ZSS Feed

This edition of my Bug Out Bag Essentials Series will be a focus on compact calories. One of the most important aspects of any Bug Out Bag (BOB), Get Home Bag (GHB) or whatever you want to call your survival kit. In every kit, you have a very limited amount of space in which to get all of your necessary supplies in. This edition, Compact Calories, will hopefully give you a few ideas as to how to fit enough life sustaining calories into your survival gear to survive when the zombies attack.

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Meals Ready to Eat are the military’s version of combat food. These meals are relatively inexpensive, very calorie dense and have a shelf life that will outlive you according to some sources.

The MRE’s components look like the picture below:

And contain:

The military makes a few changes to the menus every year so you will find a different menu listing for each year. In general, though, each MRE contains the following:
• Entree - the main course, such as Spaghetti or Beef Stew
• Side dish - rice, corn, fruit, or mashed potatoes, etc.
• Cracker or Bread
• Spread - peanut butter, jelly, or cheese spread
• Dessert - cookies or pound cakes
• Candy - M&Ms, Skittles, or Tootsie Rolls
• Beverages - Gatorade-like drink mixes, cocoa, dairy shakes, coffee, tea
• Hot sauce or seasoning - in some MREs
• Flameless Ration Heater - to heat up the entree
• Accessories - spoon, matches, creamer, sugar, salt, chewing gum, toilet paper, etc.
Each MRE provides an average of 1,250 calories (13% protein, 36% fat, and 51% carbohydrates) and 1/3 of the Military Recommended Daily Allowance of vitamins and minerals. A full day’s worth of meals would consist of three MREs.

As you can see, MRE’s are an excellent option for any survivalist. That being said, they’re laden with lots of wasted space. Read below to figure out how to make this calorie rich food more compact.

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The below post was written by MisterFluffy and originally posted on the Zombie Squad Forums. This is an excellent example of how to reduce wasted space that comes from traditional packaging that conventional survival foods typically have. MisterFluffy wrote the below information, I’m simply the editor.

After reading through the Bugout gear posts, I’ve noticed that like me, a lot of you carry MREs. But I’ve noticed that an awful lot of people will just toss in a few of the big brown plastic packs and call it good.

Well, I don’t mean to talk down on anyone, but doing it that way is a waste of space (bulky), weight (trash), and time (opening up all the friggin’ layers of packaging). Not to mention it leaves an awful lot of trash to deal with, no good if you’re trying not to leave a trace. Why pack around or have to dispose of extra trash?

I thought that, since I was field stripping some fresh MREs today to replace the ones eaten on my last bugout exercise, I would take a few pictures to illustrate my point, as well as give some folks who’ve never seen inside an MRE an idea of what delicious wonders they hold.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Do not field-strip your MREs for long term storage. I neglected to mention this the first time through and forgot to realize that most people may not have received the same boring lecture and crappy handouts. The average shelf-life of a current generation MRE is 3-5 years when in its original packaging. When field stripped the shelf life decreases by approximately 50%. So DO NOT just let them sit around forever like this!

Here we have three MREs in their from-the-factory glory. I wish I’d taken a picture of them on their sides, as the Chicken and Salsa is a particularly bulky one.

This is the aforementioned Chicken and Salsa out of the brown plastic outer bag as well as the inner semi-shrinkwrap bag. Notice the brown boxes? Yeah, those have gotta go. Ditto the extra plastic all over everything. Also, since when were Reese’s Pieces ever included!? Freakin sweet, I hate M&Ms.

Note: If you need to know the ingredients of your food, now is a good time to write them down. The only place they’re listed is on the brown cardboard, so if food allergies for you or a partner are an issue, make note now.

Here are the rest of the MREs (three total) taken out of the two sets of outer wrapping and brown cardboard sleeves. The drink mixes, crap pouches (Tabasco, TP, salt, etc) and spoons have been separated at the bottom. The top row is all of the food items, to include BBQ sauce. Calories are calories.

This is what’s left of all the crap in the bottom row of the last picture. I took two spoons, the toilet paper, a couple matchbooks, a Tabasco, and the salt. Threw out everything else (the drink mixes are crap, ditto everything else). Threw out the water-activated MRE heaters, too. They taste the same hot or cold, and the water necessary to heat your meal would be better used to stay hydrated. Then I put the “keepers” into one of the drink mixing pouches.

