Think I was being sized up today

[Jack Squat]

So today as I was sitting down to eat breakfast, I heard a knock at the door. Went to check it, and a guy who was dressed in clean, pressed church clothes introduced himself as a neighbor who had been locked out of his house (I don't actually know anyone besides my immediate neighbors, so I didn't doubt him). He gave some story about his daughters and wife being at a gas station.

All he wanted was a ride to meet up with his father in law and grab a spare key. He called his father in law to see where he was, and took me down a couple back streets to a house that was a little run down - but around here most of them are. No cars were in the driveway, and when he knocked, no one answered. he called again, and directed me to another house. I thought this was a little weird, but went along with it. The whole time he was asking me questions, like where I was from (I get this a lot, as I don't have the local accent), what I was going to school for, etc, if I worked - normal small talk. He offered to pay me for my troubles and wanted to know if I was going to be home all day - which I am; it's actually rare for when someone isn't home.

We started to head into one of the worse parts of town, but didn't go too far into it when we pulled up to house # 2. This other house wasn't as run down, and there was a mini van parked in front, and the front door was open. He walks in, then comes back out, saying he wasn't there either. This is really where I thought things started to go sketch, and he wanted me to call a number different than the one he had been calling. I refused and ended up pulling over in a full church parking lot, telling him that I really think that everything was turning a little too sketchy, and maybe one of them could help. He tried to get me to take him back to around the starting point, but I really just wanted him out of the car. Ended up driving off, and am finally fixing the deadbolt on my door so I'm not using only the normal lock.

Looking back, there were several warning signs that I probably should have picked up on earlier - hindsight 20-20 and all that, but I'm more looking review on how I ended up handling it, what I could do differently, and what I might expect to come of this in the future.

Ninja-edit: I just got a call from one of the two numbers he had dialed - he had actually called back about a dozen times, so I finally decided to pick up. All but the first call were to a guy who was in church the whole time, so that may explain the driving around to several areas, if he couldn't get a hold of who he was looking for and was just making guesses as to where he could be. Still, it didn't sit right with me, so I'm not regretting my decision to bail out of the situation, but it does help to explain some of it.

[jamoni]

"Sorry, I'd love to help, but I can't."
Most I would have done would be to call a cab for him.
Look at it like this: Even if he was legit, he obviously doesn't have his shit together, and I got no time for people who can't get their shit together.

[CrunchDog]

"Sorry, I'd love to help, but I can't."
Most I would have done would be to call a cab for him.
Look at it like this: Even if he was legit, he obviously doesn't have his shit together, and I got no time for people who can't get their shit together.

I would say the same thing. I think I help out as much as I can but to drive someone around that I don't know would be a little much for me. You are a much nicer person that I am. I would have probably let him use my phone and that's about it.

[TacAir]

Red flag #1 - Wife and kids at gas station. how did they get there and how did you get here?

Red Flag #2 - Needs a ride up to FIL that is just a couple of blocks away. Nobody home even after calling???? Time to drive off. Tell the guy to wait for pop - and let pop drive him/family/whoever home.

Second house, nobody there, then a Church and on and on. I commend the OP for being a nice person, really rare these days. But I would have asked a lot of questions before offering to help.

I used to get people try to stop me as I walked into work, early AM, and in a part of town that after dark I carry a pistol - in my hand.
"Hey, my wife is stranded across town and I need 5 bucs for gas..."
"If she's across town, how did you get here?"
"Ahhhh. Ya, she called me and..."

"How are you going to get the gas across town to her?"
It would go downhill from there. Oddly, the same slug worked the parking lot for months because some of my co-workers would give the guy a fiver...

Might have given the guy a quarter to use a payphone. As noted above, why give up your breakfast for a dunce?

Final question - is the guy really a neighbor? Or just a well dressed con man working the street?

[Jack Squat]

Jamoni, Yeah, I really should have, and I will if there's a next time. I just grew up in a pretty tight knit community, and then moved to a fairly rural area, so it's kind of my mentality to help people when they need it - something I really need to change now that I'm more or less downtown. What was supposed to be a 5 minute drive didn't really seem like that big of a deal, and I'm honestly a little bit of a sucker when someone mentions young kids.

TacAir - the gas station was right down the road. I can see it from my house Recalling a little more of the story now that I'm sitting here and replaying it, they were out of gas and he left his wallet in the house. He never asked me for money, which I never carry on me unless I'm going to a bar anyways. It was also just the two houses, and on the way to a third I pulled over at the church - that wasn't part of his plan.

