Creepy guy follows you home

Discuss those "what if" or "what would you do" scenarios you've been wondering about.

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Re: Creepy guy follows you home

Post by kir » Tue Sep 23, 2008 6:05 pm

Kind of the opposite experience, but I've had two separate instances of women who thought they were being stalked ask me for help. It rather surprised me that they would ask a stranger, but then when I saw the guys that were following them even I got the "creepy" vibe, they were laying it on pretty thick. Trust your instincts, too many times I've heard victims say they felt something was wrong but had dismissed the feeling.

Good alternative locations to go to if you can't get to a police station could be a hospital, fire station or certain large corporations (lots of video surveillance and hyperactive security).

On a slightly different note, if you're sure someone is going to be confronting you in a non-violent manner, go into some place expensive and make like you're going to buy something. Security will always help the person making a purchase and get rid of the person making a scene.
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Re: Creepy guy follows you home

Post by bethanyb » Tue Sep 23, 2008 9:22 pm

lefty wrote:Bebaker I like the way you handled the situation. of cours you could have called somebody at the ZS meeting and had them all standing out front waiting for him. :D
At the time I was still fairly new and I don't think I had anyone's number.
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Re: Creepy guy follows you home

Post by SaraBellum » Wed Sep 24, 2008 12:28 am

I'm really surprised that so many of you guys on a zombie/survivalist website have been mistaken for "the creepy guy".

I kid, I kid!

Another work story. I used to have a nametag that had both my first and last name on it. One of my guests used that and looked up my family history. He told me about my parents, my sister, and an uncle I never speak to. I'm almost certain that he was trying to impress me and not creep me out, but he failed. He failed miserable. I went into super protection overdrive and called my parents and sister and told them to look out for the guy. He never did anything, but I wonder what the hell was wrong with him that he felt that was an okay thing to do.

My nametag only has my first name on it now.
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Re: Creepy guy follows you home

Post by Chantrea » Wed Sep 24, 2008 1:37 am

Y.T. wrote:
Chantrea wrote:I would praise her for following her (very good) instincts.
I don't know about that. Her only instinct was to not go to her own house. How did it really help her to go sit and freak out in an empty neighbor's house rather than her own empty house? (edit: correction, she also had the instinct to recognize something was "off" with the guy, which is important.)
YT, considering how even now girls (and to some degree boys as well) are beaten down to be nice, to just ignore anything that seems off because you're probably just a weirdo, ect...yeah, the fact that she obviously recognized something as off and reacted to it is worthy of praise.

One of the worst things I think you can do is to START by saying, "OMG you totally fucked up" and then launch into how it could have been done better. Unless you're planning to follow the kid around, put your angel wings on and balance on her shoulder, I think it's important to reinforce the good insticts and then guide someone to adding on to them.

Now, your mileage may vary. But when I've had the chance to mentor/instruct people, generally I try to approach things in away that acknowledges what they did that was good (reinforcement) and then to expand what else they can add to their toolkit or look at differently. It tends to keep their mind open, and generally people already have an uphill battle in maintaining their confidence in following what that inner tug tells them even if it's 'rude' or you don't have a 'good reason' for it.

Everyone can always look back on any given situation and figure out things they could have done better. That's certainly part of educating yourself as well. But as I said, the important thing *for me* is to start with what the person did right and build from there, especially if they've just experienced a very frightening situation. I don't like to encourage an 'all or nothing' attitude (either do it all right, or you might as well have done nothing) because I don't believe that it's true or helpful in most circumstances.

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Re: Creepy guy follows you home

Post by Yugosaki » Wed Sep 24, 2008 8:33 am

I've never had someone follow ME, but if they were I'd probably head to the nearest public area (i.e. a mall) I could think of and try to lose him there, I wouldn't be showing the guy exactly where I lived.

