Brown recluse zombie maker

[Gray Gator]

How about the Banana Spider................

[greenear123]

How about the Banana Spider................

The last thing that the OP saw during self imposed face-palm.
Had an encounter with a zombie spider, damn thing chased me across the garage after I stepped on it, hit it with a shovel and dropped a 20lb lead ingot on it. It just kept coming. Finally got it with a can of WD40. My wife saw the whole thing from the door, literally rolled on the ground and peed herself she was laughing so hard.

[SeerSavant]

WD-40, 2000 uses and counting...

[Viper shtf]

Kent.. I like the second one better...


OP; My answer is to unleash the hordes of mutated Preying Mantis legions than I've been breeding in my secret underground bunker.
They are well trained in biological insurgency and systema trained...



As an aside, if they don't succeed, I have a batallion of green tree frogs in my basement that i've been showing Chuck Norris movies to non stop for weeks now...

I think one of them has begun to grow a beard..

Best reply ever.

[SeerSavant]

My experiments on the frog masses is coming along well...






I've got Lone Wolf McQuade and Good Guy's Wear Black playing on a loop....

A few more months and they will be ready....

Oh yes... they will...

(long maniacal laughter, lightning flash and Hammer esque musical cues to follow)

[squinty]

*M.A.N.T.I.S.
Mantis' attack numerous targets in squads

*ahem* Man(or Woman)tis, please. No need to be sexist.

[jojo200517]

Well I only have about half a can of raid left. Time to fill up the tank sprayer with offroad diesel I suppose

[JARHEAD0811]

I was bitten by one fifteen years ago. I was at the ER almost 24 hours afterwards with my right hand and arm swollen big as hell. I didn't see the thing but the doctor said it was a BR. He gave me a shot of something and it helped with the fever and nausia, the next day he sprayed my hand with freezing spray and lanced the bite area and the nurse drained it out by squeezing above my elbow down to my hand. Instand happy camper after it drained. I don't know how common they are here in central california, until I got bitten I had never heard of a BR. There was a lady in San Diego who lost a leg to one. I hate spiders.

[sgtpoliteness]

They hide in the woodpile or under the porches in the Pacific Northwest. Once they get you, you know it by the huge gaping wound that is draining on your arm, and the emergency room bill in your mailbox

I got bit by one of those little buggers in my late teens. It was a mess. The venom was so bad I had scratched my back before I noticed the bite and there were dozens of bumps where I had rubbed. Where the bite actually occured was on my left hand and and it swoll up something fierce. The bite mark started to turn black. Luckily for me my mom dragged me down to the doctor's right away. Half a dozen physicians came in and I was told this is the worst bite they'd seen that hadn't killed someone. Wonderful. It was weeks before it healed.

Found it in a woodpile...