DUMBEST F*&@king thing you've ever heard NOT ON THE ZS FORUM

[Charra]

I go to the range, kid is sitting there shooting his PSL, I tell him "nice looking PSL."
He turns and goes "it's a Dragunov, I used this in Iraq, the army let me keep it."
Didn't even bother to touch that one.

I go to trade with this guy, I'm under the impression I'm trading my Remington 700 for another AK, I get to his house and I'm looking at the AK and he goes "you sure you want that? I got this other rifle," and produces from the other room a cheapass Savage in .223.
Seller: This one retails for $200 higher.
Me: No it doesn't, that's worth $400 max, no thanks.
Seller: But, I was thinking you'd pick it over that.
Me: I don't want that, I want the AK.
Seller: I don't think I can part with it, sorry.
I set the AK down, walked silently out and left, after traveling 90 MILES TO THE FUCKERS HOUSE, I was so pissed.

Guy: AK's are for fags, AR's are chick magnets
Friend: That's why you're single and I have a girlfriend?
Guy: No you don't.
Friend: Honey, come over here.
Then his girl came over, and the guy just kind of shut his hole.

"Mikhail Kalashnikov has been president of Panama for 45 years"

Just last week, I'm talking to a guy about how I'm part Serbian and they were once part of Yugoslavia.
He goes "Yugoslavia is getting powerful man, I heard they were going to invade Brazil over a border dispute."
I just stared at him for a second and went back to drinking my beer.

"I open carried at an NFL game"

This isn't very stupid, but it's pretty damn funny, this guy comes over to me and my friend at the bar, we're sitting in a corner and he starts talking about his various excursions into Africa, Haiti, Panama and Cuba, all of it somehow related to fighting the Tupac Army.
"I was once a conceal carry kind of guy that went about his business never bothering anyone, but after a brush in with the Tupac Army in Uganda during a period of soul searching that turned out badly for my penis, I decided it was time to step up my game, I had vengeance on my mind, so I bought an AK47 pistol called a Draco, I just applied for an SBR stamp, it's gonna be pretty sweet, I can hide it in my backpack along with about 8 magazines, my god the Tupac Army is gonna pay, I've been fighting those bastards since 2006"
I wasn't sure what to think, he didn't come off as insane, he seemed like he was joking, but there was an underlying seriousness about him.

[books]

HKTD, you’re even more right on than you might know. I don't practice law, but I did go to law school.
I remember in torts class we studied a group of civil law cases that all revolved around the idea of "spring guns". In the field of jurisprudence, a spring gun isn't what you might expect. It's any firearm rigged to fire automatically without any human intervention after setting it up.

The court decisions have been very clear about this whole concept: it's a wildly irresponsible idea and is dealt with very severely. You think you've got a legal fight on your hands shooting an intruder in self defense? Chafe at the idea of having to prove reasonable fear of imminent harm to person or property? Think its common sense that the "no reasonable retreat" doctrine shouldn't apply inside one's own home?

Well good f-ing lucking getting anywhere legally defending yourself if someone gets hurt by a gun you've rigged to fire indiscriminately once it's "sprung". Whether by a spring catch or an infrared sensor, it falls under the same legal doctrine and the court decisions are very clear on this (as they should be, IMHO). That moron's idea of actually trying to build one of these things is stupid in ways that almost defy description.

The only silver lining to this is that if the human race is lucky, this idiot will quickly qualify for a Darwin Award while testing it.

Or, more likely, he'll discover that designing and building automated electromechanical systems is difficult even when you're not a flaming moron, and give up. Stupidity does sometimes self-limit before it hits the Darwin threshold.

Well, technically its trivial to build a system that can automatically shoot a target that moves across its field of vision. A lot of CSC students did sentry guns as their senior projects because they have a big "wow" factor. The trick of course, is making it so they're smart enough to know what they should be shooting at (most people; myself included, never manage to get anywhere near an acceptable % of false positives/negatives)

For "low tech" you could probably rig up some cheap sensors from Mouser and have a servo pull the trigger on a shotgun.

I did a variation on this for my senior project in computer science land. Used two webcams to identify and fire (airsoft) at targets. End goal was to only shoot at humans carrying "rifles." It kinda worked. Divide the field of vision into a bunch of squares, screen out background movement (windy leaves, etc), and look for movement. After you detect movement, turn it into a bunch of blobs. If there's 1 or 2 big blobs with a smaller blob on top then its probably human (legs/torso and head). Look for a visible rectangle that crosses the blob (rifle)...then just use binocular vision to move the rifle and fire.

