The Gray Man: Or How To Be Invisible:

[Y.T.]

Y.T. I cant see you blending into any sized crowed.

hard to believe, I know, but I'm actually pretty good at blending when I need to. city living will do that, as will moving a whole lot. being able to recognize patterns quickly helps too. knowing how to manipulate my appearance is a plus.

I've had to become more socially adaptive than probably most people. I can "pass" at a dirt bar or an ivy league dinner. I once had to spend an entire weekend with ultra-conservative, right-wing, upper class, mostly middle age republicans and they had no idea I was some artsy low income freak with totally opposing views and a lifestyle they'd probably find appalling. I just got the "my, she was charming" comments.

I can't do it as well when I'm "off" due to fatigue or stress or illness, but you can pretty much drop me anywhere and I'll be able to talk to people and not come across as an outsider or an undesirable. The exception, of course, is when I'm physically too different. Then I try to determine if it's best to be gracious and appear non-threatening or non-offensive, to work the novelty angle so people feel an interest in your well-being, or to try to set a "don't think about fucking with me" impression.

It helps if I have some advance notice, it's harder when I'm coming from a totally opposite environment and have to try physically blend on the fly.

[raptor]

Do not make eye contact!

Avoiding eye contact is a great way to get mugged too.

... there is no black & white "don't ever make eye contact" rule...(snipped for brevity)... It depends on context.

Personally I agree that there is no hard and fast rule about eye contact. Nevertheless if I am in doubt I will make eye contact and let the person know I am making eye contact.

However, IMO if there is a hard and fast rule I would say that if you are on the street in the US and you see people sizing you up, a lack of eye contact is likely to be perceived as submissive and hence mark you as an easier target. I believe you really have to read the people and the situation. The funny thing is by reading the people I inevitably make eye contact.

[raptor]

A recent thread reminded me about being a gray man. It is one that should be seen by more ZS'ers so I thought I would leave it as sticky for a while.

[Murph]

I think the concept is summed up best by: Appearing covert while being able to employ any level of violence needed to protect yourself.

[ODA 226]

IMHO, a better definition is summed up with "The Importance of Not Being Seen".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zekiZYSVdeQ

While this is a funny clip, I am dead serious about this. There is no such thing as a "Grey Man" in a real SHTF situation. Anytime you expose yourself to any kind of observation, you are subject to be confronted and/or attacked.

If you can be seen, you can be hit. If you can be hit, you can be killed. It's as simple as that. If you think that no one will notice you if you wear subdued but non military gear or clothes and no one will pay attention to you, you are wrong. If a group of people are starving and see you walking down a road or a powerline or a railroad track (All of which are STUPID places to be if bugging out when the SHTF) with ANY type of rucksack on your back, they will tear you to pieces to take what supplies you have in that non-military black rucksack. Trust me about this. It is in the nature of desperate humans to act on animal instincts. They will tear you limb from limb if they think you have water or food.

It is my expressed opinion that moving slowly and deliberately, along a pre-scouted and determined route during the hours of darkness and avoiding built-up areas, roads, powerlines, firebreaks or railroad tracks will increase your chances of not being seen and that in the end will increase your chances of getting out alive exponentially. And remember, NEVER SACRIFICE SECURITY FOR SPEED!

Just my very humble opinion...

[ODA 226]

I think the concept is summed up best by: Appearing covert while being able to employ any level of violence needed to protect yourself.

BTW Murph, I understand what you're trying to say here, but one can never "appear" to be covert, because if you "appear" to be covert, you've been compromised.

[allofthemonkeys]

One thing I think is big is your attitude. I think some others mentioned this earlier but I'll toss in my two bits worth. I am 6'1", or 2" (Depends on my boots) but I found with the right attitude, people I know will pass me in the halls at school or on the street, look at me, and not realize I am there. Other times, I put out the vibe, don't mess with me, and I've seen people look me up, then down, then move away from me.

[phil_in_cs]

BTW Murph, I understand what you're trying to say here, but one can never "appear" to be covert, because if you "appear" to be covert, you've been compromised.

I saw someone selling "low profile operator" pants in multicam. How freaking low profile can you be walking around in multicam tac pants?

