Because it's not a virus, you moron!

[Narshalla]

(A group story, if anyone else wants to join in. And now for the show . . . .)

Look, guys, I know you're not going to want to hear this, but it's going to start, and soon.

I have some info about the situation, and some happy little facts that explain a ton more than you'll hear on the news, but you can't hear it from me.

Towards that end, I've hacked her account (at least I assume that "Narshalla" is a female name,) and am doing my best to imitate her style of writing.

And yes, I've read MJOTZY, and if she didn't have such a strong password, I'd have used Kathy's account, instead, because everyone would read it if Momma Hen wrote it. Narshalla, you dolt, change your password, the one you have now is weak. I just pray that you aren't dumb enough to have this password for more than one account, but given how easy this one was, you probably do.

First and foremost, it's not a virus or a bacterium; instead, all of this is caused by a base prion that is supercharged by a toxin. Does everyone remember Mad Cow Disease? Good, then you know that a base prion is just a bit of misfolded protein. It's tiny, because this one seems to share a large part of its genetic code with the polio virus, with just enough in common with CJD to scare the hell out of us.

No, I'm not going to tell you who "us" is.

The second step of this process was the toxin that comes from, if you can believe it, Bufo alvarius, or the Colorado River toad or Sonoran Desert toad (they're the same same species.) Yes, that's right, the first true zombies were toad-licking stoners.

The third part of the equation, the part that triggered the process, was a rather esoteric combination of drugs. The fact that they were prescribed for a legitimate medical condition is no longer relevant; just know that the trigger mechanism caused the toxins found in the secretions of Bufo alvarius to supercharge, for want of a better word, the base prion that turned an otherwise harmless stoner into a horror-film monster.

As it is no longer relevant, I will not bother to name the drugs or the condition they were treating; it is entirely unlikely that the combination -- base prion, Bufo alvarius use, and medicine usage at correct dosages-- will occur again accidentally.

The next point I must convey is the process of transmission. Oddly enough, Hollywood got this one right; bites spread it, but blood and other body fluids do not.

Why? Because it's not a virus, you moron!

The base prion is one of those background contaminates that are too numerous to name, and without the trigger, the average human body fights it off with no problem. If the immune system is compromised, without the trigger, you'll die of something else first; the average cold virus is immeasurably stronger than the base prion. For all that it's weak, though, it is very pervasive. Roughly 92% of the blood samples we've tested have it in minute quantities, though no-one had high enough levels, as near as we can tell, to trigger the immune system's active defenses. We know that it is transmitted via bodily fluids; it appears to be present in some water supplies, as well. It's weak, but we've discovered that UV light will not kill the base prion, though bleach will.

How, exactly, is this relevant to you? Simple. This means that you are probably already infected with the base prion, and at levels that are low enough to escape detection from all but the most sophisticated tests. You might be infected at levels too low to detect even with all these sophisticated tests; one of the men who tested negative still turned, even though the base prion cannot be found in saliva with the trigger venom. As long as you avoid getting bitten, the base prion will stay at almost undetectable levels. If you, by chance, have HIV/AIDS and run out of your medicine, you'll die from an opportunistic infection, not the base prion, and you won't come back.

If you have a decent level of reading comprehension, you will notice that I used the term "trigger venom." That was deliberate on my part, and I'm glad you caught that, because it's important. Very important.

The trigger is a venom produced in the salivary glands of a zombie. If the skin is broken, it infects the flesh and eventually makes its way to the bloodstream where it effects a rapid change in the aforementioned prion. The prion then alters the proteins of the entire body, including the brain. Muscles are altered so that they no longer need oxygen; most nerve signals are shut down, though not the ones that control movement. Blood stops clotting, wounds no longer heal, and bruises continue to spread. This is good news for those that are still alive; enough wounds will incapacitate, even if they won't kill.

Just a hint -- as they no longer feel pain, zombies can be incapacitated via "death bay a thousand cuts," if you catch the reference.

