Things you may hear in the P.A.W.

[bcvojak]

Wow, Zombies die if they eat MREs! I knew those things were toxic!!!!!!

[Space Jockey]

1. That's why I have extra machetes
2. I used to date that zed, she's probably still a bitch
3. Why or why did I forget to get condoms
4. I gotta find a way to make use of all these useless videogames and figurines
5. Bet you can't hit that zed from here
6. If it wasn't for me, you'd be undead right now
7. You know something, it'd feel weird sleeping if I didn't hear them moaning. It's almost soothing.
8. Who'd have thought I'd miss spinach wraps
9. Stop wasting the batteries, it's not like we can get more
10. Just so you know, if you turn I WILL kill you.

[Zombie Reaper]

Honey, grab the water and spam, ignore the mac and cheese.
Huh, who knew that zombie would follow us 40 miles to our BOL.
BREACH, OFFENSIVE ACTION NOW!!!
"He was bit." "Son, can you still hear me?" (weakly) "Yes." "Good, Blow your own head off, I am low on ammo."
If I hear you bitch about missing the internet one more time, zombies will be the least of your worries.
(Just before someone snaps)"5.56, 7.62, 5.56, 7.62, 5.56, 7.62..."
Dude, look at this shit, a bear beating the shit out of a zombie, place your bets.
I used to work with him...BANG!!! He really sucked at his job.
Go figure, no ammo in Houston.

[Flying Lead]

Honey, I know the table looks better over there, BUT it needs to be here to block the door and keep these MF's off of us. Bear with me and hand me some freaking ammo.

[stripe]

"Headshot! +50! Bob, how many more do I need to level up?"

My apologies for reviving an old thread

[DFWMTX]

"Sunuvubitch! The first unburned reading material I find in years and it's the Twightlight saga. Oh well, at least now I got toilet paper."

"I don't care how high in fat it is, how much sodium it has or transfats or any of that shit! I haven't eaten in days!"

[Braxton]

You know on the plus side after the SHTF, with all the destruction and looting, burnt out buildings and whatnot. Property values have doubled.

( you have to live in East St. Louis to get that one )

[john917v]

While standing guard with the boys....

"Man, headshots really do make zombie-skulls burst like melons falling from rooftops!!"

After 'bagging' an undead....

"This is my rifle, this is my gun, this is for fighting, this is for fun!!!" (while romping around triumphantly, behind cover, of course )

And, "Now you're happy I always carry a knife!"

[Tom Foolery]

"Hey, can I borrow your knife?"

"Um, no, I left it in the kidney of the raider that went over the side of the wall."

"Next time, carry two."

[Mr. E. Monkey]

That funny little thing in the wall is what we used to call an outlet. Most of the old ways revolved around the outlet.

[ZM 1306]

I heard there are no zombies at (insert far off and high population location)

This zombie head is perfect for my collection!

Its getting dark... Light a zombie on fire!

I loved swimming, damn sunken zombie corpses.

You were bit! You have a choice, suicide or self sacrifice?

ZOMBIE KILL OF THE WEEK!

Wait! I might be immune!

[Azraeleternity]

I'm going to hell for these:
"Give her a few years. She'll be worth something eventually."
"I'm not selling my daughter. Least, not for anything less than... a carton of cigarettes." "DAD!" "Quiet sweety, daddy is negotiating."
"Well, its the end of the world. How about that [insert sexual favor] now?"
"I TOLD YOU IT WOULD HAPPEN!"
"It's a sad day when there's more 5.56 in the house than matches."
"Thank God for rednecks and lifted trucks."
"See? I told you we should have moved out of California. Why? Two words: fully automatic."

[SeerSavant]

"Fluffy was a good dog...." "Bit gamey if you ask me..."



So, a Cockroach, a Twinky, or a can of Spam... (Maitre d taking orders)



Next Mayan I see, i'm gonna kick his F'n calendar making ass... Couldn't add a few more years, huh...



Decided to wait for the dvd to come out... How the hell was I supposed to know??? Yeah, you loved it, best movie you ever saw....