[Murph]

I think the concept is summed up best by: Appearing covert while being able to employ any level of violence needed to protect yourself.

BTW Murph, I understand what you're trying to say here, but one can never "appear" to be covert, because if you "appear" to be covert, you've been compromised.

I was referring more to everyday scenerios for the average person... Not the end of the world or any other secret squirrel/ninja/pirate stuff.

[Wolfe4086]

BTW Murph, I understand what you're trying to say here, but one can never "appear" to be covert, because if you "appear" to be covert, you've been compromised.

I saw someone selling "low profile operator" pants in multicam. How freaking low profile can you be walking around in multicam tac pants?

Multicam?!?!?!?! DO WANT!!!!!

I keed I keed,

All in all there is a fine line you need to walk. To the LEO and Military you have to look like a non-hostile but to the average person you need to convey the possible threat of force if disturbed. This is where the challenge lies.

[ZombieGranny]

I suppose I've blown my 'grey man' status by posting my photo as my avatar.

So one point -

DON'T put your picture on the internet!

[Thorne]

I suppose I've blown my 'grey man' status by posting my photo as my avatar.

So one point -

DON'T put your picture on the internet!

Unless it's a fake. Misinformation and the Internet go hand in hand.

[ista_hota]

Wow... stickied!

Thanks, I'm honored.

[KnightoftheRoc]

IMHO, a better definition is summed up with "The Importance of Not Being Seen".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zekiZYSVdeQ

While this is a funny clip, I am dead serious about this. There is no such thing as a "Grey Man" in a real SHTF situation. Anytime you expose yourself to any kind of observation, you are subject to be confronted and/or attacked.

If you can be seen, you can be hit. If you can be hit, you can be killed. It's as simple as that. If you think that no one will notice you if you wear subdued but non military gear or clothes and no one will pay attention to you, you are wrong. If a group of people are starving and see you walking down a road or a powerline or a railroad track (All of which are STUPID places to be if bugging out when the SHTF) with ANY type of rucksack on your back, they will tear you to pieces to take what supplies you have in that non-military black rucksack. Trust me about this. It is in the nature of desperate humans to act on animal instincts. They will tear you limb from limb if they think you have water or food.

It is my expressed opinion that moving slowly and deliberately, along a pre-scouted and determined route during the hours of darkness and avoiding built-up areas, roads, powerlines, firebreaks or railroad tracks will increase your chances of not being seen and that in the end will increase your chances of getting out alive exponentially. And remember, NEVER SACRIFICE SECURITY FOR SPEED!

Just my very humble opinion...

Agreed, and I would add, that equipping yourself with some form of night vision for this trek would put you ahead of the competition in most cases. The ability to see them before they get a chance to see you allows you the option of detouring, going to ground, or setting yourself for an armed response, depending on the situation. I would also add that, unless you train with said equipment (and this extends to just about any type of equipment), you might as well save your money and not buy it- untrained use under a high stress situation is useless at best, an actual liability at worst. Which makes YOU a liability- and most of us have plans to be bugging in/out with family members. Do you want to be the reason harm comes to them? I thought not- TRAIN!

[OrlandoFlyBoy]

A recent thread reminded me about being a gray man. It is one that should be seen by more ZS'ers so I thought I would leave it as sticky for a while.

Thanks (and to the one that brought it back up).

I never thought of this - some GREAT info here.

[squinty]

In day - to - day life I have trouble being "grey" and I'm not sure why. Something to do with being a slightly self-conscious or socially awkward person. I can't count the number of times I've sat at a bar or walked down a street or read a book on a park bench or otherwise quietly minded my own business only to hear "WTF are you looking at." Often, when I look in the direction of the questioner it's the first time I've ever laid eyes on them.

In a group, I'm always the guy targeted by the aggressive panhandler, the strong arm mugger, the sidewalk con artist, the belligerent drunk, the paranoid cop or security guard, the deranged solicitor or religious proselytizer, the derisive snickering pack of douchebag teenagers, the "barker" standing in a doorway trying to solicit business, the person that wants me to "take this survey" etc...I'm asked by strangers what my problem is, when I'm in a happy or carefree mood.