Back to the subject at hand. The brain appeared, at first, to be one of the last organs to show the effects of the supercharged prion; though with further study, we no longer believe this to be the case. In every case study where we knew the time of envenomization, 115 to 125 minutes after, the subject always expressed exhaustion and proceeded to fall asleep; between two and six hours later, the process appears to be complete and subject, now a zombie, awoke with violence on what was left of its mind. Please bear in mind, though, every case we have had to study involved only a bite that reached the muscle; in the two cases where a vein or artery was punctured, the victim's blood did not clot and they bled out, despite, in both cases, the tourniquets that had been applied.

Another, rather obvious, alteration occurs to the salivary glands. They change to produce the venom that triggers the supercharging of the base prion that causes the zombification process that cause the changes to the salivary glands . . . And I'm sure you get the point.

Now, at this point, you're probably asking, "Who the hell is this person and why is he telling us this?" Well, that's two stupid questions, so you're not going to get an answer.

Instead, you should be asking, "Wait, if UV light does not the base prion, why is the base prion not found in saliva?" I will answer this one. Because while the base prion is not affected by UV light, the superprion is. Also, in the presence of the venom, all of the base prion turns into the superprion, so once the salivary glands start to produce the venom, the base prion converts, then gets hit by UV and dies.

One thing to keep in mind -- the superprion does not actually kill the person, so it is more than possible that the heart will continue to beat until the body loses blood to the point where there is nothing left to pump, at which point it may or may not stop. However, the body of a zombie is no longer warm-blooded, that is, it does not produce any of its own heat and thus will assume room temperature at the same speed a corpse would. Roughly speaking, this means that the core temperature will adjust approximately 1 degree Fahrenheit towards the ambient temperature every hour. This will happen faster in water.

So, how do you kill them? Shoot them in the head. Sadly, this is not the end of the process. The superprion will remain active until the cell it lives in is destroyed, so a severed arm, no longer attached to the brain, will still move, though with no purpose; fortunately, it can also no longer infect you. The next step involves destroying the body. Freezing allows water crystals to form in each individual cell, rupturing them, and heat destroys cells by altering the proteins to the point that they no longer function, and the superprion will die. The natural decomposition process takes a long time, but all evidence appears to support the conclusion that natural decomposition is effective, as well.

And lastly, can a person be infected by the superprions from gore splatter? Oddly enough, no, the superprion itself will not infect a person, not even when it gets into the mucus membranes and not even when it gets directly int the bloodstream. It requires the venom from the bite to trigger the base prion that already exists in each individual person.

But keep in mind, there are some things we do not know. So far, in every case we have seen, the skin has been broken. We do not know what will happen when a non-penetrating bite occurs.

We do not know what will happen when someone with cancer, HIV/AIDS, or any other systemic illness or disease gets bitten.

We do not know what will happen when someone with cerebral palsy or another nervous system disorder gets bitten.

We do not know what will happen, if, God forbid, someone were to decide to consume some of the contaminated flesh, as revolting as that seems.

And there you go. That is all I know, and now you know, and knowing is half the battle. Stay alive, people, stay alive.

And if Narshalla doesn't change her password to an unpredictable one soon enough, I'll try to let you know when the ball really begins to roll.

(Please direct all comments/questions that are not part of the story here.)

[Narshalla]

(Please direct all comments/questions that are not part of the story here.)[/quote]

I am so sorry, everyone, I have no idea how this happened, I'm sorry, I didn't post this! Mods, could you delete this thread, please?

I've been sitting with my MIL this week and she hates technology, so I didn't find this until today. Thanks for all those who PM'ed me, sorry I didn't answer, I'm okay, I just wasn't on-line this week.

And yes, I changed my password, thanks for reminding me, I hope this never happens again.

Mods, could you please delete this thread?

(Please direct all comments/questions that are not part of the story here.)[/quote]

[grumpydaysleeper]

It was only a matter of time before someone became careless. The research assistant in charge of administering and logging each and every test antidote got a little to close to specimen #213. You can guess the rest. Daniel Winchester, age 26, rising star in the field of research and mentored by Dr Greggory Adams, would be the one to begin spreading the toxin that would be the beginning of the end. As he walked by the security guard posted by the front door of the research facility, he began to feel the toxin as it invaded his blood stream. His only thought was to get home and bite a bullet while he still had time. Daniel was a dead man and he knew it.

