Anyone Have A Spare $750,000 To Buy A Pirate Ship?

by **Mailak** » Thu Jan 19, 2012 6:09 pm

I have about £1400 and whatever booze I have availabe in the house

by **Liam** » Thu Jan 19, 2012 7:53 pm

ZombieGranny wrote:I can offer a small chest of booty - gold rings, pearl necklaces, even a few pair of diamond earrings for you to loot; as well as homemade hooch.
Don't sail well, but I can be the woman who runs the local tavern when you sneak onto shore.

So you wish to be the Barrrrrrrrrrrmaid ?

by **ZombieGranny** » Thu Jan 19, 2012 9:51 pm

Darn right!
Have lots of friends (all ages) with the bosoms for the outfits.
LOL

by **Confucius** » Thu Jan 19, 2012 10:08 pm

Do I get to call you Brandy?

by **ZombieGranny** » Thu Jan 19, 2012 11:43 pm

Perhaps Lady Sally McGee?

by **wee drop o' bush** » Fri Jan 20, 2012 5:12 am

ZombieGranny wrote:Perhaps Lady Sally McGee?

Twinkles McFetridge?

by **KnightoftheRoc** » Fri Jan 20, 2012 6:12 am

I feel we should be thinking a bit more 'modern pirate' here. Besides the obvious technical advantages, it would cost a lot less as well- in fact, we could get quite a deal for FREE!
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons%20a/ab/US_Navy_Sea_Shadow_stealth_craft.jpg (couldn't link the pic, sorry)
details here: http://www.tgdaily.com/hardware-brief/5 ... -junk-yard (be sure to make note of the free tender barge also being offered- you know, in case we need to work on it, or just plain hide out on account of the monkeys getting out of hand during a port call.

Given that this is just one of several ships looking for homes, maybe the idea doesn't need to remain a lark- ZS could actually get one, and use it!

by **ZombieGranny** » Fri Jan 20, 2012 11:31 am

But - modern piracy will get you shot, and they don't wear the cool clothes!

edited to replace missing photo with similar one.

by **Berkem** » Fri Jan 20, 2012 12:25 pm

I would suggest to get one of those colombian cocaine submarines.Piracy from the underwater will make those somalians feel like loosers.

by **KJ4VOV** » Fri Jan 20, 2012 12:29 pm

Berkem wrote:I would suggest to get one of those colombian cocaine submarines.Piracy from the underwater will make those somalians feel like loosers.

If you want to do that then go right ahead. But I'll remind you that we're talking about using poo flinging chimps as boarding parties. Now, if you want to close yourself up in a long steel tube filled with poo flinging chimps, for days at a time, that's your choice. But when you come back out again please stay downwind... FAR downwind! :mrgreen:

by **Rev** » Fri Jan 20, 2012 12:31 pm

Aren't the Russians still selling diesel subs? Get one straight from them since that's where the Colombians probably got theirs. See if they can't fill it with extra aks or mosins while they're at it.

by **wee drop o' bush** » Fri Jan 20, 2012 12:38 pm

ZombieGranny wrote:But - modern piracy will get you shot, and they don't wear the cool clothes!

Seconded.

And they don't sail in one of these.

by **Berkem** » Fri Jan 20, 2012 12:39 pm

KJ4VOV wrote:Aren't the Russians still selling diesel subs?

As the matter of fact we do.No we didnt sell those to colombians ,they build them by themselves.With a little help of russian engeneers.

if you want to close yourself up in a long steel tube filled with poo flinging chimps, for days at a time, that's your choice

I will use sedatives.They will be in coma untill i need them.Then, injection of adrenaline and ...Arrrr!

by **12_Gauge_Chimp** » Fri Jan 20, 2012 2:26 pm

Berkem wrote:
KJ4VOV wrote:Aren't the Russians still selling diesel subs?

As the matter of fact we do.No we didnt sell those to colombians ,they build them by themselves.With a little help of russian engeneers.
if you want to close yourself up in a long steel tube filled with poo flinging chimps, for days at a time, that's your choice

I will use sedatives.They will be in coma untill i need them.Then, injection of adrenaline and ...Arrrr!