Note: Never, ever try to actually mix the drink powders in that stupid bag. You will not be able to drink without spilling it, it will probably leak while you’re shaking it, and you will look like a dumbass during the whole process. They’re useful as little plastic baggies, otherwise.

This is the final pile - just about everything edible. The best part of doing this is that you can easily separate out the types of food. If you’re the type that likes an LBV, throwing the candy and crackers/cheese/jelly into your vest, or even an easy outside pouch on your pack, makes a decent way to access a quick bite without digging out the whole pack. And it makes things a hell of a lot easier to deal with in the dark. The various pouches and types of food have very, very distinctive feels to them.

And now, the money shot. On the left is the entire useful contents of three MREs, packed into ONE outer bag, just for reference on the space savings we’re talking here. And on the right is all of the crap you don’t have to deal with anymore:

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Here are some more food options that I’ve written about in the past that are great ways to get compact calories in your survival systems.

Mainstay Emergency Rations

Mainstay rations are what I consider to be one of the ‘perfect’ bug out foods. These rations are impervious to heat and cold, have a 5 year shelf life and don’t make you thirsty while eating them. Each bar, which is roughly the size of a standard paperback book, contains 3600 calories which is enough to sustain an adult at a moderate level of activity for 3 days.

Mainstay’s Website Writes:
• 5 year Shelf Life
• Non-Thirst Provoking
• Withstands Temperatures of -40°F to 300°F (-40°C to 149°C)
• Ready to Eat: Each package contains 9 pre-measured 400 calorie meals.
• Individualized Portions eliminate the messy breaking-up that occurs with other bars.
• Allows for on-land emergency consumption in a high-stress active situation.
• Contains no cholesterol or tropical oils.
• Meets the US Coast Guard standards (160.046/23/0). It’s new modern packaging even meets the stringent guidelines set by the Department of Defense (SOLAS 74/83).
• Enriched with vitamins and minerals exceeding the RDA requirements.
• Pleasant lemon flavor which appeals to old and young alike.

I personally carry 4 mainstay bricks in my main bug out bag and tend to stash one or two away in every Bug Out Bag/Get Home Bag/Truck Bag I own.
An excellent review on the Mainstay Rations of JRod
Discussion of Mainstay vs Mayday Ration Bars
Iridellamas’s BOB containing mainstay rations

WHERE TO BUY

SURVIVAL UNLIMITED
EBAY
AMAZON
BRIGADE QUARTERMASTERS
SURVIVOR INDUSTRIES

Datrex Emergency Food Rations

Some individuals don’t like the lemony flavor of the Mainstay rations and would prefer something more palatable. For them, a good option might be the Datrex Emergency Food Ration.

Datrex Food Ration Bar Specs:

* Provides 3600 Calories (18 - 200 calories per bar)
* High Energy Value
* Made to be Non-Thirst provoking
* Pleasant cookie taste
* Small and lightweight
* Non affected by high heat or freezing cold (think,
car trunk emergency kit or cruise ship lifeboat in Alaska)
* All natural ingredients
* Vacuume sealed packaging locks in flavor
* Tabletized bars make for
easier rationing and dispersing
* No cooking or heating needed
Eat straight from the package
* Minimum 5 year shelf-life
* U.S. Coast Guard Approved
* Canadian Coat Guard Approved
* EC World Coast Guard Lifeboat Approved

Nutritional Information: Each bar contains 200 calories, 3gm of protein, 21gm of carbohydrate, and .75mg of sodium. Total fat is 10gm, saturated fat is 2gm, mono-unsaturated fat is 7gm, and poly-unsaturated fat is 1gm. Cholesterol is .378mg. Additionally, each bar contains Vitamin A and C, plus Thiamine, Riboflavin, and Niacin. [/quote]

Red Cross/Home Depot Pre-Made BOB featuring Datrex rations

General Food Bar Discussion

WHERE TO BUY

Nitro-pak.com
CampingSurvival.com
Preptek.com
Google Product Search

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Here are a few other calorie dense foods that pack up small in your BOB.

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This edition the BOB Essentials Series was just a brief glimpse into how to properly prepare your BOB’s food supplies. For a more in depth view of BOB foods, feel free to visit the Zombie Squad Forum’s Bug Out Bag section by Clicking This Link Thanks for reading.

Welcome to another great Zombie Squad Equipment Review. This one was submitted by AlphaMMA for his debut article. I am simply the editor of the article, so be sure to direct all credit, kudos or death threats to AlphaMMA. I’m also editing this one personally as I carry the knife under review and think it’s a fantastic survival knife (see picture below).