But something similar happened to me and a friend a few years back, when We were younger and stupider (I was 17 and he was 16 at the time.) We were out and about at night, in a busy nighttime district (clubs, bars, and the like) there was a carnival going on a few blocks down the street, so there were also several teenagers coming and going. We were approached by a couple of teenage girls, couldn't be no more than 15 years old, who asked us to walk with them because they were being followed by a creepy guy, looked back, and sure enough there was a creepy looking guy, matted hair, raggy jean jacket, etc. obviously watching and walking toward these girls. So we agreed, and walked with them for a couple blocks. We were nearing the end of the district, and beyond this point was all quiet, not very well lit, residential area. Not where I want to be while being followed. and sure enough, he was still following. Now, what I did next was not the best thing to do, but it was all I could think of at the time. I turned around and walked right up to the guy (he was no more than 6 feet behind us at the time) and played the whole 'jealous boyfriend' bit ("what, you lookin at my girl") My friend caught on and did the same thing. Luckily, faced with 2 angry teenagers on the offensive, he mumbled something and opted to go into one of the bars. We then proceeded to backtrack and take the girls back to the nearby LRT station (similar to a subway)

In retrospect confrontation was probably not the best idea, Next time i'll definately get on the phone first. guy coulda pulled a weapon, but it all worked out in the end.

Edit: i'd like to add that I get approached for help ALL THE TIME (directions, time of day, the end is nigh, etc) I don't know what it is about me.
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Re: Creepy guy follows you home

Post by Coyotes Brother » Wed Sep 24, 2008 8:49 am

Back in the day, my college had this program called the "Knights" - basically it was a walk-you-home service staffed by students and ran through the college switchboard dispatcher. Do colleges still do things like that?
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Re: Creepy guy follows you home

Post by Chantrea » Wed Sep 24, 2008 11:42 am

Coyotes Brother wrote:Back in the day, my college had this program called the "Knights" - basically it was a walk-you-home service staffed by students and ran through the college switchboard dispatcher. Do colleges still do things like that?
Mine did, and I know the community college around here currently does as well. My college didn't do a good job of advertising it though, while I've seen flyers all over the place at the community college. The CC had just had a string of incidents of women being attacked along one of the main walking paths to the school, though, so they had a fire lit under their rear.

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Re: Creepy guy follows you home

Post by Y.T. » Wed Sep 24, 2008 12:10 pm

Chantrea wrote:One of the worst things I think you can do is to START by saying, "OMG you totally fucked up" and then launch into how it could have been done better. Unless you're planning to follow the kid around, put your angel wings on and balance on her shoulder, I think it's important to reinforce the good insticts and then guide someone to adding on to them.
I understand what you're saying, that when speaking to her (the girl in the OP) or another girl in that situation directly to give advice/education you need to couch things in positive statements. I was referring to just the discussion here. :) Meaning that for the sake of discussing WWYD, I wouldn't call her actions stellar since there were many things that could have been done better.
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Re: Creepy guy follows you home

Post by Czechnology » Wed Sep 24, 2008 2:42 pm

Coyotes Brother wrote:Back in the day, my college had this program called the "Knights" - basically it was a walk-you-home service staffed by students and ran through the college switchboard dispatcher. Do colleges still do things like that?
I'm sure legal liability has annihilated things like this, unless you're willing to get sued by the girl your mere unarmed presence didn't protect.
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Re: Creepy guy follows you home

Post by JibbaJabba » Wed Sep 24, 2008 2:44 pm

The great thing about being poor and owning very little of value is that you can't really be sued.

Well, you can, but they won't even recoup the attorney's fees by seizing everything you have.
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Re: Creepy guy follows you home

Post by Chantrea » Wed Sep 24, 2008 2:51 pm

Czechnology wrote: I'm sure legal liability has annihilated things like this, unless you're willing to get sued by the girl your mere unarmed presence didn't protect.
Not unless your state doesn't have a good samaritan clause. Fortunately, WA state does. I believe though were you to draw a weapon and shoot someone, it's not covered. Though none of the walk/drive volunteer services I ever personally used involved armed people, at least not to my knowledge.

