***ZS Homework*** Raising the Zombie Awareness

by **Horatio_Tyllis** » Mon Aug 16, 2004 4:43 am

This is too good not to post: Today on the bus to work, i had the following conversation with one of the blackjack dealers who happened to be sitting next to me. We were cramped and i felt like being wierd.

Me: Stupid punk kids.... (nodding towards a group of skaters as we drive past) with their skateboards and their funny hats"

Him: (Pause) Yeah

Me: They'll get their com-uppance when the zombie apocalypse rolls around

Him: (Ignores me)

(I wait about 5 minutes saying absloutely nothing)

Me: You DO believe in the zombie apocalypse don't you?

Him (Almost cutting me off he responded extremely fast, in a tone so creepy i didn't want to take it any further) "I am prepared"

It was just strange.

by **Horatio_Tyllis** » Sun Aug 22, 2004 4:43 am

I told 3 people about the zombie menace today. Two were co-workers, and one plans on checking out the site. the other was Alanis Morisette. She seemed to think I was odd... her handler told me not to talk to her again!

by **jamoni** » Sun Aug 22, 2004 8:39 am

Screw her if she doesn't want to listen. We don't need her brand of whiny bitch-ness in the PAW anyway.

by **American** » Sun Aug 22, 2004 10:12 am

Horatio_Tyllis wrote:This is too good not to post: Today on the bus to work, i had the following conversation with one of the blackjack dealers who happened to be sitting next to me. We were cramped and i felt like being wierd.

Me: S"tupid punk kids.... (nodding towards a group of skaters as we drive past) with their skateboards and their funny hats"

Him: (Pause) Yeah

Me: They'll get their com-uppance when the zombie apocalypse rolls around

Him: (Ignores me)

(I wait about 5 minutes saying absloutely nothing)

Me: You DO believe in the zombie apocalypse don't you?

Him (Almost cutting me off he responded extremely fast, in a tone so creepy i didn't want to take it any further) "I am prepared"

It was just strange.

He probably thought you weere an escapee from the Asylum

by **American** » Sun Aug 22, 2004 10:13 am

noncyr wrote:This morning:

CoWorker: Damn that new door in the service hallway is heavy.
Me: Yeah, either the hinges are to tight or they used the wrong kind of wood.
CoWorker: I guess it's good that the wind won't open it, but it's hard to open when your hands are full.
Me: Yeah, but it'll be a good defense against zombies in case of an outbreak.

Did he then lkook at you funny, then suggest you switch to decaf?

by **multipass** » Tue Nov 30, 2004 5:24 am

Well me and my brother are always discussing the matter, what equipment to have, weapons, vehicles. Where to go, how to travel. I got one kid my college who thinks i'm a nutcase because he see's me posting on here during my computing lessons.

I also get funny looks from people up town, but i have an idea, any of thoose street preachers you see in the streets, i intend to go up to one and ask him on his views on the zombie menance and if his belief covers death by zombie and/or zombie protection. I am sure i will get funny looks from saying that.

by **Nightside_Eclipse** » Tue Nov 30, 2004 6:04 am

My girlfriend and I watched 28DL the other day. During the whole movie I was pointing out all the dumb things they did and throwing in some real life survival things that the bastards in the movie were just REFUSING to listen to. :wink:

After is was over and she got ready to go home we had this great little conversation:

Her- "This movie was scary- I'm gonna have to run inside and lock my door when I get hom"

Me- "Yeah- you better lock the do...."

At this point you could probably see the light bulbs going off in my brain. YES!! An oppurtunity to talk about zombie survival!!!

Me again- "You better go in a lock the door and the dead bolt, and if you any zombies show up, you and you sister go into your room and lock the door. Oh wait.... you're room has a big window-"

Her- "My window is covered in tin foil and they can't see in"

Me- " I wouldn't rely on that- they may hear you in there and break in anyway. Go into your closet... dammit, your closet door won't lock. Ok, you two grab a phone, go into your mothers bathroom and lock the door- then call me- I'll be there as soon as I can and I'll take care of them. Then we'll come back to my house and board it up until we can get some supplies and get the hell out of here "

by **Gundown** » Tue Nov 30, 2004 6:08 am

My girlfriend and coworkers just shake their heads at me.

They're like "Sad retarded security guard. Zombies and Santa aren't real."

BUT THEY ARE REAL!!! THE ARE! THEY ARE!

by **bgaesop** » Tue Nov 30, 2004 2:49 pm

I KNOW! Why won't anyone listen?!?! Santa!!!!

by **Gundown** » Tue Nov 30, 2004 5:44 pm

He's the master of Bug Out Bags yaknow!?

And he's got a stockpile of shit where no zombie would ever go.