On with the review:

Gerber LMFII ASEK Survival Knife: Great BOB knife for a chump change price.

Manufacturer’s Link

Instructions:

I like documentation. Out of the box it came with [i]two[/i] sets of instructions, but perhaps LAPoliceGear just slipped in two sets for me. The instructions came in the form of a 8×5″ piece of paper printed in Black and White. Scan up in the morning. Gerber’s instructions claim that it is a “HIGHLY ADAPTABLE 10″ SURVIVAL KNIFE”. I agree. The instructions give detailed step by step, AMERICAN ENGLISH (sorry you limey ZS Brits) directions on how to attach to PALS webbing, the calf strap, or Belt/Thigh attachment. Check the images below for the mounting options. It also provides 4 cool images on how to smash Plexiglass, use as a hammer, convert to a spear, and use the integrated sharpener on the sheath. Scans of both sides are below

Sheath

This sheath is almost worth the $70 alone. It comes in two parts: the Kydex sheath that houses the knife, and a ballistic nylon backing to attach it using the methods described in the previous section.

The sheath has two small Modular Lightweight Load-carrying Equipment (MOLLE) straps with snap buttons. The snap buttons on this sheath, despite being made by commie Vietnamese, seem very strong. All of the stitching on the “ballistic nylon” (which I believe is 1000 Denier) is redundantly supported by two or three rows of threads. The two MOLLE straps are, if you haven’t figured out already, used to affix the sheath to the Pouch Attachment Ladder System (PALS) webbing.

It also comes with two thick, nylon straps for attachment to the calf. They have strong buckles (I heard from someone that they were Fastex, but I can not verify). The straps are impregnated with elastic in order to better grip your pants, although you’re going to need to tighten it just perfectly if you don’t want it to move around while sheathing/unsheathing your knife.

The MOLLE attachment strap also made it easy for me to affix the sheath to the shoulder strap of my back (Camelbak BFM). There is a little bit of movement, but I attribute this to my pack. I’m going to have to sew down the strap on my backpack so it can’t move. In the meantime I held it down with a safety pin.

One of the plethora of sweet features on this sheath is the fact that it is ambidextrous; you can position the sharp edge of the blade to your left or right. Good news for you leftys. Good news if you want to mount it upside-down, as well.

Another considerate feature is the built-in sharpener. To use this, you need to remove the sheath from the 1000 Denier backing. Simply stick the (non-serrated portion) of the blade into the hole in the Kydex sheath, and draw consistently through the hole. It came razor sharp out of the box (I cut myself shaving hairs off my arm). Just the way I like it.

The nylon backing for the sheath has two straps with snap-buttons that secure the hilt of the blade, although this is just another example of redundancy in this tool.

There is a strong plastic spring clip that clips onto the Guard. It holds the blade so tight that some weeny on Youtube actually complained that he got a boo boo from the clip when he bought it at the mall. Despite this guy’s classification of this feature as a con, all you have to do to remove the blade from its sheath is grasp it by the hilt, and push with your thumb, as you pull with your index finger. Your thumb should be on the clip, and it comes right out. Make no mistake, this blade will stay in its sheath until you want it to come out. Very well designed. +1

The Business End

This 10″ Drop-point blade is made of 12C27 Stainless Steel (which I believe is a specialty of Finland); this knife is sharp. As mentioned, I was able to shave a small patch of arm hair quite easily out of the box. That is, after I wiped the cosmoline off with an isopropanol soaked cotton ball. There was a bit of oil inside the sheath too, because after I cleaned it off, sheathed, then unsheathed it, there was a bit more on the tip. We’ll see how long it holds an edge with use, although I plan on keeping this on the hiking backpack.

The first 2.75″ of the blade is unserrated. The next 1.875″ is. The serrations slice through paracord like it was melting butter. I held a piece of 8.5×11″ paper taught and pulled the unserrated portion of the blade across it. There was not a single tear. It sliced through it, again, like a hot knife through melted buttery goodness (which makes me think of lobster…mmmm)

This blade is NOT full tang. It is separated from the butt end (which I’ll get to in a minute) by a Glass-filled nylon with TPV overmolded hilt. It has tiny circles on it, and gives a good grip even when wet (or bloody). The idea behind not being a full tang is that it is electrically insulated. If you click on the LA Police Gear.com link at the top of this review, there is a story by some sniper in Iraq who cut a hot power cord with one. It arced and wielded a piece of the blade, but the soldier is still alive serving his country. The hilt is quite soft and easy to scratch. I’m betting that after a few months of use its going to be missing some chunks- but I think the strong grip characteristics far outweigh this.