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Re: Creepy guy follows you home

Post by Y.T. » Wed Sep 24, 2008 4:13 pm

SaraBellum wrote:I used to have a nametag that had both my first and last name on it. One of my guests used that and looked up my family history. He told me about my parents, my sister, and an uncle I never speak to. I'm almost certain that he was trying to impress me and not creep me out, but he failed. He failed miserable. I went into super protection overdrive and called my parents and sister and told them to look out for the guy. He never did anything, but I wonder what the hell was wrong with him that he felt that was an okay thing to do.
Coyotes Brother,
ok, you know when you asked what guys could do to avoid being perceived as creepy? Well, yeah, don't do that. ;) Cyberstalking a woman you've hardly spoken with thinking it will give you some kind of "in" for conversation is near the top of the list of DON'Ts.

I had some guy do that on a business forum once. Emailed me asking about obscure things he found about me online, I guess thinking it would give him something to talk about and show he was earnestly interested. Instead it creeped me the fuck out and felt completely rude and invasive. As SaraBellum said: epic fail.

So there you go, that's a start: Don't be a total freak when talking to women. ;)
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Re: Creepy guy follows you home

Post by Y.T. » Wed Sep 24, 2008 5:54 pm

Coyotes Brother wrote:Getting off-topic here, but ya know what'd really help? A good guide for men on how to avoid situations that might make women paranoid. Something so that the average joe walking down the street can recognize a "hey that chick might think I'm a weirdo" situation, because, quite frankly, most guys are oblivious to the nuances. Also, it'd have to be information that bad people couldn't use to their advantage. You up for that?

As I said earlier I can't speak definitively on this topic, but I did take some time to think about Coyotes Brother's suggestion. Below are some things that came to mind that might help the friendly harmless folks who wish to make those around them feel more at ease. It's not meant to make people paranoid or self-conscious, just a glimpse into how innocent things can appear otherwise in different circumstances, or social awkwardness can come across as threatening. If you find that people are continually acting suspicious of you perhaps this will help.

Of course this list is not comprehensive or universal and there will always be exceptions. A lone woman at a daytime street fair will likely feel less threatened than one on a deserted street at night, for example. But if nothing else they may give some food for thought or debate. Hopefully others can correct or add to the list.


Tips on not freaking out women when traveling:

1: Put yourself in her shoes. If you see a lone woman on a bus or train, or walking alone, think about how you might feel in he position. What might you be fearful of or attentive to if you were her? What can you do to avoid doing those things that might cause alarm? If you can't imagine that role, then think about how you might be concerned for her safety if the woman were your mom, daughter, sister, gf/wife.

2: Don't stare. I don't care how beautiful, ugly, familiar, or strange she is staring is not the sign of a balanced, polite, friendly individual.

3: If you find you're coincidentally following behind a woman and she's looking tense, try changing your actions -- crossing the street, or popping into a store for a moment, or pausing to "check your phone" or "fix your jacket" -- so you appear to be on your own routine and not concerned with her path.

4: If you're getting onto a bus or train and notice there is a woman by herself don't sit right next to her or zero in on her as you walk. Try to sit a normal comfortable distance elsewhere. Sitting in front of her will probably make her feel better since she can see your actions, rather than wonder if you're watching hers.

5: In general when approaching or attempting to converse with a lone woman don't make sudden or darting movements at her. Such as abruptly turning around in your seat, making furtive glances at her then turning away, or quickly leaning over to her. Slower, calmer movements are less suspicious and threatening in those circumstances.

6: If you're approaching a lone woman on the street to ask for directions or the time, don't make a sudden movement or dart at her. Also, don't startle her by suddenly raising your voice at her. If you can, stop as she's approaching instead of moving toward her. Smile in a blandly friendly way and calmly signal that you're asking a question. Such as pointing to your wrist while saying "excuse me, do you have the time?" Or pointing to a map/streetsign while saying "excuse me, I'm lost. Do you know where [insert place] is?"

7: If you're in a group of men while needing to ask a woman for the time or directions, don't have the whole group approach her. Don't have the group standing nearby laughing and causing a stir. Let your companions cross to the other side or pass by while you stay behind and behave as in #6.

8: When possible, do not approach or yell to a woman from behind, especially while running. If she's dropped something hold it out in front of you while approaching and say "excuse me you dropped your [insert item]" until she hears you. If you have to run to catch up to her and it appears she doesn't hear you or is ignoring you, try to run a little past her first then turn around with the item outstretched so she can see you clearly and understand why you're speaking with her. It's not uncommon for guys on the street to use the "you dropped something" trick to try to get a woman to stop and talk with them. This can make women wary about being approached in that way.