And his beard is white as snow.

by **jamoni** » Tue Nov 30, 2004 7:13 pm

Is santa the ultimate zombie survivalist? I'm hitting the north pole in the PAW!

by **ghostface** » Tue Nov 30, 2004 9:52 pm

1. Lives in an arctic climate where zombies will freeze.
2. Has unmatched infiltration/exfiltration skills. Applies only to chimneys.
3. Has a sweet BOV with land and air capability. Brownwater capabilities pending.
4. Has the ultimate BOB, as someone else mentioned.
5. Naughty or nice list makes it a snap to distinguish raiders from helpless survivors.
6. Mad backup from elf henchmen.
7. Animal husbandry, particularly effective on Reindeer and yappy dogs.
8. Loving if skeptic support from Mrs. Claus.
9. Already living off of the grid.
10. Most badass of all, purposefully stays fat to taunt the hungry zombies.

by **Methos** » Tue Nov 30, 2004 10:50 pm

Ghostface, I think you might just be the coolest person ever. ::Nods::

by **bgaesop** » Tue Nov 30, 2004 10:56 pm

Plus, don't forget, he is immune to everything other than nerf. How many of you carry nerf in your BOB's?

by **will** » Tue Nov 30, 2004 11:41 pm

kyle and raptorman have matching Nerf guns in there BOBs

by **Gundown** » Wed Dec 01, 2004 3:31 am

ghostface wrote:1. Lives in an arctic climate where zombies will freeze.
2. Has unmatched infiltration/exfiltration skills. Applies only to chimneys.
3. Has a sweet BOV with land and air capability. Brownwater capabilities pending.
4. Has the ultimate BOB, as someone else mentioned.
5. Naughty or nice list makes it a snap to distinguish raiders from helpless survivors.
6. Mad backup from elf henchmen.
7. Animal husbandry, particularly effective on Reindeer and yappy dogs.
8. Loving if skeptic support from Mrs. Claus.
9. Already living off of the grid.
10. Most badass of all, purposefully stays fat to taunt the hungry zombies.

Don't forget his bitchin' machine shop/Chem. lab for making "Toys".

by **kyle** » Wed Dec 01, 2004 9:48 am

You guys totally got this thread off topic.

by **Gundown** » Thu Dec 02, 2004 3:19 am

I'll take the blame and re-rail the thread.

The other morning I had just gotten off work and climbed into bed with my girlfriend. She asked me what I had done at work the night before. I told her I read the Mossberg web site.

She asked what the Mossberg site was and I told her.

"It's the home site for Mossberg shotguns."

Her: "Why would you read that?"

Me: "To gather information on shotguns. The guys on the Forums say go for the 500 but I think I'm going to get an 88."

Her: "It's not going to happen."

Me: "What?"

Her: "Zombies aren't real dear. They're just in the movies."

Me: "You try telling me that when I come over and find you eating Bob in the middle of the living room." (Bob is her small yappy dog that pees on stuff. She loves him for some reason.)

Her: "That's horrible, don't say things like that."

Me: "I'm just sayin'."

Her: "So you're going to buy a gun?"

Me: "A shotgun. You know, for home defense."

Her: "And zombies"

Me: They pretty much fall under home defense."

Her: "You aren't going to keep it here are you?"

Me: "I don't even live here."

Her: "Ok... you can if you want I was just asking."

Me: "Uh huh."

Her: "Would you come get me if there were zombies?"

Me: "Zombies aren't real honey. They're just in movies."

Her: "Well what if?"

Me: "I think you're going a little crazy dear. But yah, I guess I would. It depends on traffic."

Then she got frustrated and stopped talking to me and I got to go to sleep.

by **Raccoon City Survivor** » Thu Dec 02, 2004 8:43 am

Damn.

(Dump her!)

Hey, shut up back there.

(No, seriously, dump her!)

Wait, I agree.

by **kyle** » Thu Dec 02, 2004 9:25 am

GunDown wrote:Me: "I think you're going a little crazy dear. But yah, I guess I would. It depends on traffic."

Nice job. I'd give you two gold stars but that Raptorman guy took them all.

by **Raccoon City Survivor** » Thu Dec 02, 2004 9:37 am

kyle wrote:Raptorman guy took them all.

Yeah, what's his problem?

by **Gundown** » Fri Dec 03, 2004 12:32 am

Raccoon City Survivor wrote:(Dump her!)

I'm not going to "dump her". I like her; she just doesn't quite get me.

And I can live without the gold stars. I don't need to compensate for anything.

Just kidding Raptor don't kill me plz. Kthxbye!

by **Coal-Cracker** » Fri Jan 28, 2005 3:18 pm

Sorry to bring this post back from the dead. Hope noone minds...

I'm manager (Art Director) of my department. During the new employee interviewing process I'll typically give them a tour of the department. I'll briefly show them the darkroom and I'll comment casually on "thats where we store the Zombie Chemicals", then quickly move on as if what I had just said wasn't unusual. The muted reactions I get from the potential hires are classic in their subtle expressions.
These are the little things that make my day more bearable.

by **bgaesop** » Sat Jan 29, 2005 5:53 pm

That's pretty funny. I really should print off those posters and put them up at the local games shop. I think I'll do that the next opportunity I have...

ZS Homework Raising the Zombie Awareness

Who is online