Now to my favorite part of the knife: the butt end. It has a plexi-glass punch, although I’m willing to bet that it will punch through all sorts of glass. Perhaps if I find some spare plexiglass in the garage I’ll put it to the test. But for now, you can view this video, again on Youtube.

The hilt has two holes, and the plexi-punch has a hole for lashing to a spear. I tied it up to one of my hiking poles. The holes are quite a convenience; perfectly shaped for paracord and they are positioned perfectly. It is pretty front-heavy, so I’m assuming it would be good for defense. I wouldn’t want to throw this knife in a survival situation. Not a chance that I’d want to be separated from this tool if TSHTF.

I have enormous hands ( size XL gloves ) and it fits just perfectly in my hand. If I put my thumb on the ridges on the guard, the meat of my palm hits part of the plexi-punch, but it’s against one of the tapered sides– not the point. It wouldn’t be a problem during intricate cutting operations.

Blade is 3/16″ thick, or about 5mm. I’d feel safe prying with it, although I’d personally hold it by the blade during prying, since its not a full tang.

The center of gravity is at about 4″; about 1.5″ below the guard. I don’t know much about throwing knives, but I bet you could learn how to do it with this blade with some practice.

Instruction page 1:

Instruction page 2:

The drop-point blade:

The Kydex Fire-Retardant Sheath:

Unsecured:

Secured:

The glass/zombie skull obliterating plex-punch

Showing the built-in sharpener. There’s a Phillips head screw to remove and clean the angled stones inside:

The Kydex sheath has holes for lashing, and 3/4″ slats for strapping:

Mounting options:

From pistol belt (no thigh strap)

Pistol belt with thigh strap (much more secure on the draw)

From shoulder strap:

On PALS webbing:

On calf:

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If you liked this article, feel free to contribute to the Zombie Squad Forum thread on this knife by Clicking Here. Thanks for reading.

This edition of the ZSS Feed will showcase several recipes submitted by Zombie Squad members.

Each recipe is one that you can cook using a campfire or cook stove.

Okay, enough filler, on with the recipes.

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This recipe comes to us from IllicitDreams and is for Venison cooked over the campfire.

This is just one of many methods of preparing dinner on a campfire, but one of my favorites due to ease of cleanup.

The foil pack…

For this meal I prepared Venison Tenderloins, Potatoes, and Carrots.

I marinated the Tenderloins overnight in a chile and lime marinade, sliced the potatoes, and added baby carrots to the mix.

The potatoes and carrots were seasoned with butter, and creole seasoning.

Now for assembly.

Start by prepping the potatoes, I like leaving the skin on mine for extra flavor.

As you can see I used packages of baby carrots for ease of use.

Next rip off a piece of foil approx. 2.5 feet. Place large dab of butter (think half dollar coin sized) on foil, add potato slices, carrots (onions if you wish), and seasoning of choice.

As you can see the vegetables are placed towards one end of the foil.

Next add meat, you can use meat you’ve marinated, or use unmarinated it doesn’t matter.

Now fold the end of the foil over the food, and continue folding until you reach the end of the piece of foil you tore off. Roll the edges toward the food to seal the package. Unfortunately I forgot to take pictures of this step.

Then place the foil pack on hot coals, for approximately 15-30 mins per side (less depending on how well you like the meat done.), remove from coals, unwrap and enjoy… as always be careful the contents will be hot.

Clean up is a breeze just burn the paper plate, wad up the foil, toss it in your trash bag, wash your knife, and utensil.

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This recipe comes from Dogbane and is a simple hamburger and onion recipe cooked over the campfire. Sounds yummy and simple, lets give it a look.

I recently did a workshop in which I did some cooking with foil. My favorite was the hamburger cooked in an onion.

First, I hollowed out a yellow onion:

Packed one half with ground beef:

Put the other half on top:

Wrapped it in foil (shiny side in is supposed to make it slightly hotter–who knows?):

Cooked on open coals:

Then unwrapped it and ate it. Unfortunately, I was hungry and snarfed the thing down before I thought to take a picture of the delicious finished product. Some people cooked eggs in their onions, which turned out all right.

