October Rising ( Formerly Into the Mouth of Hell)

Zombie or Post Apocalyptic themed fiction/stories.

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October Rising ( Formerly Into the Mouth of Hell)

Post by 12_Gauge_Chimp » Tue Jun 29, 2010 6:17 pm

October Rising: A story by 12_Gauge_Chimp ( A big thanks goes to Tater Raider for the new title of the story. :D )
(Note: This is my first attempt at a zombie story and I appreciate any comments you folks might have. Keep in mind that this story is a work in progress, but I will try to update it as often as I can. Thank you for taking the time to read my story and I hope you enjoy it. )


As sounds of gunfire gradually faded from his ears, the only thing Viktor Tarkov heard was his own heavy breathing. The acrid smell of gunpowder hung in the air the way fog would in the early morning. He never got tired of that smell, but he had grown weary of the death that came before it. Viktor had seen enough death to last him the rest of his life, but more death would be seen before the war was over.

Viktor's mind raced back to the first time he saw combat. It was back in 1941 and he was a fresh troop with a new rifle. He was assigned to a unit whose orders were to hold a Russian village long enough to allow the villagers to escape and for them to destroy anything that could be used by the Germans. German soldiers attacked the village from what felt like all directions and the ferocity of the Germans scared many of the young soldiers. Though he was as scared as his fellow soldiers, Viktor was determined to survive long enough to allow the villagers he was protecting to reach safety. Bullets whizzed past his head and impacted the battlements he and his fellow troops had placed the week before. It was a brave fight, but in the end they were forced to retreat and the village fell into German hands.Though his unit had denied the Germans the villages valuable resources, it was Viktor's first taste of combat and his first taste of defeat. Viktor lost many friends during that battle and he would see many more deaths in his years in the Red Army, but one death would always haunt him. The war against Germany was in it's final year and Viktor, like so many others, awaited the day when he could return home and live as a normal man and not as a soldier in the Red Army.



Reality came back to him in the form of his friend, Nikolai. "Tarkov, you ok ?" Nikolai asked, concerned for his comrades well being.
"Da, Kolya, I'm ok." He answered." I just needed a few moments to catch my breath."
Nikolai knew something was troubling his friend, but couldn't quite figure out what it was.
"Good, because Major Danilov wants to see us in his quarters right now." Nikolai said.
"What do you suppose the major wants to see us about ? " Viktor asked
" Don't know, but Comrade Ivanov said it was urgent. " Nikolai replied.
Last edited by 12_Gauge_Chimp on Wed Jun 30, 2010 5:58 pm, edited 5 times in total.

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Re: Into the Mouth of Hell.

Post by 12_Gauge_Chimp » Tue Jun 29, 2010 6:19 pm

The walk to Major Danilov's quarters took a very short time as both men did not want to keep him waiting longer than they had to. Nikolai knocked on the concrete support post that served as the entrance to the majors quarters.
" Come in, Lieutenant Tarkov and Sergeant Romanov." came the answer from inside the small room. Both men entered and saluted.
"I suppose you two are wondering why Major Danilov wanted you here." Commissar Ivanov said.

" Yes sir, Comrade Commissar." Both Viktor and Nikolai responded.
Commissar Ivanov proceeded to show Viktor and Nikolai a captured and translated German intelligence report and told them what the Russian high command (Stavka) had ordered him to do.

"Our intelligence has intercepted a transmission from the Germans. It states that the Germans are calling for reinforcements at a top secret bunker near Berlin. The Stavka wants me to send troops to the area and find the bunker. We can't spare any troops for this mission, but the high command is ordering me to send a squad to investigate just why the Germans are calling for reinforcements. The Americans and British have no troops in that area, so why are they calling for more troops ?" Commissar Ivanov stated.
"What are we supposed to do then, comrade Commissar ?" Viktor asked.
"You and Comrade Romanov are going to take a small squad of men to the area and find out just what the hell is so important to the high command." he responded. "I cannot spare very many men for this mission and the high command knows that, but they want me to send someone to find out why the Germans are calling for help anyway. If there are no more questions, you men can go." Major Danilov stated.

The two friends walked through the muddy camp, passing hastily erected tents and men waiting in line for their daily food rations. Both Viktor and Nikolai wondered just why they had been chosen for what seemed liked a mission best suited for the men of the penal squads. It was highly unusual for Stalin to authorize front line troops to be sent on what was basically a reconnaissance mission.

