Netherlands: If it ain't Dutch it ain't much

[Bolo]

Don't know if there's a thread on it yet, I searched but found nothing.

Right,

Dutchies on the forum, let's try to meet up here. I know Lynxian and JIM are around here.

Any more?

[grue]

Guilty as charged.

[Lynxian]

Oh, heh, I managed to miss this one... ^_^

I could say stuff, but I was already mentioned, so I will simply lurk, and await the arrival of more Dutchies... (I do know there's a few, but I keep forgetting their names. O.o)

[Trebor]

My wife's Dad immigrated to the states from the Netherlands in 1958. She's still got a bunch of relatives and friends over there. We need to plan another visit as the last one was 10 years ago.

I was surprised how much I liked Amerstdam, as we didn't have any interested in the "coffee" shops. I really wanted to see Anne Franks house though and that was very moving. And we both really enjoyed the "Sex Museum" and the "Erotic Museum." We hit the Van Gogh museum as well (although maybe that's not the actual name..?)

[Lynxian]

Next time you're there, also go to the Rijksmuseum. There's gorgeous paintings there, including Rembrandt's Nachtwacht. (Nightwatch.) Visiting the local park (Vondelpark) can also be nice.

About the sex museum; I believe there's about half a dozen there, just mainly aimed at tourists, hoping to get a buck out of them. (Because, quite frankly, the amount of sex in Amsterdam compared to any other world city, especially the European ones, is pretty standard.)

[Coop]

Another dutchie reporting for duty...

Hallo jongens en meisjes / Hello guys & gals

[BerserkerPrime]

Had to throw my two cents in when I saw the title "If it ain't Dutch, it ain't much". I first saw this in Bosnia in 95 while deployed with the dutch army and 36 other nations. The Dutch bar was the best of the civilized countries as Heinikan (sp?) went in and built it for them. The "around the world pub crawl" always started with the Dutch bar and ended at the American bar. The Norse bar kicked ass as well! Anyway, cheers!

BerserkerPrime
Be an Ant, not a Grasshopper!

[Coop]

Funny, how everyone knows Heineken... It's considered one of the lesser dutch beers by many people here in NL

I live pretty close to the border with Belgium, so most dutch beers seem like lesser quality to me

[grue]

Certainly. Traveling to Brussels in two weeks... woo

[midgetyaz]

I have a Dutch friend! She likes to teach me phrases to say to her family when they call. I'm not sure what I'm saying, but they think it's hysterical!

[grue]

You should post some, I'm sure we can translate

[midgetyaz]

Please forgive the spelling (trying to write it phonetically)...

Gaveh shoonen, villya nooken

And

nooken in de kooken.

[Lynxian]

Please forgive the spelling (trying to write it phonetically)...

Gaveh shoonen, villya nooken

And

nooken in de kooken.

First is; "Cool shoes, wanna fuck?"
Second is: "Fucking in the kitchen" (it rhymes in Dutch)

By the way, here's the proper spelling;

First: "Gave schoenen, wil je neuken?"
Second: "Neuken in de keuken."

[Coop]

damn, he beat me to it

[midgetyaz]

Figures.

edit: Oh Hell! She had me say that to her mom!

[Lynxian]

Figures.

edit: Oh Hell! She had me say that to her mom!

And? How did it turn out? Is the mom a MILF?

[sui]

lol

(fun how lol in dutch means fun....)

hi, from alkmaar

[Marinus]

Nijmegen here.

[Coop]

A few more members and a dutch chapter of ZS might be within reach

[Lynxian]

A few more members and a dutch chapter of ZS might be within reach

Yes, I can already see the first Dutch ZS meetup;

The people coming by car would be late because they got stuck in one of our massive traffic jams. The people coming by public transport would also be late, probably because there would be 3 leaves on the tracks, bringing the trains to a standstill. I would also be late, and I'd come by train, but my train would have no leaf problems whatsoever. I'd simply be late because of my tendency to do that.

Then, once we would all be there, the pub owner would object to our large group (finding it intimidating) and the police would come and diplomatically ask us to split up in three groups or to leave the pub. Unsatisfied with that, we would all go to the local park where we would show off our gear to one another.

I would show that I have, in fact, nothing to show, and thus would be arrested for not wearing anything.

