***ZS Homework*** Raising the Zombie Awareness

[jamoni]

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to steer at least three normal conversations around to zombies. Bonus points for getting someone else to bring up zombies!

[Sage]

But I already do that.

[noncyr]

Do online conversations count? If so, i've infected a few forums at the post dispatch.

[Joe Ghoul]

Mission accepted.



If I can get anyone to talk to me.

[kyle]

This one of my favorite hobbies.

A few of us have been doing that on the stltoday.com forums for a while. I do it to co-workers and with random people I run into all the time.

I carried a conversation with my eye doctor about this for about 8 minutes by by creating a segway to it from a conversation about laser surgery.

The art of it is to sloowwly change the conversation with tact so not to jerk the topic of the discussion away from its origin too fast. Otherwise, you might scare your prey away. Be sure to keep a straight face and talk very matter-of-factly the whole time.

Noncyr is damn good at it. Hey noncyr, you should give these guys some examples of your zombie-sequitor skillz.

[noncyr]

SUre...

Coworker: Hi Chris
Me: Talk about zombies or I'll fucking kill you!!!! (metaphorically speaking)

[kyle]

SUre...

Coworker: Hi Chris
Me: Talk about zombies or I'll fucking kill you!!!!

Wow. It's an art form.

It takes years of training.

[michelle]

My coworkers and my knitting circle already think I'm insane because of the zombie thing. Other than them, I don't really talk to many people that aren't already aware of the zombie menace. I suppose I could start bringing it up while grocery shopping.

[jamoni]

I walked in on a group of my employees discussing whether I really believed in zombies or not! Some of them where like: "It's creepy. I think he really thinks they're real. He owns guns." I laughed my ass off. A couple of the smarter ones got my back though. "It's just a joke, dumbass."

[michelle]

I walked in on a group of my employees discussing whether I really believed in zombies or not! Some of them where like: "It's creepy. I think he really thinks they're real. He owns guns." I laughed my ass off. A couple of the smarter ones got my back though. "It's just a joke, dumbass."

That's awesome! If only I could get my coworkers to talk about me like that.

[jamoni]

On monday I ask them how their weekends went, if they had fun, and if they saw any zombies. On friday I tell them to have fun and give them lectures on how to recognize zombies. Of course, by Greg B's definition of Zombie, they qualify themselves. The best part is is that I am their direct supervisor, and they think I'm nuts. My boss thinks it's hilarious.

[Chris]

Some of my fellow student doctors have seen the ZS sticker on the back of my car and have read over my shoulder as I was posting to the forum while in the library. They already think I’m a nut because of some of the comments I make on a daily basis. You gotta remember, I’m in with a bunch of health and science geeks. Sometimes you have to look around a little and wait a few hours before someone with a sense of humor passes by.

I simply tell them; "Look guys, just don't think about Zombies....when it happens, I know some folks who'll take care of it."

They just don't get it. I get some really strange looks.

I’m amazed at the number of people who don’t get it. That includes some of the “drop-ins” who have posted on this forum a few times and have promptly left. Come on folks, this is easy. As Kyle is so fond of saying, “If you’re ready for a Zombie attack, you’re ready for anything. And it’s much more fun than Tornado Squad.”

[Jonas]

My bestfriend and I used to talk about zombies constantly. We'd come up with all kinds of hypotheticals and what gun we would choose. Then we'd talk about what gun we'd choose if we were locked in a building with 5 mandrills and a gorilla and all of them wanted to kill us. Those were good times. He always picked an mp5, I always picked a spas 15.

[*Mike*]

Done, I already had this done at the beginning of summer, I found if I talk about zombies enough, then my classmates will ask about them. Plus one guy I talk with is the one who let me borrow Dawn and got me started with zombies.

[noncyr]

This morning:

CoWorker: Damn that new door in the service hallway is heavy.
Me: Yeah, either the hinges are to tight or they used the wrong kind of wood.
CoWorker: I guess it's good that the wind won't open it, but it's hard to open when your hands are full.
Me: Yeah, but it'll be a good defense against zombies in case of an outbreak.

[raptorman]

I do it every day. Thousands of visits to raptorman.us most surely prompt some zombie talk.

[noncyr]

Lunch at chinese buffet I go to wayyyyyyy too much...

Me: Hi!
Mexican Waiter at Chinese Restaurant: Hello my friend. I'll put a soda and chopsticks on your table.
Me: Thanks. Tell me if you see any zombies back there too.
MWACR: Okay my friend...

Of course, by now, he's used to me saying shit like this to him. When he takes his citizenship test, he's gonna wonder why it doesn't mention zombie squad though.

[ghostface]

My girlfriend told my family about the zombie thing, so now whenever I go to visit my parents my dad brings it up. It's cool though. Deep down I think he thinks it's sweet that I'm not normal.

[*Mike*]

I do it every day. Thousands of visits to raptorman.us most surely prompt some zombie talk.

It does.
When I was on vacation, my mom even brought it up while we were hiking, which creeped me out, and she even watched Night with me a while back.

[kyle]

Talking to a financial professional this afternoon:

Agent: "Just keep in mind the posiblilty of dangerous toxins."
Will: "It won't be a problem."
Agent: "Some of these older buildings in that area still have asbestos.
Will: "Yeah. We'll also have to watch out for lead paint, zombies, and ancient bury mounds in the area."
Agent: "Of course."

[jamoni]

Someone left a leaflet on my porch, "inviting" me to "Accept the Gospel of Jesus Christ, Attend Berea Temple," and to let them pray for me:
"Let us minister to you personally through prayer. Use this form to submit a prayer request to our Wednesday Sanctuary Prayer Meeting. Just cut this page off and mail it to the church. The church address is on this brochure. We will pray specifically for your need. We will notify you by mail the day we prayed for your need."

My response?
"Please pray for success in the fight against the walking dead. With the help of God, Jesus, and a dozen well-armed goth kids, I'm sure the Zombies can be driven back to hell, where they belong. Praise Jesus (unless Jesus was a Zombie.) Please notify me when you pray for the destruction of the Zombies."

[Jonas]

Goth kids are sad cause they don't have any zombies to kill and once they did they'd become so emo that they would pee tears and rock out to dashboard songs.

[kyle]

Goth kids are sad cause they don't have any zombies to kill and once they did they'd become so emo that they would pee tears and rock out to dashboard songs.

I think you're broken.

[JMalone]

I've been doing that since 2001. I have, what, 25-35 people in my school alone who know what a zombie is, how to kill it, and who to come to (me, who will then report it to you).