Mission: Patrol of Bear Swamp Archery Complex.
. . . . .
Team: Myself and Riley the Zombie Response Dog
A member of our team taking some pre-apocalypse target practice on the KD (known distance) course.
We became very interested in this Bear Swamp facility after your photorecon, BSR. Based on your report, we believe it to be a top notch center for training both uniformed and civilian staff in the art of stealthily neutralizing the undead. So we immediately dispatched a ZS advance recon and appraisal team to that location after your visit. More on that in a moment.
But first, as you point out, only a clean head shot will fell a zombie. In civilian circles, training to hit the central body mass is often advisable in sporting situations such as bowhunting. But as seen here at a ZS training exercise, central body mass shots are utterly useless when combating a shambling ghoul.
FYI: Please note that the casual appearance of ZS training staff in proximity to this zombie is not indicative of a lax attitude towards "live" undead range safety, but rather reflective of the rigorous precautions ZS always takes when setting up these exercises. This zombie, while still quite dangerous, wasn't going anywhere:
ZS obviously has access to a practically inexhaustible supply of undead for training purposes. For at home training, we recommend some sort of a zombie analog. Crude but effective.
As indicated above, we immediately dispatched a ZS response and advance recon team to the Bear Swamp archery complex shortly after your visit, BSR. Primarily based on the following photograph.
I recently installed a set of green target acquisition LED's at Jare-3's suggestion but I think I am going to have them removed due to them totally freaking me out. What do you think?
What we think, BSR, is that you momentarily fell victim to a phenomena known as L
alidation and M
evotion to O
rouping syndrome, an all-too-common affliction among ZRD handlers. The LUVMYDOG syndrome can lead to undue fixation on the aesthetic and emotional qualities of your ZRD, especially when conducting photoreconnaissance, where we find the ZRD K9 is often the central focus of the submitted pictures. An unwelcome consequence is that the handler is not attending to what your ZRD is actually trying to tell you. While we acknowledge this is a common and nearly unavoidable situation, we urge discipline in remaining focused on the task you both are trained for.
Our ZS advance recon and appraisal team arrived on location a scant 90 minutes after your visit, BSR. We found the elevated platform where the above shot was taken and while our staff was logging GPS coordinates, they were accosted thusly:
We have every reason to believe that Riley's alerting behavior, however aesthetically displeasing, was engaged when you took that picture because this ghoul was closing in on your position while you where distracted by LUVMYDOG.
Finally, after rigorous post-mission analysis and tactical debriefing, is our considered, professional option that we too are totally creeped out by Riley's LED target acquisition upgrade. Some images cannot be unseen and that one shot of your ZRD discharging those beams is such an image. Our intel analysis team has been on double liquid mood enhancement rations since reviewing that photorecon, with only partial recovery expected any time soon.
All ZRD's have their individual strengths, but while Jare-3's ZRD Elsa can pull off that look, Riley cannot.
We strongly recommend immediate removal of the LEDs and reversion to Riley's Z-Tail target alert configuration post haste.