[Narshalla]

Allah? God? Yahweh, or whatever those cursed Jews call their weak, pathetic god?

Pointless, all, even those silly silly Satanist and those crazy people who worship Cthulhu.

No, the man thought as he watched his colleague, Daniel Winchester, stumble out the side door of the lab. All of the false idols would fall, and soon. Dr. Adams did not want to become just another test subject, and indeed, it was the watcher's responsibility to ensure that he did not.

Dr. Adams, the watcher knew, lived alone, and Daniel Winchester did not lock his front door. It was easy for the watcher to follow him in, and while Daniel Winchester was fumbling with a cabinet, the watcher struck him on the side of the head.

The watcher gave Daniel Winchester a sedative, but only a small dose. The watcher did not want Daniel Winchester to die, but simply to sleep until the prion had had long enough to send Daniel Winchester into a forced slumber.

Two hours later, and the watcher sniffed Daniel Winchester's breath. Yes, the change had reached this far, and he was producing the venom himself.

The watcher used a hammer and chisel to remove several of Daniel Winchester's teeth. Each tooth got placed in its own separate specimen jar, each jar properly labeled and placed in a case. They looked, for all intents and purposes, to be the examples of of the dental implants that they were labeled to be.

The watcher very carefully placed the last tooth in a bag. He was heading for a PHX flight to New York, then to Paris, and then a short drive to London, but there was time for a little stop, first.

Those silly little self-indulgent brats at Occupy Phoenix would finally get a taste of reality, and, the watcher thought to himself, it would bite.

Enough, the watcher thought, I need to pay attention to these details, here and now. The back door was left open, and the gate to the street was almost shut, but not quite enough to latch. Daniel Winchester's would be recovering soon, and would need an easy way out.

[Narshalla]

Narshalla, you didn't change your password, you moron. Did you really think that adding your pretend age to the end of your old password would qualify as "making it stronger"? Especially when it's not your correct age.

Just to let you know, everyone, she's not 31 like she said she is, Narshalla is really 38. Vain nincompoop.

Also, it's started. Occupy Phoenix has spread outwards. At first, this was not surprise, as there have been predictions of impending violence for over a month now. It was the biting that clued me in. Humans tend to kick, hit, punch, and use weapons. Biting isn't something that adult humans tend to use in a fight situation.

After hearing about Occupy Phoenix, we did a head count, and we're missing four of our researchers. We have sent security to check out their houses, but given that the base prion changes to the superprion in less than eight hours and we haven't seen any of them in more than that amount of time, we feel our worries are justified.

Also, for those in California, watch out. CNN just interview a college student that came from Occupy Phoenix to Occupy Oakland with a vanload of his friends. Most slept through the trip, and some were still "asleep" in the van.

[Shanna_Redwind]

Hey Narshalla,

Why's this nut targeting you? Do you think it's random, or has he got some sort of connection to you? Have you had problems with any of your other accounts?

Venom...ACTUAL zombies? Really...

The nutjob's been reading this board a bit too much I think....

[Narshalla]

Hey Narshalla,

Why's this nut targeting you? Do you think it's random, or has he got some sort of connection to you? Have you had problems with any of your other accounts?

Venom...ACTUAL zombies? Really...

The nutjob's been reading this board a bit too much I think....

I have no clue why my account, but I changed my password entirely, so I don't think he'll do it again.

The weirdest thing is, did you hear about the riots in Phoenix today? Oakland already had ongoing problems, but Phoenix was weird . . . from peaceful to mob scene in no time flat.

I have to admit, this is probably the most elaborate joke I have ever heard of, you know?

I mean, the Colorado River toad is native to the Southwest, up to a little south of the greater Phoenix metropolitan area, but still . . .

The only joke I have seen that was this long in the making was one that I'm not going to tell you about because I'm pretty sure the statute of limitations hasn't run out yet.

[FrANkNstEin]

Uh-huh!

Heard about the Phoenix riots on the radio. Just a sentence or two, that´s already more then what you´d expect, after all: it´s on the other side of the globe. What got my attention was the little piece of information saying that there seems to be a lot of bite victims! Yah, really! People biting people, can you believe that?