9: If you're approaching a woman walking/biking while you're driving and seeking assistance (such as asking a pedestrian for directions) try to keep the car greater than snatching distance away (greater than the width of the car door), try to roll the window down as you approach, and try to look as friendly and confused (harmless) as possible while asking. If you have several companions in the car, ask them to be quiet and casual while you're asking. An approaching car full of shouting rowdy guys will make her either feel threatened or like she's being made fun of.

10: If you see that a woman appears nervous because of you take a moment to reflect on your appearance, body language and habits at the time to see what might be perceived as threatening. You may be able to adopt a more more neutral position such as sitting up straighter with your legs and arms closer to your body rather than spread out. You may be able to appear more involved in your own interests, such as reading a book or watching the scenery. You may just be able to move to a different seat to make you both more comfortable. You may be able to slow and calm your gait so you're not walking so aggressively and forcefully.



Tips on complimenting or conversing with a woman without freaking her out or looking like a creep:

1: Treat her as you would any other person, regardless of equipment, unless you generally treat people like an asshole.

2: Don't talk to her like you've just slipped a dollar in her thong or are paying by the hour. This immediately rings the creep alarm.

3: For gawd's sake try not to leer, make suggestive hand gestures, make emphatic facial expressions, or look anywhere other than her face when you're complimenting her. This also rings the creepy alarm.

4: If she grabs the mace or inflicts bodily harm, you're doing it wrong.

5: Being simple and genuine usually works, unless you're genuinely a creep.

6: To the point of being genuine, acknowledge that you're just complimenting her appearance without trying to falsely couch it in a smarmy compliment about her personal power. It almost always goes poorly otherwise. It comes across as insincere, which can suggest you have ulterior motives, which can suggest someone creepy.

7: Expressing appreciation of the female form can be done with class. Expressing appreciation of her appearance as the top personal value, or worse, at the dismissal of everything else will not lead to a positive reaction. Remember: part of the whole, not THE whole. See #2.

8: If you have to interrupt what she's doing to compliment her -- especially if she looks like she's in the middle of work, concentrating on a task, or involved in a conversation with friends -- it's probably not the best time. Example: she's getting a can off the shelf while shopping: probably ok to approach her; she's trying to juggle her bags and her wallet while listening to the clerk and trying to pay: not a good time. You want to connect not intrude. Intrusion can come across as rude or threatening.

9: If you interrupt her don't expect her to be necessarily friendly or grateful -- you've essentially just intruded on her time to hit on her. This can appear as if you think she had no other purpose to her time than to sit there waiting for someone to hit on her. Some may be polite despite the uninvited interruption. Some will be pissed off, feeling that you view your time as more valuable than hers so you can therefore disrespect obvious boundaries and intrude whenever you'd like. A sign interpreted as being disrespectful can put up the alarm that you may also be creepy.

10: If you have to shout at her from a moving vehicle to compliment or converse with her, it is not the right time. Don't shout at a woman like she's a stray dog as you drive down the road. This makes you look at best creepy and at worst threatening. It also looks cheap and classless.

11. If while walking you have to shout at a woman you don't know from across the street to compliment or converse with her it is not the right time. Doing so looks aggressive and unpredictable, possibly threatening. It also looks cheap and classless.

12: Expecting, or worse, demanding some kind of mutual appreciation for a compliment will not bode well. Just because you find her attractive doesn't mean she is available or mutually interested. Becoming resentful or hostile if she does not return your advances immediately puts you in the creepy/threatening category.

13: Expecting some kind of gratitude or service from an unsolicited compliment will not endear you to her. Shouting "bitch", "dyke", "whore", "slut" or any other insult because your advances were unwanted or unwelcomed will immediately put you into the creepy/threatening category.

14: Do not dig up information about her through friends, co-workers, neighbors, or the internet thinking this will give you an edge of some sort when you speak with her. This will just make you look like a basement-dwelling stalker freak.