But here’s a picture of a nifty foil-and-stick frying pan that worked quite well:

Also, we made meatloaf on a stick, which was quite good.

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This next article comes to us from forum moderator NFA. Despite the fact that this recipe was cooked on a stovetop, I’ve included it because there’s no refrigerated items used in this dish’s preparation and all of the items are items that most survivalists have on hand in their pantry already. On with the recipe (which is delicious, I’ve tried this one myself)

I’m enjoying a snow-day at home with my son today, so when I started to get hungry, I explored our emergency food supply a bit to make a lunch for myself…

Canned black beans (15.25 oz), canned ham (5oz), olive oil (2T), garlic (3 cloves), Tabasco (about 10-12 drops)…all of these things live in my food supply closet in quantity…

Pour the oil into a frying pan, add the garlic (cut into both large and small pieces), fry over medium heat until the smaller pieces are just starting to brown a bit…

Next add the can of beans (don’t drain them, everything in the can goes into the pan)…once they begin to bubble, add the ham and break it up so the flavors can co-mingle nicely…once the soup begins to bubble, add tabasco to taste…

The finished product is yummy and filling and nutritious:

Beans - 3.5g fat, 24.5g protein, 66.5g carb, 385 calories
Ham - 15g fat, 22.5g of protein, 0g carb, 225 calories
Oil - 28g fat, 0g protein, 0g carb, 238 calories
Garlic - 0g fat, 1g protein, 0g carb, 13 calories
Tabasco - 0g fat, 0g protein, 0g carb, 1 calorie

TOTAL: 46.5g fat, 48g protein, 66.5g carb, 981 calories

{nutritional info came from the cans and from http://www.nutritiondata.com/ }

nfa

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This next recipe was submitted by Woods Walker and though the ingredients list might be a bit long, the preparation is super simple.

Camp meal. Nothing special.

Here is my normal camp meal. It’s not mama’s cooking but is high calorie, lightweight, easy to pack and cheap. Goes without saying any stove would work but if using my wood stove for heat than that is my preference.

1. Lipton side dish. Beans and rice but other side dishes work. I tend to avoid anything with powdered cheese type sauce. These have a bit more calories but they tend to burn much easier.

2. Olive oil. You can use packets or in this case a few ounces in a small canteen

3. Granola type bar.

4. Powdered milk.

5. Coffee with two sugars or hot coco.

6. Spiced Cider.

7. Pack of cooked chicken. Beef jerky or anything like that is good too.

I fill the cook pot and cup with water and bring it to a simmer leaving enough room for the food to be mixed in.

Mix in the side dish and olive oil. I normally use ½ oz of oil.

Cut the chicken up and then add to the mix.

Keep cook pot at a simmer or boil and still occasionally. Normally it will be done in 7-12 minutes.

Let sit of another few minutes with lid for thickening than enjoy.

Sometime during the later stages of cooking the main dish check the cup. It should be boiling or at the very least simmering. Or if using a normal camp stove put the cup on as the main dish thickens.

Make your cup of coffee, coco, tea or spiced cider. Whatever floats your boat. Side it off to the warming tray or ground if you don’t have one.

This meal will not win any awards at the country fair but sure beats Mountain House or MREs in my view. The downside being this takes more time and work.

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This next series of recipes comes from Horror Chic. Although there’s no pictures, some of these recipes appeared in yummy food form at Zombie Con this year and deserve to be mentioned here.

English Muffins

1 c warm water
½ c warm milk (or use 1 ½ c warm water with 2 T powdered milk)
2 t sugar
1 t salt 2 t yeast (or 1 package) dissolved in 2 T water

Mix all ingredients, then add in 2 c flour. Beat well. Allow to rise until it collapses on itself. Then gradually work in 2 c more flour. Roll dough out ¾ inch thick, cut into rounds, and allow to rise. Bake on preheated, greased griddle, turning once, until golden brown.

Griddle Scones

2 c flour
A pinch salt
3 t baking powder
2 T butter
2 T sugar
1 egg beaten with enough milk to make 2/3 cup

Mix flour, baking powder, and salt, then rub in butter. Mix in sugar. Add egg/milk mixture and mix (BRIEFLY!) to form a soft dough. Knead 1 minute. Divide into three parts. Roll out each piece to a ¼ inch circle, and cut into four wedges. Bake each piece on a griddle for 3 minutes on a side, turning once.

