I am now, however, a few weeks shy of going on parental leave and have given in to my more base instincts when doing my job. After all, what are they gonna do, fire me?
Me: Good evening, this is Mugwug from XXX security calling regarding system number 3Z12348.
Alarm Operator: Ok, The Jones residence? What's your report?
Me: Yes ma'am, our unit attended at 1946hrs, cleared at 1951hrs and reported the premises was found secure with all windows intact, no activity on site or answer at the front door and no indications of the undead in the vicinity.
Alarm Operator: Ok, clearing at 1951hrs...um, did you say undead?
Me: Yes ma'am.
Alarm Operator: The UNDEAD?
Me: Yes, ma'am...as stated, no indications of the undead in the vicinity. Would you like us to double check?
Alarm Operator: What do you mean?
Me: Oh I see, when I say "the undead" I am of course referring to the reanimated bodies of the recently deceased. I can understand your confusion, as "undead" sometimes refers to vampires and such, but clearly in this situation that would be ludicrous.
Alarm Operator: Whats your operator ID?
Alarm Operator: Thank you, <click>