So i fired up the computer to find out more about the riots. Coverage is so-so, all i could gather there is that it seems to be widespread and still spreading. Couple of fires burning and it seems to overwelm the city fire dept. quite a bit. They called for assistance by fire departments of the adjoining districts. There´s a report floating around indicating one of the crews actually got attacked by the rioters... Guess they don´t like having their fires put out... Not to forget the biting. It seems to pop up in quite a lot of online reports and blogs, hell, some even go as far as calling it a zombie outbreak. Nutcases.

It still sent me into overdrive, well not quite overdrive but it was the perfect excuse for me to go pick up some more ammo and food, mainly pasta and rice. Thrown in a couple sixpacks of water too. I meant to do that anyway, i´ve only did it a week or two earlier then i was expecting to do so. Also picked up six spare batteries for my flashlight. It uses those "123 cells" like some cameras do and they´re quite expensive, compared to other batteries. Well, the 90 or so lumens that little fucker puts out really makes up for the expense. It almost blinds you! In addition to the water already stored in the basement, i rinsed out some empty 2litre plastic bottles that had soda in ´em before and stacked them up in our small "broom room" along with our two 10 litre foldable canisters. Might end up filling them up before too long...

I also wandered around the house to check out my precautions. I haphazardly blocked two of our basement windows with some spare fence elements we have laying around, three elements for each window weighed down with pretty pebbles in sacks that where supposed to go into the garden and all the extra granite bolders that used to line our driveway before we put in three extra parking spaces. Don´t get me wrong, both of these windows already have a security bar in place. It´s only meant to drive burglars off though, a slim person could squeeze past these bars. It´s only a deterrent at best. I hope those steel fence elements will keep anyone from A.) shattering the windows in the first place and B.) keep them from easily squeezing in without moving the stuff and making a lot of noise.

Worse comes to worst, i have additional stuff to harden the entrances in the basement, like leftover OSB plates and other stuff, like old 1 1/2" fenceposts, almost 6ft long. I think i can rig up something out of that stuff if i need to. The main door is especially weak, half of it is made out of glass.... well, at least the rest of it consists of 2.5" of wood. Man, i should have gotten a safer door long ago, but it´s not a standard sized door unfortuneately. It´d cost an arm and a leg to upgrade that.

One things for shure: i´ll close all the blinds tonight on ground level. Or every night till this blows over. Can´t really do that now, it´d look very weird.
I´ll lock the interiour doors that shut off parts of the house too, if something comes in from the main door it won´t be able to stroll around too much. The living quarters will be sealed off from the entrance effectively by that measure.

I don´t really expect the feces to hit the fan and having said feces being flung right to my doorstep, but better to be safe then sorry....

Man, i really sound freaked out. Maybe i am. I even loaded up a few rifles in addition to the double barrel shotgun and stored them around the upper floor. Really wish i had an AR or AK or something. Gotta make do with a Lever action or two and a Remington pump in 5.56 that takes AR mags. Truth being told: it´s not that good of a gun but it seems to run reliable with brass cased ammo at least. I currently have a 20rd mag in the gun as it´s wieldier then 30 rounders, with three 30rd mags and the original 10rd mag sitting in a pouch next to it. The pouch is from an older guitar multi effect that has long since broken and been tossed out. Haha, very tacticool isn´t it? There´s a 5 shell carrier filled with buckshot on the buttstock of the shotgun and a 30rd bandolier with 26 shells of double ought buck, and 4 slugs. Two Brenneke rifled slugs and two old S&B brass /w steelcore slugs for penetration. Long since out of production. I´ve stashed away 50 or 60 of these when i had the chance, never know when they might come in handy....

Damn, i´m boring you guys with just another gun rant, i´ll stop it here. The girlfriends back from the hairdresser anyway, gotta talk to her about our plans on going out tonight.... I´d rather stay home as a precaution, but then again whatever lingers out there in the dark is still a ways off from us so my concerns are probably unneccesary...

cya fellow squaders, stay alert!

[Shanna_Redwind]

Narshalla:

Yeah, I heard about the riots, but I figure it's just a co-incidence. Or this guy heard something about them and decided to try to make a panic on this board. He'd love it to see everyone buzzing like bees about bugging out and stuff. I'm not too worried about it. Those riots are just a bunch of disturbers taking advantage of what was essentially a peaceful protest.