It kinda worked. Always detected humans walking normally in steet clothes. Sometimes you could crouch and it would ignore you. If you crawled or belly-crawled -- then it always ignored you. It also had a lot of misidentifications on the rifle part (shirt patterns would be false positives, as would carrying a lot of stuff).

Cammo didn't affect human identificaton, but it really messed with rifle detection.

Sentry guns like that are pretty popular projects for computer science folks interested in embedded systems because they're simple and have a huge "cool" factor.

[squinty]

And this may not count because it wasn't in person, but I remember seeing a "COPS" knockoff show, filmed in Atlanta, where a policeman arrested a young man on a bicycle and rummaged through his bookbag to find an unloaded HiPoint and a box of ammo. The officer asked the young man where he'd purchased the ammo, and the young man said "Wal-Mart."
The officer then said "now I know you're lying because these are Hollow Point Bullets, they don't sell these to anyone but police and military."

I've seen this as well. It's especially silly because it's illegal for the military to use expanding ammunition. I've talked baout that clip to other people before. Too funny.

... Although I'd hate to be that poor kid.

Haha somehow I don't think I'd be overly upset to be arrested for having JHP's on my person. I'd be laughing too hard to have a problem with it.

He was arrested for carrying a concealed weapon, and for a small amount of marijuana. Don't know if it stuck or not, the pistol was unloaded and the ammo was in a cardboard box iirc. No ccw. Also iirc he consented to a search of the bag.

[KnightoftheRoc]

I don't have a lot to offer here, that hasn't already been posted in nearly the exact wording I heard it in. HOWEVER-

When going for my Hunter Safety Course (NYS req'd for a hunting license, big or small game), we had the Instructor explain to us how a bullet functions- the firing pin hits the primer, WHICH HAS A DROP OF NITROGLYCERINE IN IT, and that lights off the gunpowder. I shit you not, nitro-freaking-glycerine, he said. If that were the case, storing ammo would quickly become a short term hobby, as the nitro degraded and exploded on it's own, which it's been known to do. Even as a know-nothing teenager, I knew THAT was wrong, but wanting to pass, I was smart enough to STFU, and resisted asking how a .22LR worked, since it had no primer...

This, from a certified, licensed instructor who I happened to know was a former US Marine.

Lesson here- don't drop your ammo, or it's gonna go off!


hmmm- I wonder if he'd ever fired a tube magazine rifle, like a 30.30....does that mean it would be a full auto?

[LowKey]

This comes from a former friend of mine,

"Dude, you don't need to waste money on 7.62x54r ammo, just use .30-06 rounds in your Mosin. The 7.62x54r is just the Russian name for .30-06. They are the same round, it'll be fine."

This was followed by me smacking him upside the head.

Serious question here, because it's come up more than once. Can guns chambered for 7.62 NATO fire the 7.62 x 39 bullet?

(Bear in mind that I am not going to attempt to fire a Russian bullet through an FN FAL. I just want a short answer to give.)

NO. 7.62 is the diameter of the bullet. 7.62x51 =7.62Nato.= .308 Winchester (roughly, there are significant pressure differences between military and commercial loads) There are several other .30 rounds that use the 7.62 designation including 7.62x39, used in the AK and SKS and 7.62x25 used in the Tokarez and CZ 52 and of course 7.62x54r used in the Mosin

...expect that it's also a "yes" if they buy a chamber adapter. For example, one is sold through Cabela's.
I have ZERO experience with them, so YMMV greatly.

[Angrypirate]

Well... No.

7.62x54r, 7.62x39, .303 Brit and heaps of other 7.62mm rifles actually use projectiles .310-.311 in diameter, if you run those through a rifle with a .308 bore you are looking at serious pressure issues. Not to mention .30-06 has a much longer over-all length than 7.62x54r. I don't mean to sound nasty, but I don't get the fascination with chamber adapters and all that shit. Just buy a rifle in a calibre you like and shoot that fucking calibre through it.

I had a great conversation with a guy the other day. First, he told me that I needed to give my shitty old rifle to his gunsmith friend to refinish, because this guy is apparently the best gunsmith in Sydney. The rifle in question was my girlfriend's all-matching M38 Swedish Mauser. The finish his 'gunsmith' friend was suggesting was polyurethane. The friend had the grace to walk away when I told him polyurethane finishes weren't commonly available until DuPont brought them out in the 1950s, over a decade after my rifle was made.