" Comrades Tarkov and Romanov, how are you guys doing today ? " asked Private Chernov, a soldier whom Viktor and Nikolai both considered to be a pest. He had a big mouth despite being small in stature and he often got into trouble because of it.
"What do you want, Chernov ?" Viktor replied. " If you're after more vodka or cigarettes, talk to Vassiliev, he hoards those things like you wouldn't believe."
"Nyet, I don't need any vodka or smokes. I took Kunyevski's ration of those in a card game two nights ago. Now, what is this I hear of you getting a command assignment ?" Chernov said.
" You had better keep this info to yourself, Chernov." Nikolai replied.
" I'll do my best, now, what is the assignment...."
Last edited by 12_Gauge_Chimp on Thu Jul 01, 2010 2:32 pm, edited 4 times in total.

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Re: Into the Mouth of Hell.

Post by shrapnel » Tue Jun 29, 2010 7:09 pm

Not bad. I'm a little unsure of how I feel about your foreshadowing/some technical term I can't remember- the "something he would soon come to hate" and "it was about to get a lot worse" type things. I'm just not a fan of that, and it feels a little heavy-handed to me. But that might just be me. :wink:
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Re: Into the Mouth of Hell.

Post by 12_Gauge_Chimp » Tue Jun 29, 2010 7:15 pm

shrapnel wrote:Not bad. I'm a little unsure of how I feel about your foreshadowing/some technical term I can't remember- the "something he would soon come to hate" and "it was about to get a lot worse" type things. I'm just not a fan of that, and it feels a little heavy-handed to me. But that might just be me. :wink:
I'll change it up a bit and try to make it a bit less heavy-handed. I may end up just deleting those two lines.
Thanks, Shrapnel.

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Re: October Rising ( Formerly Into the Mouth of Hell)

Post by 12_Gauge_Chimp » Tue Jun 29, 2010 8:36 pm

As the two men walked through the makeshift camp, one of the men assigned to guard the German prisoners taken during the assault on the bunker approached them.
"Comrade Tarkov, may I have a word with you ?" asked Sergeant Vassiliev, the man in charge of the prisoners.
He too was considered an annoyance by both Viktor and Nikolai, but for the most part he was a good man.
"What do you want, Comrade Sergeant ?" Viktor replied.
"Well, I heard of your little assignment from Private Chernov and I thought maybe you could use one of my prisoners." Vassiliev stated.
" Chernov really can't keep his mouth shut, can he ?" Nikolai asked." Remind me to kill him later, Viktor." he added.
" That's if I don't kill him first, Kolya." Viktor said, turning his attention back to Vassiliev.
" What kind of prisoner are you talking about, Vassiliev, because if it's one of the men from penal squads, just shoot the bastard now and save me the trouble." Viktor replied.
" Nyet, it's a German soldier. One with some information about the bunker the commander is looking for." Vassiliev said in a hushed tone.

"Keep talking, Tovarich."
Last edited by 12_Gauge_Chimp on Wed Jun 30, 2010 6:04 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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Re: October Rising ( Formerly Into the Mouth of Hell)

Post by Tater Raider » Tue Jun 29, 2010 8:42 pm

This is getting really interesting.

Glad I could help with the title. Looking forward to reading this.

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Re: October Rising ( Formerly Into the Mouth of Hell)

Post by Mr. E. Monkey » Tue Jun 29, 2010 9:33 pm

I'm liking this, Chimpov. :D
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Re: October Rising ( Formerly Into the Mouth of Hell)

Post by TheGunslinger » Tue Jun 29, 2010 9:43 pm

Not too bad, but needs some work.

A Lieutenant would have command experience - so would a sergeant. After all, he would've been a corporal at some stage in command of a section, so he'd have commanded a squad before.

'The Commander' needs a rank as well. Probably a Major, but could be a Colonel - either way, it's more likely to be an Intelligence Officer attached to the Headquarters giving the briefing, with the Major then sending them off on their way.

Additionally, it's also pretty likely that the HQ would include a Commissar of some description. The Commissar would review the orders (and sit in on the orders group) to ensure that the soldiers are acting in accordance with Party doctrine.

If he wasn't there, I'm sure a junior officer like the LT would be curious about it - even more so, seeing that Soviet soldiers very rarely were sent on missions like this. The Soviets were big fans of 'blunt reconnaissance' during WW2 - i.e, sending a penal battalion (or some Ukranians) forward to see what was there, then figuring out where the Germans guns where by the piles of the dead!

It's really just flavour, but helps make it more 'real', if you know what I mean?
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Re: October Rising ( Formerly Into the Mouth of Hell)

Post by DarkAxel » Wed Jun 30, 2010 9:19 am

Solid story. Sent you a PM.
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Re: October Rising ( Formerly Into the Mouth of Hell)

Post by 12_Gauge_Chimp » Wed Jun 30, 2010 3:50 pm

Ok, so I edited parts of the story and added a new character, Commisar Ivanov, and I also gave the commander a rank and a name as well. I'm going to rework some of the story I've already written and then upload it when I feel the story is a bit more polished.