15: Do not take the liberty of personal intimacies with a woman you barely know such as continually touching at her, putting your arm around her waist, placing your hand on her back as she walks, or gripping her arm when you're speaking. While you may think this sends signals to other guys that you've called "dibs" or shows her you are clearly interested, this signals to the woman that you are invasive, threatening, creepy, disrespectful and possibly violent.


ETA: Some summary tips:

Finally, remember that if you're in a group your actions can appear SIGNIFICANTLY more threatening to a lone woman. What you take as funny, she may take as hostile. You're essentially outnumbering her and the actions of your companions can magnify what you say and do, so small "that might be creepy" things suddenly become "wow, that's really creepy and I want to get the fuck out of here NOW".

Also keep in mind that during a SHTF scenario many women may be on hyper alert for signs of assault or aggression, made even more nervous from the effects of stress. Some of the tips above may help you when approaching a strange woman during those circumstances. You may need to go an extra step at appearing nonthreatening if your intentions in communicating with her are harmless.

(edits: dabnabbit. numerous typos)
Last edited by Y.T. on Wed Sep 24, 2008 8:29 pm, edited 4 times in total.
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Re: Creepy guy follows you home

Post by JibbaJabba » Wed Sep 24, 2008 6:07 pm

Y.T. wrote:12: Expecting, or worse, demanding some kind of mutual appreciation for a compliment will not bode well. Just because you find her attractive doesn't mean she is available or mutually interested. Becoming resentful or hostile if she does not return your advances immediately puts you in the creepy/threatening category.
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Also, Y.T., after reading through all of that.. Jesus, you've really met some winners over the years haven't you?
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Re: Creepy guy follows you home

Post by Y.T. » Wed Sep 24, 2008 6:22 pm

JibbaJabba wrote:Also, Y.T., after reading through all of that.. Jesus, you've really met some winners over the years haven't you?
eh, probably no more than anyone else. :)
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Re: Creepy guy follows you home

Post by Coyotes Brother » Wed Sep 24, 2008 6:27 pm

Y.T. wrote:Coyotes Brother,
ok, you know when you asked what guys could do to avoid being perceived as creepy? Well, yeah, don't do that. ;)
Well duh, LOL, I'll try not to take that the wrong way. :)

Really do appreciate that you took the time to make that post. That's a great list. The points you make about a group of guys, those are things that wouldn't have occurred to me.

If I may suggest: On #8, it's better to stop, point at the object dropped and say something like "Excuse me miss, you dropped your [grenade launcher]." And even if they drop an entire bag or two of stuff, it's better to stand a back a little bit and ask if they *want* help before diving in. My small town manners almost me got clonked on the head with a can of tomato soup over that one.
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...4 words for you: deaf. amish. zombie killer.
...3 more words: machine. gun. leg.

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-- said by a quite awesome friend
(yes, it qualifies as a zombie movie)
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Re: Creepy guy follows you home

Post by Y.T. » Wed Sep 24, 2008 6:31 pm

Coyotes Brother wrote:Well duh, LOL, I'll try not to take that the wrong way. :)
oh, I was totally just joking about the absurdity of doing that in general. not suggesting you're backwards enough to try it. :)
Coyotes Brother wrote:If I may suggest: On #8, it's better to stop, point at the object dropped and say something like "Excuse me miss, you dropped your [grenade launcher]." And even if they drop an entire bag or two of stuff, it's better to stand a back a little bit and ask if they *want* help before diving in. My small town manners almost me got clonked on the head with a can of tomato soup over that one.
Soup can injuries are serious, man. :) And yes, I was speaking under the assumption that she dropped it behind her while walking and continued to move on. But if she's standing there it may be easier and safer to just point out the item dropped first.
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Re: Creepy guy follows you home

Post by Shiner86 » Wed Sep 24, 2008 7:59 pm

Just adding something to all YT said...

If someone's actively trying to ditch you, just let them go.