I don't know if he's a neighbor or not -I've only met the ones directly next to me. He pointed out a house a couple down as his, and that side of my yard has a small treeline blocking my view, so I just took his word for it as I'm not able to see who actually leaves in the morning. He knew the area pretty well though, so if he doesn't live here he's in the area fairly often.

[CrunchDog]

I say props again for being so nice, but being as paranoid as I am, I'd follow up. Maybe go to the house he pointed to and look for him and ask if he made it all right. You could have just brought your community a little closer, so it could be a plus, but if I were in your shoes I'd probably follow up.

[CoTTer]

It sounded like you were being sized up man, at least when it came time to pull over and ask him to step out, you did so in a public area, not some side road. I myself am a paranoid person when it comes to ppl at my door, have had ppl try to bull rush their way in to rob me. Now when ever I open up my door, I don't open it fully, I place my foot against the door so it cannot be pushed open. I also have a shotgun in my hand that is hidden behind the door.

I would of done what other ppl said like.

Sorry, would love to help, but can't.
Let me call a cab for you.

Just some thing else, besides letting him inside my place and going any where with him.

[squinty]

Dude: don't give rides to strangers. Don't take candy from them either.

[Murph]

Dude: don't give rides to strangers. Don't take candy from them either.

Truth. He could have pulled a knife or gun on you once you're both in the vehicle, and we'd be hearing about you on the nine o'clock news.

"Drive to the ATM, you're withdrawing $500 for me."
"You like Mexicoooooo?"
"Pull into this abandon warehouse, I'm going to show you where the wild goose goes."
"I'm going to make your skin into a body suit."

[Regular Guy]

Funny, I got a ride in a State Park while walking with my son. I was picked up by a pastor and his family. I was CCW a Glock 29 and open carrying a Mora knife. No issues.

I introduced myself and my son and they responded in kind. They went on to invite me to their church and to lunch. Very nice folks.

Would I have done that anywhere else, probably not but while CCW in a State Park, sure.

[phil_in_cs]

"Would you like me to call you a cab?"
"Uh, OK"
"You're a cab"

[b.read]

Reminds me of a news story from my area about 6 months ago...

A fellow was asked by a stranger for a ride across town. The man obliged and the stranger got into the car. After a few minutes of fidgeting and acting strange, the driver pulled over at a car wash and told the stranger that was as far as he could taking him and to get out of the car. The stranger then produced a knife. The driver pulled out a handgun and the stranger took off on foot scared shitless. Cops found him, still on foot about a mile away...

I know it's easy to laugh at stories like this, but things could've gone really bad, really quick...glad things ended up OK with your situation.

[GentryMillMan]

I heard of a con like this once, The guy gives some sob story to get a ride. As soon as you leave his buddies kick in the door and rob you blind while you are on a goose chase across town.

[jamoni]

I heard of a con like this once, The guy gives some sob story to get a ride. As soon as you leave his buddies kick in the door and rob you blind while you are on a goose chase across town.

Damn, that never even occurred to me. That's slick.

[oldsoldier]

You went with what you thought was right. It worked out for you. Good on you, for being a good samaritan. But, I think the chances of something going awry far outweigh the help you offered. Its truly sad our society has come to this, but, its a fact of life.
Now, to rectify the situation, you can always go introduce yourself to your neighbors . That way, if they come knocking on your door, looking for a ride, you know if they are legit or not.
Ok, that may not be entirely practical, I know. I know who my immediate neighbors are, as most of them introduced themselves when we moved where we are now, and I watch the street on occasion. But, just because they are your neighbors, doesnt necessarily make them nice people. Bundy, Gacy, they both had neighbors....just sayin!

[brothaman]

Maybe I'm just cynical fucker,.. but I don't just do favors for people. I don't trust people in my home. I generally don't "help out" just to be helpful. I don't often even answer the door. Sure, I check to see who it is,.. but I don't often just open the door. Don't get me wrong, I'm not mean to people. I have friends and family and we help each other all the time. But,.. when has anyone you didn't already know just shown up at your door with good news and not wanting anything form you,... I'm just saying.

BTW: Notice how many people just open a door with out checking to see who it is or asking who's there.

[Velociryan]

BTW: Notice how many people just open a door with out checking to see who it is or asking who's there.

On that note, always keep your body (and if armed, weapon) clear of the door's path when you do open it. I've read of home invasions that begin with the bad guy smashing into the door as soon as it starts to open and knocking the homeowner down in the process.

[squinty]

OP you got lucky, apparently all that happened to you this time is that you got shamelessly exploited and manipulated into being a taxi service for the guy. A quick trip down the street turned into a prolonged series of visits to first one address then another. Who do you think he was really looking for? For what purpose? Even if it was a benign purpose - you still got roped into committing time and energy you would rather have spent on something else, doing this con man's bidding. But somehow I doubt it was a benign purpose. He was looking for a dealer, or looking to settle a score, or looking for someone holding. He was using you to carry out some sketch mission, and driving the car for him put you just a hair away from being an accomplice. Don't give rides to strangers, especially stranger with unconvincing overly detailed stories about why they need rides.

