Anyone Have A Spare $750,000 To Buy A Pirate Ship?

[Kutter_0311]

I will enjoy the waxing. All away party members will be required to remove all exposed body hair, and style head and facial hair into a striking style of some kind. Or wear a dashing/cunning/wild hat.

All away party members will also be required to rehearse and choreograph their portion of the suit-up montage. The music for the montage has not yet been decided.

This will not be SOP for Boarding Parties, sorry folks.

As Boarding Party Officer, all personnel engaged in boarding will maintain the following in readiness on their person:
-----------------------------------
-1 type of approved carbine
-6 loaded magazines for same
OR
-1 type of approved sidearm
-9 loaded magazines for same
OR
-1 type of approved stabby weapon
--------------------------------------
-Level 3 or 4 armor
OR
-Bear Sarc
OR
-body hair braided/woven to form protective garment
-----------------------------------------------------
-sturdy protective footwear extending at least 6" above the foot
---heels/platforms may not exceed 9"
---may be leather or PVC
---must extent to within 4" of pant leg/skirt hem, or 3" below apex of groin

[colinz]

As the Officer In Charge of Public Relations as well as Song and Dance routines, I will be in charge of the away teams.

ETA: We will NOT wear red. We will wear black Utili-kilts for the men, and "tactical" pants for the women. Tops are optional for both.

I'm in if I get a mini-kilt...

I've got $50 to add to the kitty, as well as a used boot, two feet of paracord and a rusty scalpel. I would like to be the ships surgeon.

[Kutter_0311]

I've got $50 to add to the kitty, as well as a used boot, two feet of paracord and a rusty scalpel. I would like to be the ships surgeon.

Any chance you can get a hacksaw, too? I don't think you can be the surgeon on a pirate ship without all the tools to amputate...

[colinz]

I've got $50 to add to the kitty, as well as a used boot, two feet of paracord and a rusty scalpel. I would like to be the ships surgeon.

Any chance you can get a hacksaw, too? I don't think you can be the surgeon on a pirate ship without all the tools to amputate...

I'd like to add to my offer, one rusty hacksaw frame (complete with 6 x bent/blunt blades), a hatchet with a chipped edge, several rusty files and a wooden mallet.

I can probably also organise a group-buy at the local body piercing place, or as the Surgeon, I could use a hammer and a nail.

[wee drop o' bush]

I can provide hoof knives, sheep shears & a range of veterinary medicines.
Doc Torr & myself can inspect clothing to make sure it meets minimum pirate standards of disrepute.

Colinz could as necessary supply ripped skirts & nipple clamps.

[colinz]

I can provide hoof knives, sheep shears, velcro gloves, gumboots & a range of veterinary medicines.

Colinz could as necessary supply ripped skirts & nipple clamps.

FTFY.

[wee drop o' bush]

I can provide hoof knives, sheep shears, velcro gloves, gumboots & a range of veterinary medicines.

Colinz could as necessary supply ripped skirts & nipple clamps.

FTFY.

Don't forget the vinyl chaps, breathing mask & long blue disposable, lambing gloves.

[KJ4VOV]

I have a few original muskets, but no boarding pistols
I do know where replicas are made. Me thinks I should be an armorer as well. I'm in for all things that go boom.

Hey, I thought I was the guy in charge of things that go boom ? I guess there's nothing saying we can't have a pair of guys in charge of things that go boom.

Oh, well, at least I've got the landing party of armed chimps to take care of.
Now to keep the little fuzzy bastards away from the rum.

And remember, tell 'em no looting this time!



Looters will be shot...

[KJ4VOV]

Oh, well, at least I've got the landing party of armed chimps to take care of.
Now to keep the little fuzzy bastards away from the rum.

Put saddles on the goats and sheeps and let them ride around topside like little cowboys?

ETA: Damn, me being in-charge of "hats-&-tassles", I'm going to have to procure some extra, extra small Stetsons and chaps.

Bicycles. The cleanup is a lot easier.

[KentsOkay]

I say we keep them in big wooden trunks, that way we can qualify them as "trunk monkeys"

[Kutter_0311]

Nice! I always thought every vehicle needed a trunk monkey!

Of course, a boat this size would require many...

[velojym]

I wonder what sort of gun crews they'd be. Lotta loose cannons, I think.

[wee drop o' bush]

Trunk monkeys are all well & good but a vicious wee woman with a cutlass & bin lid is better.

[RickOShea]

I wonder what sort of gun crews they'd be. Lotta loose cannons, I think.

The baboons have a lot of discipline:

[smokinbunta]

So..... seeing how in the ancient days... pirates had diseases such as...Ricket, scurvy, hepatitis, malaria, halitosis, scabies....

as long as these r not pre-requisites to be a crew member... ill throw in some PBR and whatever cash i have in my stash right now... so like.. $100

[KJ4VOV]

I wonder what sort of gun crews they'd be. Lotta loose cannons, I think.

The baboons have a lot of discipline:

The baboons are great snipers, but for shock troops you want the monkeys with AK-47s...

(damnit... can't get the YouTube tags to work)

http://youtu.be/GhxqIITtTtU

There's the link though.

[RickOShea]

[Kutter_0311]

Any monkey can fire an AK... ( ) Can they change mags and work the bolt as needed?

What kind of shot placement do they get? What kind of friendly fire discipline can they learn?

If Dave and Don won't pass them trough a MilCopp class, I'm not taking them on boarding parties.

[KJ4VOV]

Oh, well, at least I've got the landing party of armed chimps to take care of.
Now to keep the little fuzzy bastards away from the rum.

Put saddles on the goats and sheeps and let them ride around topside like little cowboys?

ETA: Damn, me being in-charge of "hats-&-tassles", I'm going to have to procure some extra, extra small Stetsons and chaps.

Saddles? They don't need saddles...



And I thought we agreed, no looting, even by the monkeys?

http://www.weirdasianews.com/2012/01/16/monkey-rides-goat-steals-chinese-farmers-crops/

[mule]

I have a few original muskets, but no boarding pistols
I do know where replicas are made. Me thinks I should be an armorer as well. I'm in for all things that go boom.

Hey, I thought I was the guy in charge of things that go boom ? I guess there's nothing saying we can't have a pair of guys in charge of things that go boom.

No no no, it takes at least two people to manage that stuff. I personally get into more trouble with 3. I mean do better with two extra people to help. Ahh, fond memories of 2010's pyro Christmas party... Shooting doubles out of mortar tubes... Such fun.

I will also supply my 1919a4 for strafing runs or to keep the fuzzy bastards away from the Rum... Not talking about the guys that have the hair to braid into their own armor...
I vote to keep the apes on a barge behind the ship. The little buggers sling too much poo, and they EAT their own poo. Yuck.

Who has the official money tally? Do we have a bean counter on this here ship???

[wee drop o' bush]

^^^That would be Shrapnel

[shrapnel]

Oi, I'm co-captain, not bean counter. I nominate... someone else... to be official records-keeper and Counter of Things.

[wee drop o' bush]

Oi, I'm co-captain, not bean counter. I nominate... someone else... to be official records-keeper and Counter of Things.

my bad

[duodecima]

I'll volunteer to count things, like money n stuff.

It's nothing I've ever been trained in, and I can only count higher than 20 accurately if I pay very very close attention. But I can do arithmetic in my head and I do my taxes on paper with a pencil, so that should work for a pirate ship, right? Besides, the boarding parties can be sent out to deal with any merchants who are, hmm, mistaken about our bill...