White Bread (this works really well as a base for cinnamon rolls)

6 c flour
1 t salt
2 T butter
2 t (or 1 pkg) yeast
1 t sugar
2 c warm water

Mix flour and salt, and rub in butter. Sprinkle yeast on ¼ c of the water, with the sugar added. Let proof 5 minutes, then add, with the rest of the water, to the flour mixture. Mix well, knead ten minutes, then put in bowl and let rise until doubled. Knock down dough, shape into two loaves and let rise until doubled. Bake at 450 degrees until brown, approx. 30 minutes.

Spoon Bread

5 eggs
¼ c cornmeal
1 T sugar
½ t salt
2 c milk
2 T melted butter

Beat eggs. Stir in cornmeal, salt, milk, and butter. Bake until top is golden brown and puffed up.

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Our last recipe comes to you from Erik and isn’t for the faint of heart. Be sure to put the kids to bed, bar the doors and for the love of all that is sacred, keep this man from ever making another recipe again.

I present to you: Brain Sammiches

Hello, ZS! Tonight I once again whipped up one of the local favorite dishes, which I also love. Brains! Here are step by step preparation instructions with photos.

Step 1: Get a can of pig brains. They are readily available at the small grocery stores in my area. They are precooked and aren’t bad if you don’t mind the 1080% cholesterol per serving. They run about $1.69.

Step 2: Open the can of pig brains. Look at them in revulsion or with hunger, depending on the person.

Step 3: Here’s a closeup of a nice larger brain chunk. Don’t be a pansy, pop that chunk right into your mouth.

Step 4: Break four eggs into a frying pan.

Step 5: Add brains and scramble.

Step 6: Admire your delicious scrambled eggs and brains. Looks tasty now, doesn’t it?

Step 7: Put between slices of toast. Makes one sandwich per egg.

Step 8: Enjoy! I had a craving for these all week. Brain sandwiches are actually *very* filling! Yum!

-Erik

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That’s it for this edition of Cooking with the Zombie Hunters. If you’d like to visit some of the threads on the Zombie Squad Forums and contribute to the discussions, don’t hesitate to visit our Eats and Drinks Forum. Thanks for reading!

How I Spent the Week Before My Summer Vacation Started

Surviving…

1. cross-country torture by the employees of United Express Airlines (twice!)
2. Zombiecon 2008

I hated one of these endurance tests more than seems reasonable or fair, and loved the other to the same extent…here’s the story of the one that I loved (with a bit of bitching at the end about the one that I hated)…

Zombiecon is a get-together of (this year) about 60 members of the world’s foremost non-stationary cadaver elimination outfit, Zombie Squad, that is held a few miles from the Walmart in Desloge, MO…

NOTE: to protect the innocent (along with the not-so-innocent), and because I won’t remember all of the names of the people that I was lucky enough to meet last week, I am not going to use any names in this blog entry

I arrived in the afternoon on Wednesday, and hauled a couple of loads of my (way too much) crap up the hill in the afternoon heat…given the slope and lack of soil, I was glad that I brought my Hennessy Hammock to sleep in, and soon found a spot to set up my home for the week…

I drank more than my fair share of water during the course of Zombiecon…this picture shows the water facilities…Berkeley filters and jerrycans of pee-water hauled up from Manbath and some Clorox to kill off whatever the filters don’t get…hauling water up the hill a couple of times during Zombiecon was easy enough, although after some of the intensive Manbath sessions, I was a little leery of the end product of the filtration system…I survived drinking gallons of the stuff though, so no worries…

I saw this coyote-poop just outside of Manbath, during one of the 6,483 trips up and down the steep nugget of pain that is the hill to Zcon Central…

Once I got my HH set up, and the rest of my camping gear/clothing stashed under the tarp, I headed down to the central canopied area to eat (very little, I’m a polar bear, and Zcon felt like the Sahara to me) and drink (too much…cold beer likes me, and the feeling is mutual) while howdying people and enjoying the sunset…

Despite the slope and height and swarms of rabid wolverines and loose rocks on the hill, almost everyone brought coolers (at least 1)…some with wheels…there was no shortage of food or drink at Zcon, and I found everyone happy to share with everyone else…there were both great and terrible food and drink items that passed my lips during the week…thanks to everyone for them all…

The canopies and tables in the central area of camp made everything easier, especially in the heat and sun of the spectacular weather that we generally had during Zcon…