Then the original guy said to me "You really should get rid of that old shit, a young bloke like you needs a real rifle. Like my Remington here. You see this scope? Its a Nightforce. Its worth over $4000. You should buy one like it, then you'll start winning out here! I've commanded young men like you back when I was in the Army Reserve, I know what a young bloke needs for a rifle. Young blokes like you really should join the army, it teaches you how to be a man." He proceeded to ignore me when I told him I was already in the army

I then won the 300m Service rifle single snap match with my iron-sighted 1916 No1Mk3*. He didn't place. He doesn't talk to me anymore

[MrMendigo]

.22 lr's are the most deadly because they bounce around inside of you doing terrible damage.

[98pointsix]

" the shoulder thing that goes up"

" yeah well how many Nazi's has a Glock killed?"

" 5.56 was designed to wound not kill"

"922R"

[RonnyRonin]

my co-worker swears up and down that his dad (a marine in 'nam) was told that AK's were specifically designed to wound and not to kill.

I don't doubt he was told that, but if everything they tell you in the army is true.....

my roommate has some gems too (mostly about his own skills, even though he admits he's never fired an assault rifle)

while watching the "a-team"
"if you can't hit that with an ACOG, you're a horrible shot"
opening scene, Face, dangling one-armed from a rope on the side of a moving truck, at a moving target, with an aimpoint probably some can, but me or him? not a chance.

[RonnyRonin]

almost forgot another room-mate comment (while showing me his cornering technique with his g36 airsoft gun):

"the best set up I've seen is an ACOG with a reflex sight on each side for leaning around corners"

(as in lean left, use left reflex, lean right, use right reflex) it took me 5 or 6 trys to explain why multiple optics were for different ranges....

[LowKey]

Well... No.

7.62x54r, 7.62x39, .303 Brit and heaps of other 7.62mm rifles actually use projectiles .310-.311 in diameter, if you run those through a rifle with a .308 bore you are looking at serious pressure issues. Not to mention .30-06 has a much longer over-all length than 7.62x54r. I don't mean to sound nasty, but I don't get the fascination with chamber adapters and all that shit. Just buy a rifle in a calibre you like and shoot that fucking calibre through it.

Not trying to sound nasty either, but I think you misread his question.
His question-

Serious question here, because it's come up more than once. Can guns chambered for 7.62 NATO fire the 7.62 x 39 bullet?

You can fire a 7.62x39 (7.89 mm/0.311 in dia, which normally has a max chamber pressure of 51.5k psi) through a rifle chambered for .308 Win using a chamber adpater (7.8 mm/ .308 in dia, with a normal max chamber pressure of 62k psi) isn't likely to be a major issue. I'd expect accelerated barrel wear, but I haven't heard of any catastrophic failures.
In general I do agree with you. Buy a weapon chambered in the caliber you intend to shoot.
But some people seem to like adapters in order to keep the ammo cost of practice down, hence the popularity of .22lr adapters for the AR-15 family of rifles.

I will say that just because one can do something does not mean one should do that thing.

[Angrypirate]

I'm always happy to learn something new

[LowKey]

I'm always happy to learn something new

Me too, and it seems to happen more and more as I get older.

[MaconCJ7]

I know this is supposed to be about guns, but the dumbest thing I ever heard was a little off topic. This was back in high school, which was several years ago. My buddy was coming out of the cafeteria with a burger and some milk. This communist heathen walked up to him, pissed because he had the audacity to make his own choices in life, and makes this wonderfully bold statement: "Did you know a cow had to die for that?". While I was busy with being confused about the words that came out of her mouth, my buddy had a little quicker wit: "I sure as hell hope so; I would hate to see a cow walking around with a chunk missing out of it's ass.". And we pressed on.

Not gun related, but something that has stuck with me over the years.

Gun related, I've heard the normal anti-gun banter that somehow continues to thrive. I've always told facts to dispel the unfounded rumors, and have successfully gotten through to a few people. To the rest I will forever be a crazy bastard, but I'm okay with that. Some folks are stuck way too far in their own minds to come out and broaden their horizons.

[the_alias]

Of course, this is also the guy who says that unless you touch your knees when you do situps, or touch the floor when you do pushups, you're not really "doing anything".