Yeah, it sucks... But hey, no more taxes




(PAW christmas carol )


It's christmas at ground zero,
and if the radiation level's okay,
I'll go out with you,
And see all the new,
Mutations on New Years Day....

[0122358]

There.... was.. a... FIREFIGHT!!! (que opera music)

Jack...i brought the wrong bullets...(running off) Skinny bullets, SKINNY BULLETS

Hey look...BANG...nevermind...

[Southron Boy]

"It looks like I picked the wrong time to quit drinking."

[Doctorr Fabulous]

"Where ya headed Jim?"
"Trader Joe said there was an intact Lawn Gnome in Bethesda."
Are you nuts? That's more than two hundred miles!"
"Gotta catch 'em all!"

*swinging around a loaded cannon"
"RELEASE THE KRAKEN!!!!"

*while loading punt gun*
"Somebody say 'stopping power?'"

*as buddy prepares to headshot a zed with a bow*
"Take him Legolas!"

"What the frack? Why do all traders have 5.7mm and .300 Whisper?"
"Aren't you glad I invested in a black powder cannon and a BOL with active sulphur, charcoal, and saltpeter supplies?"

And finally:
"Bob, have you noticed that all the survivors seem to be wearing brown trench-coats and talking like space cowboys? Wait, there on the ridge! More survivors---led by Nathan Fillion and Joss Whedon?"

[DFWMTX]

"Hey! Isn't that the girl you broke up with because she never believed anything bad would happen, like power and water outages, low food supplies, or a zombie apocalypse?"

:::looks through binoculars::: "Yeah, that's her!"

"Do you want to shoot her zombie head or should I?"

=======

"Honey, you wouldn't believe this dream I had!"

"Another food dream?"

"Yeah, but it was about that Ethiopian place that used to be on the other side of town."

=======

"You know, this reminds me of that one scene from that zombie movie...."

======

"Hey, it could be worse!"

[Doctorr Fabulous]

"STOP!!! Do NOT shoot George Romero!

[wamba]

"Dude! I don't care how good of shape your HD flatscreen is in, I'm not going to trade you a can of fruit cocktail for it!"

"Welcome to Wambas, today's special is Porch Rabbit stew with acorn bread, dandelion tea, & for dessert we have dried apples. On the board you can see a list of acceptable trade goods."

"Coyote jerky! Opossum jerky! Packrat jerky! Get your jerky here!"

"Good news everybody, tonight we'll be able to have some salt with dinner!"

[HKTackDriver]

Ultimate zombie thread! Resurrected on:
July 24, 2006
October 26, 2010
July 31, 2011

[SeerSavant]

"Dude! I don't care how good of shape your HD flatscreen is in, I'm not going to trade you a can of fruit cocktail for it!"

"Welcome to Wambas, today's special is Porch Rabbit stew with acorn bread, dandelion tea, & for dessert we have dried apples. On the board you can see a list of acceptable trade goods."

"Coyote jerky! Opossum jerky! Packrat jerky! Get your jerky here!"

"Good news everybody, tonight we'll be able to have some salt with dinner!"

When I read this all I could hear was that line read by Cheech Marin from Dusk Til Dawn... Still laughing....

[MacAttack]

"No NO. I don't need any help. I'm just waiting for FEMA and I'm sure the government will have this all figured out soon enough."

[Doctorr Fabulous]

"All this happened because [current governmental administrator] hates [speaker's race/creed/belief]. [Other governmental official] is gonna make sure I get what I deserve!"

"You shot me!"
"You swung a knife at me and promised to cut my head off."
"I'm gonna sue!"

"Where you folks heading?"
"Walmart. Old owner is offering all-you-can-carry for helping him clean out the zeds. Supposed to have a wall outside made of abandoned cars and bodies! Said it's about fifty feet deep."

[wamba]

"I know you don't want to move away honey but marrying the Jones boy will make both families stronger & give us friends upriver. Besides it got a little crazy when things went pear shaped & thanks to your uncles there's a good chance you're related to most of the young men around here close to your age."

"Good news everybody, it looks like we've got enough corn to see us through the winter with enough left over for two plantings!"

"Dammit Frank!! I keep telling you, you can't domesticate the undead! Now knock it off before one of em bites ya."