This picture shows a meeting of the minds of some members of the ZS power structure…yup, Kyle is actually drinking his morning coffee from a goblet/chalice…

On Thursday morning, a bunch of us climbed the rest of the way to the top of the hill, and enjoyed an interesting seminar on (mostly) Ham radio communication…it was a super presentation, and made me dust off the downloaded set of questions that I printed out for my technical test…I’ll try to get to the test sometime this summer…

Once the bulk of the seminar was delivered, we actually communicated with ham operators from all over the country…this portion of the seminar was the reason for having it hosted on top of the hill, and for the huge antenna poking the heavens in the ass…

Manbath…the name alone invokes fear and lust and shame and (strangely) thirst among anyone who has experienced Cthulhu’s wading pool…it was an important part of my Zcon experience for a number of reasons: I drank gallons of “purified”water wrung from it’s depths; I cleaned the slime and scum and sweat and blood off of my carcass every day in the same spot that water carriers filed the jerrycans; I drank lots of beer (and booze, including some banana liqueur some sick fuck brought to the party) while standing in its thrall, ignoring the angry Sun overhead (and the growing burns on my pink parts); I tried to ignore/forget the baleful and exultant cries and naked manparts that escaped from its gravity well…

I loved and hated Manbath…it both cleansed and sullied me on many levels…

We had another seminar up at the main gathering area, this one on 1st aid and 1st aid kits…

This was another great seminar, rich with information and suggestions about improving methods and techniques and supplies for when people get broken or spring leaks…

After the 2nd seminar, most people seemed to head back down to Manbath…enough, in fact, that they ended up holding the 3rd seminar of the day down in Manbath once it was clear that few would be able to escape its eerie pull…

The numerous waterfalls that feed Manbath may have something to do with it not becoming a toxic wasteland during the course of Zcon…there were fish when we arrived, and I saw them still swimming on my last morning swim on my way out of camp…

The application of suntan goop was an ongoing social activity (mating ritual?), and you could tell those who were unlucky or unmindful of the Sun by their bright red hides and ouchy whining the next day…

The 3rd seminar was on ZS fund-raising and charity activities, a huge part of what ZS does (since the zombocalypse is ever over the horizon, and we can focus on more immediate/likely disasters)…the original ZS chapter (in St. Louis) members had lots of great advice for people interested in starting new chapters all over the place (we had Zcon attendees from as far away as Wales) or just running a charity event to help out people in need…

Some ZSers love Manbath beyond all (readily apparent and/or sane) reason…

Eventually, the sun slunk behind the hill, and people started to think about dinner (either due to hunger, or as a base for further drinking later in the evening)…Zcon cooking is all done over one big central fire (which saved me bringing my stove…yay!), and promotes a friendly atmosphere of sharing and potluck-ing…

Everyone settled into campchairs, or on top of coolers, to enjoy dinner, and the coming of cooler air as the day gave way to night, and we got ready for the movies…

Every night at Zcon, we watched 2-3 zombie movies…some good, some bad, some indecent…my favorite (to my everlasting shame) was “Special Dead“, and I would have trouble picking a least favorite (although I’d rather snort hornets than watch “Wild Zero” again…ever)…

Friday we headed out in convoy and went over to Cherokee Landing to do a river float…

It took a while to get everyone and all of the boats and gear to the put-in location, but we a fun time waiting and sharing out/redistributing the MREs and components that ZS had given us for lunch (I got Chicken with Thai Sauce, and it was awesome!)…

Eventually we head off, wary and mindful of the clouds overhead, and the thunder in the distance…

We all moved at different speeds, but would occasionally pull over on a sandbar to prevent excessive spacing out along the river…

It was a gorgeous river and a fun trip, although there were numerous places where we had to get out to drag across shallow stretches or over downed trees…it did start to rain and thunder after a while, and my canoe partner and I got down to business and paddled hard to the Cherokee Landing headquarters to wait for everyone else…we surprised the outfitters with our time down, and had a bit of a wait until the last people pulled in, wet and cold and tired, but having had a fun day on the river!