And he knows you can be suckered into giving rides now. Bet he shows up again, with another excuse, needing a ride or some other favor or loan. If he does, say no.

[oldsoldier]

BTW: Notice how many people just open a door with out checking to see who it is or asking who's there.

On that note, always keep your body (and if armed, weapon) clear of the door's path when you do open it. I've read of home invasions that begin with the bad guy smashing into the door as soon as it starts to open and knocking the homeowner down in the process.

A peephole is there for a reason! Both my front and back doors have them. I cant recall ever opening the door when someone was there without checking who it was first. If you dont know them, dont answer. Plain & simple. Stay safe!

[Gyrfalcon]

Too many things could have gone wrong on this one.
Caution is king.

A couple other dangerous scenarios:

Someone asks to use your phone. What to do: "Sure. Stay here, I'll be right back." Close and lock door. Retrieve portable phone. Give it to him to use outside. Two large angry barking dogs can facilitate security during this process. Letting a stranger into your home is simply a bad idea. Period. It's 2012, and that's the sad reality of the situation.

Another robbery trick: someone knocks on front door. Nobody will be there. What to do: keep front door secured. Immediately check your back door. Robbers often do this to secure a surprise entrance. Often, they work in teams, and have someone at the front while they have someone go to the back. Just another reason why it's important to be armed in one's own home at all times.

At a rest station: "Hey, my car has broken down just up the road, can you give me a ride/a ride to the gas station/a few dollars/all of the above?" Help in any way you can. Do not provide a ride. Honestly, the only time I'd probably give someone a ride is if the guy had blaze orange on and was carrying a rifle or shotgun.

Don't let your human kindness, willingness to help and common decency prompt you into letting your guard down. You are under absolutely no obligation to make a snap decision. Take the time to think. You have every right to do so. Nobody has a right to fault you for taking some time to assess the situation and ask questions. If the person gets angry when you ask polite questions or when you decline, firmly send him packing. Don't trust, and verify.

[brothaman]

BTW: Notice how many people just open a door with out checking to see who it is or asking who's there.

On that note, always keep your body (and if armed, weapon) clear of the door's path when you do open it. I've read of home invasions that begin with the bad guy smashing into the door as soon as it starts to open and knocking the homeowner down in the process.

A peephole is there for a reason! Both my front and back doors have them. I cant recall ever opening the door when someone was there without checking who it was first. If you dont know them, dont answer. Plain & simple. Stay safe!

True that, but a lot of people just don't check. And kids will open the door for anyone. It was hard training my wife and kids to check the peephole and ask who's there. With the kids,.. I just had to ban the little ones from answering the door altogether.

Another thing I've noticed, people will yell at their house dogs for barking when there's a knock at the door. Its the craziest thing I've ever seen. That dog is your first and best line of defense. A good house dog is weapon and cannon fodder all at once. Its job is to look out when you're not paying attention.

[jamoni]

BTW: Notice how many people just open a door with out checking to see who it is or asking who's there.

On that note, always keep your body (and if armed, weapon) clear of the door's path when you do open it. I've read of home invasions that begin with the bad guy smashing into the door as soon as it starts to open and knocking the homeowner down in the process.

People open the door for people they aren't expecting?
WEIRD.

[Crazy Wolf]

BTW: Notice how many people just open a door with out checking to see who it is or asking who's there.

On that note, always keep your body (and if armed, weapon) clear of the door's path when you do open it. I've read of home invasions that begin with the bad guy smashing into the door as soon as it starts to open and knocking the homeowner down in the process.

People open the door for people they aren't expecting?
WEIRD.

My current house's main door has a little glass window/door (behind some wrought iron/lookalike bars) at face level that you can open to chat with people before opening the actual door. The one thing I'd change about it, from a security standpoint, would be to mirror the glass more/keep enough of a light source outside that you can't ever see inside (although it does currently let you see the alarm panel, which is armed whenever the house isn't occupied, which probably serves as a deterrent).

Why is this feature not very common? It's far more secure than having your door framed by windows, as I see in a lot of more modern construction (specifically the McMansion style, but it seems to predate that by a decade or two as well).

[fourway]

I automatically make the assumption that any stranger asking for something is trying to play me.
Will occasionally play along a bit to get an idea of what they are up to, or offer something off script on the theory that when you force someone to improvise or bail you can learn something.