I mean, they've been rioting all over the world for the past couple of months Tunisia, Greece, Egypt ... what makes the Phoenix riots different? I even heard some stuff on the news about riots starting in Toronto over the night last night. That's about 2 hours from me, but I'm not concerned. People around here don't riot about anything.

I wouldn't worry too much about it, Narshalla. There's nothing going on here, just a bunch of malcontents making a mess of the city, and a nutcase taking advantage of that.

Frank:

You do sound pretty freaked out. Take it easy tonight. Go out and have fun and I'm sure that things will look better tomorrow.

[bigjimmy]

I'm IN Phoenix ... that is if you mean Phoenix, AZ ... pretty quiet in MY neck o the woods... haven't heard anything about riots... then again I'm kind of a shut-in

[Narshalla]

Okay, even weirder . . . New York started have problems last night, and St. Louis and Kansas City are reported to be having trouble today.

But you're right, Big Jimmy, it's probably because today is Halloween.

[Narshalla]

You'd think what with the snowstorm in NYC, things would be quieting down, but the unrest seems to be spreading.

One of my friends takes classes at Portland Community College, but she found out today that classes are canceled, no reason given.

Anyone else heard anything?

[Ike]

From my neck of the woods it seems like a media black out. At least thats what my moms calling it, she works for the army in there public affairs branch. She says that somethig doesn't smell right with how they are reporting it, they keep blaming the NYC stuff on those people marching against wall street. But hey we don't really worry about that kinda stuff down here in lower Alabama. But there was something interesting on the news today, seems a tourist coming down here for a cruse just wondered into traffic. Eye witnesses say it looked like he was chasing the cars. Now that's just weird, good thing I live in a gated apartment complex. Helps keep the nuts out. Oh and change your password every two weeks, keeps the nuts from messing with your stuff!

Have a good one
Ike

[Narshalla]

Okay, I'm not sure that this is related, but a big SciFi convention got quarantined yesterday at the convention center. Even weirder, it wasn't on the news at all, and the only way I know about it is because two of my friends are there and called me to let me know. If they're not back by tonight, I'll have to figure out how to get their kids off to school tomorrow.

If this is related . . .

[Ike]

Well if there is something going on it seems to be spreading, after yesterday's news about the nut running into traffic, there was a story of a whole cruse going "missing" in the gulf. Yea ok, how does a cruse ship going missing. I'm gonna start getting my hurricane stuff together and go make a run to my buddy's gun store. I don't wanna be caught blind on this.

Ike

[FrANkNstEin]

Everything seems quiet in my neck of the woods. Odd.

Now ok, we´re at least a little bit out of the way as in: no major airports nearby, and we´re between seasons so not many tourists show up. I´ve been busy with my job as well as some work on the house (we´re putting a new ceiling up in the living room, and isolate the ceiling and outer wall to lower our heating bill) so i didn´t pay that much attention to the news. Going slow though, my dad who´s helping me wasn´t all that well yesterday. The stubborn old guy wouldn´t tell me anything about it, but mom called me later and told me he could barely work. Turns out he´s down with the shingles!

I kept my eyes on the news of course, but couldn´t find any strange things happening that would indicate a shitstorm brewing up... could be said media blackout though. The only thing that caught my attention in the morning paper was the obituary notice of a mayor two towns over... A buddy at work who was aquainted with him said it was a suicide, but it smells fishy to me. A 50 year old, well liked and happy guy, mayor and member of the towns marching band... Committing suicide?
I´m staying alert. I also ordered some more batteries off of ebay and picked up some extra stuff while getting groceries.

[survivaljoe]

Welp, I'm dead. I'm a goner. I'm such a jackass...

I mean I posted to this sight a couple hundred times, lurked for years, I should have known....I was at McDonalds about 6 hours ago and this guy is in the parking lot and he's just weird but its no biggy. But he tries to grab some lady walking in and I think he's going for the purse you know.