It may be a law (natural, unnatural, or otherwise) that any time more than 3 ZSers get together and it’s not over 95 degrees, at least one of them will start a fire…there was a welcome application of the law in this case, as it was a little cool and a little windy for the wet bodies that had just gotten off of the water and cooled off after paddling (drifting, drinking, sleeping) in the rain for hours…

Saturday was the range day, and we convoyed for an hour or so over to the range, and set up the canopies (thank God, it was blazing hot all day) in 3 areas: rifles, shotguns, and handguns…after a brief safety refresher talk, we started shooting…it was a fun time for me, as I had never seen lots of the guns there, and everyone was more than willing to teach and share and let me shoot…

It was great to not know almost anything about handguns, ask for, and get, a tutorial, and then have people come up and offer to let me shoot their handguns…I had fun with all of the firearms that I shot on range-day, but the 45-70 was a ridiculous favorite of mine (you gotta be ready for zombie-robot-trex-alypse!)…

There was no shortage of ammo or variety in the types and sizes of firearms available…

There was lots going on over on the rifle range as well…shooting and instruction…

Mil-surp to high-tech

Someone gather about 30 pounds of brass during the course of the day for reloading purposes…

The shotgun shooting was fun, a clay-thrower and various shotguns and personalized instruction from a member of the US shooting team…not too shabby…

A picture of Brash blasting away with the 45-70 revolver…

Range-day ended with a pistol match…4 zombie-targets: 2 shots into the first 2 targets (center mass shots acceptable, but headshots preferable), change out magazine, 2 shots into the next target, and 3 shots into the final target (at least 1 in the head)…

I’d never seen this type of match before, and it was cool to see people close-in target shooting and accomplish the magazine changes while being timed…

As had been the case each night, there were some cries of “MEDIC” once people got back to camp, got fed, and noticed the bloodtrail they had been leaving behind them all the while…luckily, ZS is chock full of people with the gear and training to handle most medical issues likely to come up…

The first movie of Saturday night was, “Night of the Living Dead in 3D“, 60 people clinging to their drinks and the side of a mountain in the middle of nowhere while wearing 3D glasses and watching such a miserable piece of shit as this movie is nothing short of awesome!

While we were watching the movie, some of the ZS board members made and delivered fresh-made popcorn for us to enjoy…it was a wonderful experience, and a nice followup to the excellent grilled dinner that they had made for us earlier in the evening…

My shoulder bag from CountyComm was a lifesaver, both at Zombiecon and in transit to and from the St. Louis airport…it kept all of my important gear and papers close and organized, and allowed me to keep my sanity while United Express fucked me over repeatedly…

A brief rant about United Express:
I was supposed to fly out (to DC and then on to STL) Tuesday afternoon, but they cancelled my first flight…they switched me to Chicago to STL, which was then delayed until it was impossible to make the connection, so they switched me back to DC to STL in the morning…I made the first leg the next morning, but the second leg was cancelled, so I had to go to Chicago and then onto STL, both legs delayed, and wait for 2.5 hours until my bags caught up with me…

On the way back they delayed my first flight for so long that it should have been impossible to catch the next leg, and the alternative they offered was cancelled, but staying true to their nature, the original second leg of the flight of the flight was delayed by 2 hours more than the first had been, and so I made it to ALB eventually, although I again had to wait for my bag to get there (even though I ended up taking the flights that I had been ticketed for…go figure)…

Lessons Learned From Zombiecon:

1. bring less gear and clothes
2. buy less food
3. buy more ice for beer
4. get Sun-pocalypse tested suntan goop, and apply it all the time
5. Hennessy Hammocks rock, I slept better at Zcon than I do at home
6. ALWAYS maintain eye-contact while in Manbath, looking down can only result in therapy
7. drink more water
8. ticks like warm and wet and crinkly pink parts, so check everyday, and then get a friend to check the hard to reach spots…Lyme Disease sucks!
9. Canadians like Walmart
10. if the end of the world comes, I want to go through it with a group of people like the ones who attended Zombiecon this year…nice and funny and knowledgeable and defective in the same ways that I am…

Thanks to everybody who made Zombiecon possible, fun, and also a learning experience!

Jamie - nfa

Snagged from nfa’s blog: http://myzombieblog.blogspot.com/2008/06/zombiecon-2008.html

You can find a forum discussion about everyone’s adventure here: http://zombiehunters.org/forum/viewtopic.php?f=38&t=30821

It’s almost that time of the year again when Zombie Squaders from around the globe meet up and double the population of Irondale, MO.

Registration ends on May 15th. Don’t miss the greatest Zombie Survival event in North America! Details are here: http://zombiehunters.org/zombiecon2008.php

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