I was walking through a mall once when some guy I'd never seen before in my life came up along side me and just started chatting. Because I'm polite, and was even more polite a few years ago than I am now, I made small talk for a minute. Then I smiled, said I had some shopping to do, and politely walked off in another direction. Well, he turned around and followed me. He followed me into a Hallmark store and asked if I was single. "No," I said, "in fact, I'm picking up a card for my fiancee." I bought the card and when he was still following me a minute after I'd left the store I said something to the effect of "Hey, really, I've got some stuff to do. It was nice meeting you, but I've got to go, okay?" He followed me through two more stores, asking for my phone number, etc. I ignored him the whole time. Eventually he got bored, called me a bitch and wandered off.

Looking back on it, that was absurd. I think it goes to illustrate, though, how ingrained it is for some girls that they're supposed to be polite, no matter what. Yeah, we were in a public place, so I never felt particularly threatened, but it was still creepy as hell. I guess the moral of the story is, guys, just because a girl hasn't maced you in the face yet doesn't mean she wants you around. Try to catch subtle and not-so-subtle signs that your attentions are unwanted.

Also, don't hit on someone who's wearing an engagement ring. It's not polite. :lol:

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Re: Creepy guy follows you home

Post by the_alias » Wed Sep 24, 2008 8:01 pm

Coyotes Brother wrote:Back in the day, my college had this program called the "Knights" - basically it was a walk-you-home service staffed by students and ran through the college switchboard dispatcher. Do colleges still do things like that?
Yes, my uni here in UK does this.
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Re: Creepy guy follows you home

Post by JibbaJabba » Wed Sep 24, 2008 8:03 pm

Shiner86 wrote:Try to catch subtle and not-so-subtle signs that your attentions are unwanted.
It's more efficient to simply assume the above is true unless she makes it clear that you do not, in fact, repulse her. Saves you the embarrassment, and her the can o' Mace.
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Re: Creepy guy follows you home

Post by Chantrea » Wed Sep 24, 2008 8:28 pm

Wanted to throw in for us parents of girls, it's very important that girls/women are taught how to talk to boys/men they're not interested in. I think that probably the societal pressure/expectation to be a 'nice' girl at all costs is probably lessened now (I hope, I grew up on military bases where it was like a 50s time warp, so I'm probably a poor judge of how much pressure there was during the 80s and 90s in civvie circles), there are quite a few girls who don't say very clearly "No. Leave me alone." Girls/women often seem to think that if they 'drop hints' that every guy will "get it", but in my experience even non-creepy normal guys often are oblivious, since they're already nervous in the first place just gathering up the courage to put themselves out there like that.

Of course, NOTHING excuses stalkerish behavior, and being direct will not prevent it if the person is a nutjob. I just think that it's equally imporant for women to be educated on communication as it is for men. Dropping hints isn't communication, and leads to all sorts of relationship problems if you're conditioned to think that your partner should be psychic in regards to your needs and s/he must hate you/disrespect you if s/he doesn't just naturally know what to do when you've not told them.

Unlike other parental talks, I think the discussion about communication is actually a really fun one to have with my kids. We keep it age appropriate, though.

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Re: Creepy guy follows you home

Post by kir » Wed Sep 24, 2008 8:45 pm

Once again a good informative post from Y.T.
JibbaJabba wrote:
Shiner86 wrote:Try to catch subtle and not-so-subtle signs that your attentions are unwanted.
It's more efficient to simply assume the above is true unless she makes it clear that you do not, in fact, repulse her. Saves you the embarrassment, and her the can o' Mace.
Agreed. Unless a woman first demonstrates some sort of desire to interact with me I'm not going to be paying any kind of overt attention to them beyond basic existence acknowledgment. Too many creeps out there and it seems most, if not all women have had to deal with them on an all too often basis. If she's interested enough she'll make it obvious.

I find it's safer to superficially ignore them (in a polite manner of course) unless there is an immediate pressing need to do otherwise. Hasn't hurt my ability to form relationships, though I do tend to attract females who are assertive and confident, which suits me just fine.
Chantrea wrote:Dropping hints isn't communication, and leads to all sorts of relationship problems if you're conditioned to think that your partner should be psychic in regards to your needs and s/he must hate you/disrespect you if s/he doesn't just naturally know what to do when you've not told them.
Yes, yes and yes. Did I say yes? Yes.