None of these people has ever successfully gotten over on me. I can deal quite effectively with unwanted attention - 99 percent of it any way - by staying quiet, polite and non-committal yet firmly assertive. 99 percent of potentially bad situations I can defuse, turn the person away by failing the "victim interview" or even turn them around into positive encounters. I'm pretty good at dealing with tense or awkward encounters. But I've had to be 'cause I'm crap at avoiding them. Something about me smells of mark or victim.

[squinty]

I suppose I've blown my 'grey man' status by posting my photo as my avatar.

So one point -

DON'T put your picture on the internet!

Unless it's a fake. Misinformation and the Internet go hand in hand.

Yep. I've posted photos on this site of me holding things (pocket knives and such.) I would like to now state for the record that the wrinkly light skinned hands in those photos are not mine, or anyone's. They are prop hands.

[SewerSnake]

Unknowingly, I have developed the skill of turning the gray man on and off back in college when I still love going to bars. I can go in and make my presence felt or most of the time, go in and just sit with my friends.

The concept of a gray man is very helpful but not as a lifestyle. You should be able to switch just to keep people guessing.

[ODA 226]

One thing I think is big is your attitude.

I agree with that statement.

[Jeriah]

I forgot to mention, I have conceal weapon permits that allow me to carry in around 30 states and I had my .45 with me. The major problem though is NO weapons are allowed on Amtrack trains - they will put you off at the next stop for even a pocket knife.

Didn't they recently repeal that one?

It's entirely possible I'm thinking of something else - if so, carry on.

As far as I know, that rule's still in play. I was looking at Amtrak as an alternative to air travel since my wife doesn't like flying and SFO just installed those gigantic X-ray machines for passengers to walk through. The two things that put me off were the price and the weapons policy. Call me crazy, but I don't like the idea of being on a train for 3-4 days completely unarmed.

I believe what they repealed was the prohibition on firearms in checked luggage. But that might have been Greyhound...?

[ZombieKraft]

I remember reading your work order deal, I think in your Katrina post - need to get around to setting something like that up, just in case.

My favorite line when asked "what a am I doing and where am I going"? Was to simply shake my head hold up the work order and read the address and say " Man they don't tell me shit... just what is on this work order". When pressed for information I always suggested that they call the office and say with indifference of a mediocre employee "Hey I don't mind I get paid the same whether I am working or standing here talking to you". Then just wait them out. It worked more times than not. The attitude to convey is one of confidence but indifference, not aggression or dominance. A confident "Hey I don't give rats ass one way or the other".

Another excellent post raptor.

Given that everyone and their brother has iphones now I would consider having a website and google voice account that redirects them to an answering machine recorded by someone of the opposite sex. Just Google "free web hosting" and you won't have to spend a dime. There are a few companies out there that can provide high quality static hosting for $5 a year (e.g. e-rice.net). Use it as a personal site during good times and a fake company during disasters.

Also, some people are offended by foul language. This is especially true among orthodox/fundamentalist religious groups. I would avoid anything that could (even subconsciously) encourage them to be aggressive toward you in a way that you don't want. I would say something like "I'm an hourly employee... take your time." and then go do something fun like read a book or play a gameboy. It puts a lot more emphasis on the 'i'm lazy and I don't want to work anyway' part of the equation. It may be subtle but it's important. If they get aggressive, they will do something to get your rear end back to work. You really can't lose.

[knightoftheroad]

Alright, a crisis has happened and things are going....well, a bit uncomfortable. You get the feeling that things may be getting worse and it might not be good to be seen by potential zombies.

How do you hide in plain sight in urban areas? And the suburbs?

I am thinking of the following scenarios:

A Katrina situation and the aftermath. Maybe you can't leave elderly family members by themselves.

A 9/11 type event in which you are trying to hoof home...a route that may take you through rough shady neighborhoods.

Maybe you became homeless and want to sleep without getting your skull caved in.

Thoughts, ideas, suggestions?

[the_alias]

viewtopic.php?f=93&t=62186

viewtopic.php?f=6&t=44884

[knightoftheroad]

the_alias,

thanks for posting those links.

Anyone have more suggestions on hidey holes in urban areas?