I thought the chimps were going to be put in trunks while we were underway on the ship.

Also, what does a diesel sub in good shape cost these days ?

by **KnightoftheRoc** » Fri Jan 20, 2012 4:12 pm

Lets keep in mind, while we dream of personal submarines and boarding parties, that the idea here is to act like pirates, not to commit acts OF piracy- there's a big, important difference. Like the difference between being killed, and.... not.

by **KJ4VOV** » Fri Jan 20, 2012 5:16 pm

12_Gauge_Chimp wrote:
Berkem wrote:
KJ4VOV wrote:Aren't the Russians still selling diesel subs?

As the matter of fact we do.No we didnt sell those to colombians ,they build them by themselves.With a little help of russian engeneers.
if you want to close yourself up in a long steel tube filled with poo flinging chimps, for days at a time, that's your choice

I will use sedatives.They will be in coma untill i need them.Then, injection of adrenaline and ...Arrrr!

I thought the chimps were going to be put in trunks while we were underway on the ship.

Also, what does a diesel sub in good shape cost these days ?

Oh yeah... Trapped in a steel tube full of drugged trunk monkeys. Now there's the vacation from hell. Come to think of it, that also pretty much sums up my last commercial airline flight...

by **shrapnel** » Fri Jan 20, 2012 5:30 pm

KnightoftheRoc wrote:Lets keep in mind, while we dream of personal submarines and boarding parties, that the idea here is to act like pirates, not to commit acts OF piracy- there's a big, important difference. Like the difference between being killed, and.... not.

And also the difference between Co-Cap'n Shrapnel taking the cat-o'-nine to you, and a subsequent keelhauling just for giggles, and... not.

:mrgreen:

by **shulatt** » Fri Jan 20, 2012 9:23 pm

Ok, we've established that Shrap is in charge of "the Captain's Daughter"....

by **Oneswunk** » Fri Jan 20, 2012 10:03 pm

shrapnel wrote:
KnightoftheRoc wrote:Lets keep in mind, while we dream of personal submarines and boarding parties, that the idea here is to act like pirates, not to commit acts OF piracy- there's a big, important difference. Like the difference between being killed, and.... not.

And also the difference between Co-Cap'n Shrapnel taking the cat-o'-nine to you, and a subsequent keelhauling just for giggles, and... not.

Can e cat-o'-nine be requested just for giggles? :mrgreen:

by **shrapnel** » Fri Jan 20, 2012 11:44 pm

You have to ask really nicely.

"First mate, have that (wo)man washed and sent to my cabin!" :lol:

by **Berkem** » Sat Jan 21, 2012 12:03 am

Also, what does a diesel sub in good shape cost these days ?

Vikipediia sais that the biggest one ever seized costed 2 millions.Its like Bentley in the world small submarines.So 750k will make a good budjet.Just imagine-Bug Out Submarine.

Trapped in a steel tube full of drugged trunk monkeys. Now there's the vacation from hell. Come to think of it, that also pretty much sums up my last commercial airline flight...

I will seal them in the compartment untill i need them.But torpedo is my choice.You cant scare a crew of a cruise liner with monkeys.They deal with drunk tourist every day.

by **KentsOkay** » Sat Jan 21, 2012 8:01 pm

One of the more impressive narco-subs:

http://www.wired.com/magazine/2011/03/ff_drugsub/all/1

by **colinz** » Mon Jan 23, 2012 12:16 am

Vicarious_Lee wrote:Wow, how did I miss this awesome shit?!

After reading the whole thing, I'm throwing in 250 bucks and applying for Assistant Chief Medical Officer.

I second this appointment. One of us should actually know what they are doing, and it's just plain wrong if it's the one in charge!

by **Berkem** » Mon Jan 23, 2012 3:49 am

If everyone donates 200$ there will be 3750 crew members.You guys shoud start with at least 2000$ per person.