[edit] Another thought on the male/female interaction... males, if you have female friends, cultivate those friendships. They can often help translate and point things out to you. Plus, if you're seen interacting in a normal manner with other females it helps demonstrate to other females you're not a creep.
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Re: Creepy guy follows you home

Post by zXzGrifterzXz » Thu Sep 25, 2008 12:41 am

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Re: Creepy guy follows you home

Post by TheQuietOne » Thu Sep 25, 2008 10:25 am

Y.T. wrote: Tips on complimenting or conversing with a woman without freaking her out or looking like a creep:

1: Treat her as you would any other person, regardless of equipment, unless you generally treat people like an asshole.

2: Don't talk to her like you've just slipped a dollar in her thong or are paying by the hour. This immediately rings the creep alarm.

3: For gawd's sake try not to leer, make suggestive hand gestures, make emphatic facial expressions, or look anywhere other than her face when you're complimenting her. This also rings the creepy alarm.

4: If she grabs the mace or inflicts bodily harm, you're doing it wrong.

5: Being simple and genuine usually works, unless you're genuinely a creep.

6: To the point of being genuine, acknowledge that you're just complimenting her appearance without trying to falsely couch it in a smarmy compliment about her personal power. It almost always goes poorly otherwise. It comes across as insincere, which can suggest you have ulterior motives, which can suggest someone creepy.

7: Expressing appreciation of the female form can be done with class. Expressing appreciation of her appearance as the top personal value, or worse, at the dismissal of everything else will not lead to a positive reaction. Remember: part of the whole, not THE whole. See #2.

8: If you have to interrupt what she's doing to compliment her -- especially if she looks like she's in the middle of work, concentrating on a task, or involved in a conversation with friends -- it's probably not the best time. Example: she's getting a can off the shelf while shopping: probably ok to approach her; she's trying to juggle her bags and her wallet while listening to the clerk and trying to pay: not a good time. You want to connect not intrude. Intrusion can come across as rude or threatening.

9: If you interrupt her don't expect her to be necessarily friendly or grateful -- you've essentially just intruded on her time to hit on her. This can appear as if you think she had no other purpose to her time than to sit there waiting for someone to hit on her. Some may be polite despite the uninvited interruption. Some will be pissed off, feeling that you view your time as more valuable than hers so you can therefore disrespect obvious boundaries and intrude whenever you'd like. A sign interpreted as being disrespectful can put up the alarm that you may also be creepy.

10: If you have to shout at her from a moving vehicle to compliment or converse with her, it is not the right time. Don't shout at a woman like she's a stray dog as you drive down the road. This makes you look at best creepy and at worst threatening. It also looks cheap and classless.

11. If while walking you have to shout at a woman you don't know from across the street to compliment or converse with her it is not the right time. Doing so looks aggressive and unpredictable, possibly threatening. It also looks cheap and classless.

12: Expecting, or worse, demanding some kind of mutual appreciation for a compliment will not bode well. Just because you find her attractive doesn't mean she is available or mutually interested. Becoming resentful or hostile if she does not return your advances immediately puts you in the creepy/threatening category.

13: Expecting some kind of gratitude or service from an unsolicited compliment will not endear you to her. Shouting "bitch", "dyke", "whore", "slut" or any other insult because your advances were unwanted or unwelcomed will immediately put you into the creepy/threatening category.

14: Do not dig up information about her through friends, co-workers, neighbors, or the internet thinking this will give you an edge of some sort when you speak with her. This will just make you look like a basement-dwelling stalker freak.

15: Do not take the liberty of personal intimacies with a woman you barely know such as continually touching at her, putting your arm around her waist, placing your hand on her back as she walks, or gripping her arm when you're speaking. While you may think this sends signals to other guys that you've called "dibs" or shows her you are clearly interested, this signals to the woman that you are invasive, threatening, creepy, disrespectful and possibly violent.
I work in retail, so I have to deal with strange people on a daily basis. I'd like to add one more tip to Y.T.'s list:

Don't go up to a woman and start playing "20 Questions" right off the bat. Asking things like, "What's your last name?" "Where do you live?" "How old are you?" to a woman you don't know is only going to creep her out. You will not get a date that way. ;)
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