JIM would then proceed to show off his medical equipment, only to be beaten up by some random mob who don't like paramedics. (For the non-Dutchies; it's a rage here lately to beat up and intimidate police, paramedics and firemen when they're trying to do their job and generally help people in distress.)

With me in jail and JIM picked up by his colleagues (paramedics - who then have come with an escore of four police cars and will have reinforced their ambulance A-Team style), the rest would then stay there, somewhat confused. However, still trying to make the best of it, they'd continue.

Gear would be shown and attempted to be put to use. The first person showing his knife and consequently using it on a branch would be met by screams from the terrified general public around the group. Three more members would get their knifes and try to calmly explain to the terrified people, in a gentle and non-threatning tone, that these are tools, not weapons, and will only be used as such and are allowed by law. The general public would ignore this, all call the emergency services and proceed to do nothing (bystander effect) but to get their mobile cameras (retard effect) and start taping the baffled Dutch ZS'ers. Police would arrive once more, not properly know the law they're trying to enforce, and arrest all Dutch ZS'ers that have anything resembling a pointy tip and would then proceed to beat the living crap out of them and use pepperspray. All gear, be it something as non-threatning as tents or MRE's, would be confiscated and, after the four knife carryers have been arrested it leaves the very small group of Dutch ZS'ers remaining.

Not finding their environment very safe anymore, they would proceed to the house of the ZS'er that lives nearby. There, they would talk into the late hours what they would do in case of the impending zombie apocalypse, or similar disaster. They would discuss how they would defend their property with firearms and-- correction: knifes and-- correction again: spoons and water and how they would hold out and, finally, how they would escape to their BOL.

In the end, I'd be released out of prison the next morning with a fine and all ideas shattered about how 'Dutch prisons surely don't have Bubbas'. JIM would find himself permanently disabled and having to pay a fine to his attackers, because it should've been obvious to him, or so the judge claimed, that all the red colors from his FAK would drive certain people, of certain intellect, insane. Of the four arrested knife-ZS'ers, two would've died as a direct result of police brutality, only an internal investigation by the police would later deem this as 'proportionate' and would explain how all officers 'executed their functions as can be expected by Dutch police'. The other two would, after recovery, team up and write a book about their experiences, which would lead to them being outcast in The Netherlands, but the translated version would become a real bestseller in Canada, to which they would relocate and find their love for eachother.


Of course, my perceptions of a Dutch ZS chapter might be somewhat blurred, so feel free to correct me here and there...

[Coop]

Scary... Very scary... how close that is to a possible real world scenario....

But there is no way the dutch police will beat a group of prepared ZS-ers unless they shoot them, which for a group of 6 ZS-ers would take at least 17 police officers as 11 of them will put themselves out of business in the process (of course, the ZS-ers will be blamed and convicted for this).

[Marinus]

A few more members and a dutch chapter of ZS might be within reach

Yes, I can already see the first Dutch ZS meetup;

The people coming by car [[[cut]]] their love for eachother.


Of course, my perceptions of a Dutch ZS chapter might be somewhat blurred, so feel free to correct me here and there...

Thanks, for your hope-shattering and utterly realistic potrayal of the first (final?) Dutch Zombie-sqaud meeting. Well it let me lol-ed, that should count for something.

The only thing more depressing is the thought of the unavoidable zombie invasion which, by my calculation, should take The Netherlands out in aproximately 120 hours. About the time it takes for the Dutch Government to realize that those zombies aren't French cannabis-tourists with the munchies. Let's start the Dutch Chapter anyways....

[thecheeto]

I'm not Dutch born, but my Father's Father and my Mother's Mother were both immigrants from the Netherlands. Some of my other Dutch American friends regularly proclaim loudly "If it ain't Dutch it ain't much!" With a last name that begins with "van der" when ever I am in the Netherlands people just start talking to me in Dutch...

[Lynxian]

I'm not Dutch born, but my Father's Father and my Mother's Mother were both immigrants from the Netherlands. Some of my other Dutch American friends regularly proclaim loudly "If it ain't Dutch it ain't much!" With a last name that begins with "van der" when ever I am in the Netherlands people just start talking to me in Dutch...

Hehe, sorry about that...

And, of course, I can do nothing but agree with your friends!