Talk about ironic. I even called the B.O.B. dead. I guess for me it is. I'm trying to be a good guy and the fucker grabs my arm and bites me. I had my jacket on but it still broke the skin. Didn't bleed much though. I was able to hold him down till the cops came with the help of another witness. The guy wouldn't cooperate and they took him away. He was resisting so they cuffed him and put him in the car. He just kept yelling whenever they got close or tried to question him.

I didn't go to the hospital because I'm such a tough guy or whatever I'm just stupid. I'm so dumb. I found this thread a few days ago, I figured at least I could give folks the heads up.

I'm in downtown Honolulu, Hawaii. I got bit.

So long ZS.

[Narshalla]

survivaljoe, are you sure? I mean, the nutcase who hacked my account said that after about 2 hours, you'd fall asleep, and then four to six ours after that, the infection process would be complete?

At least, that's what it looks like he said?

Maybe he was wrong, though, or maybe you're immune or something? After all, he can't have been working with a huge number of bite victims, so it's entirely possible that there are parts of this that he didn't analyze.

Scientists aren't omnipotent, no matter what they think.

[Ike]

May be the "prion" didn't make it through your jacket? If the cloth wasn't broken who knows! I guess we will all know for sure if he ever posts again.

[Narshalla]

I forgot to mention -- my friends were let go at about midnight last night. Two people they know (but I haven't met yet) weren't though, and since I'm the only one with no landlord to object, I'm currently babysitting two spoiled poodles. Trust me, my cats are not happy!

I kid; the dogs aren't actually spoiled, they're just high energy, and I am not.

But I'm back down to just my own two kidlets, which is good; dogs are much less trouble!

[Shanna_Redwind]

Ok, maybe I'm wrong. I'm still up in the air about this being a huge hoax, but leaning more towards the it's true side. Still...Zombies?...Really?

But then there's some weird stuff going on in Toronto too. Nothing much is hitting the news, but some friends say they rounded a bunch of people up, claiming illegal occupation. But then maybe they just got sick of people camping out in the park, though they had said they weren't going to do anything to them for a couple of weeks.

I dunno. If there was something like this going on, don't you think they'd have it on the news? Warn people?

[Narshalla]

Okay, also in the news of the weird -- our house backs up to a ten acre lot with three houses on it. The guy who owns it has been trying to sell it for, well, since 2008. He was trying to sell it to a developer, any developer who would buy it. He did all the leg work; it's already sub-divided and everything.

Well, today three crews started fencing the entire lot; they've already laid out where the fence will go, cut down trees and brush and used a machine to drill holes. From what I can see, it looks like the fence will be very tall.

This is odd in three ways; first, a developer would never build the permanent fence first, it's too likely to get accidentally damaged in the construction process. Next, fences around here are usually six foot tall, with the last foot or so being a decorative lattice or something like that. This looks like it will be solid all the way up, from what I can see of the panels. And third, they're digging post holes, but they are also digging a trench for footers all the way around, that are 36" deep -- I checked -- and it looks like they intend to use cinder blocks somehow. That is not how fences normally look around here.

It makes me happy and sad at the same time. We have six-foot fences along the sides of our yard, but a low wire fence along the back. This let us see the wildlife that ran around back there. It is mostly birds and the occasional neighborhood cat, but still, it was nice to look at. I'm somewhat happy, though, because he is following the property line very strictly, and when the place sold and building started, I was going to have to put up a fence anyways. They wanted my permission to take down the wire fence and tie the new fence directly into my side fences, which I gave, so I'll have to keep the dogs in tomorrow.

Strangely, the house directly north of us burnt down today. It looks like the wife started cooking dinner, then went a took a nap while the stove was on, or at least that's what the fireman told me as I was waiting to get back to the house -- the firetrucks had the cul-de-sac blocked. She never woke up, and the house is now a tear-down. The husband is going to stay with relatives in Eugine for a while.

Another neighbor of ours was taken to the hospital during all the mess; he's diabetic and also on dialysis, and they couldn't wake him up. It was probably a diabetic coma, he'd had that happen before, but this time they aren't letting his wife, Natalie, see him. She's decided to camp in the hospital lobby, so we're taking care of her little cocker spaniel mix; Daisy is getting along quite well with Yin and Yang, the poodles. Yeah, that's right, someone actually named two standard poodles Yin and Yang. They (the owners) are really int the whole "new age" thing, or something, and have been feeding them a strictly raw diet. Luckily, they also stored several months' food for the dogs in their deep freeze, the the dogs' diet hasn't changed, even if their living quarters have.