Sorry for the derail but if your chest doesn't touch the floor you AREN'T doing proper strict pushups with a full range of motion. So you will get less benefits. If you are worried about this, do no hand pushups. I guarantee you will feel a difference

Just sayin.

[Oneswunk]

Just last night. Had a friend over who just got into firearms. We're in my basement chatting wile I go through some ammo.

Him, "im not going to tell anyone but those short .22s are just as illegal as suppressors if not more cause you don't need a suppressor to make them quite". He also informed my that you can only buy cans, sbrs, sbs, ect after you get a federal restricted firearms licence and that is $8000 a year.

Took some good time on the computer and showing him some atf forms I have sitting around collecting dust to convince him he was wrong.

[Tribunal Power]

That you can hold a bullet in one hand and strike the primer with the other, effectively firing the bullet. Someone I knew said he saw it in a movie or on TV or something.

I told him all about how a relative of my wife actually tried it, and that he's now two and a half fingers wiser.

[Phoenix David]

As a physicist, I must disagree with your assertion regarding the non-sphericity of ungulates. The spherical cow model is widely applied throughout physics, engineering, and numerous other disciplines[1] and has recently been empirically verified[2]:

As we know that ungulates generally share a common morphology, we may therefore conclude that a significant portion of large game animals are, in fact, spherical[3].

The problem, I think, is that your hunters are only educated to the undergraduate level. Postgraduate education would make such reasoning as this second nature.

[1]Kirkman, T. W. (1996).
[2]Szöllősi, G. (2009).
[3]

I have no clue what the hell you just said.

Cows are round?

[Grey Mann]

It's an old joke; physicists approximate a stereotypically large amount of objects as perfect spheres when doing the math.

[Krustofski]

I have no clue what the hell you just said.

Cows are round?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spherical_cow

Just last night. Had a friend over who just got into firearms. We're in my basement chatting wile I go through some ammo.

Him, "im not going to tell anyone but those short .22s are just as illegal as suppressors if not more cause you don't need a suppressor to make them quite". He also informed my that you can only buy cans, sbrs, sbs, ect after you get a federal restricted firearms licence and that is $8000 a year.

Took some good time on the computer and showing him some atf forms I have sitting around collecting dust to convince him he was wrong.

You know how that sounds to me? Like a day before he visited you, he ran into a mall ninja and/or gun store owner who attempted to teach him "everything about guns", since he was new to firearms.

[Oneswunk]

No thats what a police officer friend told him.

[Sckitzo]

It's especially silly because it's illegal for the military to use expanding ammunition.

Not 100% true, Hollow Points and those stupid fragmenting rounds can be used in CONUS, but outside of CONUS and especially in the AOR you are correct.

OT

Besides the birdshot one, which I seem to hear from 1/5 people I talk about shotguns with I'm going with ".22's are the best gun ever since Snipers were using them in 'Nam and the Mafia uses them to execute people!" Hear that one from some idiot I was working with.

[KentsOkay]

It's especially silly because it's illegal for the military to use expanding ammunition.

Not 100% true, Hollow Points and those stupid fragmenting rounds can be used in CONUS, but outside of CONUS and especially in the AOR you are correct.

OT

Besides the birdshot one, which I seem to hear from 1/5 people I talk about shotguns with I'm going with ".22's are the best gun ever since Snipers were using them in 'Nam and the Mafia uses them to execute people!" Hear that one from some idiot I was working with.

Ive heard of the silent execution with .22's by the mafia rumor.

OT 500 S&W will kill God.

We all know that's what Glock 20's are for.

[Sckitzo]

It's especially silly because it's illegal for the military to use expanding ammunition.

Not 100% true, Hollow Points and those stupid fragmenting rounds can be used in CONUS, but outside of CONUS and especially in the AOR you are correct.

OT

Besides the birdshot one, which I seem to hear from 1/5 people I talk about shotguns with I'm going with ".22's are the best gun ever since Snipers were using them in 'Nam and the Mafia uses them to execute people!" Hear that one from some idiot I was working with.

Ive heard of the silent execution with .22's by the mafia rumor.

OT 500 S&W will kill God.

We all know that's what Glock 20's are for.

Yeah, I've heard both sets of rumors from multiple people before, I'm sure there may even be some truth behind em, but the thought process behind equating it to mean the .22's are the "best round ever" just makes my eye twitch.