I kink of wish I was the sort of person to take advantage; in addition to the freezers full of tough stew-quality meat, they have one filed with other stuff, and that elk backstrap -- tenderloin, the same cut that filet mignon is cut from -- that elk backstrap is calling my name. I think I'm going to guilt-trip them into giving me that as thanks for taking care of the dogs. Actually, that's a lie; I hate guilt tripping people, I'm just going to ask for it.

Yes, I snooped. Awful habit, i know, but I only looked in the freezers and a couple of the garage cabinets for the dogs' stuff.

[sql_yoda]

One little slip of the knife is all it takes I guess.

You'd think that all this time and energy focused on disaster prep and rebound would help a guy to exercise caution - you'd be wrong. All it took was a single tiny slip of the knife.

A man can spend years trying to please six and eight-tops but the best tables never make an impression - only the ones that complain stick in you like a stab wound. Did this one complain? You bet your ass they did. I didn't even get the customary 15% for a job mediocrely done.

It's not like a small cut was ever a reason to panic - we've ALWAYS just slapped a blue band-aid on it and told each other "stop being a pussy". Well I served that table and I fucking have to live with the consequences of not really thinking there was a pandemic infection on the loose. One tiny little cut with the knife the fat guy used on his steak, then put in his fat ugly mouth, and I'm sitting here about to die for what? A 6% tip? Fucking douchebag nouveau riche.

I remember the fat guy. He was sweating abnormally, even for someone as fat as him, before the table even ordered. When he opened his wallet to pay after the meal, I saw pictures of what I assume was his family. Very sad... but not nearly as sad as what happened next.

The fat fuck was holding his pen and his steak knife in the same hand, and not holding on well after three mixed drinks and two glasses of the house wine ( the wine thing was totally my fault - it's not fit for swill but they bought it on my reccomendation), when he somehow decided to get MS or CP or whatever the fuck trendy medical term for spastic assholes is now.

When he handed me the billfold, he cut my arm with the knife. It wasn't that deep but it showed up red and swollen almost immediately. Less than two hours later, that fat fuck was trying to - what else - break in through the back door and have his own "all you can eat" special - vacant eyes, same girth - but what really struck me with horror was that this fat, useless, obviously well-to-do gentleman had pissed his pants. We called the police and they took him away, but that wet crotch didn't leave my thoughts. After getting through dinner service I happened to notice that I was having trouble holding water too. I'm sitting here on the curb, with a big wet crotch-stain, that nobody seems to recognize or realize is an infection marker.

On the curb, waiting for my ride to show up - wondering if I will actually make it home to my fiancee and her two supreme shithead children - and also wondering if - given all the news stories in the last day or three - if my loved ones would be better served if I just drowned my sorry ass in the hot fryer. I could probably hold my breath long enough to make it faster than succumbing to what the bloggers and news are now calling "the illness".

[Narshalla]

Sql_yoda, are you sure? I mean, that's not like any of the symptoms that the nutcase who hacked my account listed?

I mean, maybe he was just normal-crazy, not a zombie, and maybe this is something else or something? I don't know. Things are getting even stranger around here.

The footings for the fence have been poured, and I was wrong about what type of fence it is. It's going to be entirely cinder block, with re-bar re-enforcement, and concrete filled.

The wood panels I saw are gong to be on the outside, so it looks normal and probably so the neighbors don't complain.

Things are crazy again here. My friends' apartment has been condemned for some reason, and they have no where else to go and not enough money for a hotel stay of any length, so they, their two kids, and three cats, two fish, and paranoid cockatiel are staying here until they can get something else lined up. Unfortunately, this probably won't be until after thy can get their deposit back, and who knows when that will happen, because the leasing office was condemned, too.

At least Kris, their oldest, managed to sneak back in and grab a couple of bags of clothes for them. Smart kid, he just cleared out drawers and dumped the clothes into trash bags instead of trying to sort through everything. Though it might be that he didn't want to have to sort through women's underthings that prompted his wholesale gathering.