Thanks to all those who've given me some real great advice and also some info on the Soviet Army during WW2.

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Re: October Rising ( Formerly Into the Mouth of Hell)

Post by Tater Raider » Wed Jun 30, 2010 5:26 pm

Please, folks, public praise and private correction. Writer's ego's, well my ego at least, is a delicate thing and I've seen writers quit in the middle of a story because of one person.

I put this out publically to help out everyone.

Thanks a bunch!




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Re: October Rising ( Formerly Into the Mouth of Hell)

Post by 12_Gauge_Chimp » Wed Jun 30, 2010 5:56 pm

Tater Raider wrote:Please, folks, public praise and private correction. Writer's ego's, well my ego at least, is a delicate thing and I've seen writers quit in the middle of a story because of one person.

I put this out publically to help out everyone.

Thanks a bunch!




Chimpov? Moar pl0x?
I'm still editing the story and my ego can take a pretty good beating. This is the first time I've ever had folks other than myself or family read any of my stories, so I can take all the help I can get. By the way, I'll be adding the edited versions of the first two parts here in a bit.

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Re: October Rising ( Formerly Into the Mouth of Hell)

Post by 12_Gauge_Chimp » Wed Jun 30, 2010 6:12 pm

The prisoner Sergeant Vassiliev was talking about was a German private captured earlier in the day. The boy was no older than 19 or 20 and had not been a soldier in the Wehrmacht for very long before he was captured. Though he was trained by the Germans to show no fear, he was clearly afraid of the imposing looking Soviet standing before him.

"What is your name, boy ?" Viktor asked.

"M-my name is Erich, sir." the boy replied.

"Do you have a last name, Erich ?" Viktor added.

"Krieghoff, sir, my name is Erich Krieghoff." he answered, afraid of what Viktor would do to him if he refused to answer.

" Well, Erich Krieghoff, my name is Lieutenant Viktor Grigorevich Tarkov and the man behind me is Sergeant Nikolai Mikhaylovich Romanov. It has come to our attention that you may have some information about a certain bunker near Berlin. How exactly do you know of it ? " Viktor asked.

The boy spoke of walking with his brother in the forest that surrounded the bunker and of seeing men bringing in equipment that was nothing like he had ever seen before. Some of the soldiers assigned to the bunker had seen him and chased him off. What he had seen that day had always occupied a small corner of his mind and after overhearing Private Chernov talk about it, he figured he could be of more use to the Russians as a guide instead of as a prisoner.

"Do you have any idea what the bunker was used for ?" Viktor asked.

"Nein, but I can tell you they were bringing in a lot equipment very early in the war, more than usual. Like there was something else going on in there other than the usual things." Krieghoff answered.

"Could it be a fall back position for Hitler and his cabinet members ?" Nikolai asked.

"That I'm unsure of, but I highly doubt the Fuhrer would go that far from the capital." Krieghoff answered." Besides, I'm a lowly Private in the Wehrmacht, I only get told who to shoot and when to do it, never anything pertaining to the Fuhrer other than what our propaganda tells us."

"That is true, Viktor. It's almost like us with the Ukrainians, we tell them only what they need to hear at the time." Nikolai added.

"Erich, I'm going to ask my superior if you can be turned over to me and have you escort us to the bunker." Viktor stated.

Viktor walked to Major Danilov's quarters and went over his request with him. Hopefully, the Major would allow Viktor to take Krieghoff with him as a guide. If not, Krieghoff would be sent to a Soviet gulag and would very likely never see Germany again.

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Re: October Rising ( Formerly Into the Mouth of Hell)

Post by TheGunslinger » Wed Jun 30, 2010 6:16 pm

That's a fair point about public praise and private criticism. I should have forwarded my comments in a PM. Sorry, Chimpov!

Reading through it with a named Major and a Commissar there as well I feel adds a lot of flavour. :)
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Re: October Rising ( Formerly Into the Mouth of Hell)

Post by 12_Gauge_Chimp » Wed Jun 30, 2010 6:22 pm

TheGunslinger wrote:That's a fair point about public praise and private criticism. I should have forwarded my comments in a PM. Sorry, Chimpov!

Reading through it with a named Major and a Commissar there as well I feel adds a lot of flavour. :)
No worries, Gunslinger. :D

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Re: October Rising ( Formerly Into the Mouth of Hell)

Post by 12_Gauge_Chimp » Wed Jun 30, 2010 6:42 pm

"Sir, I have a small favor to ask you." Viktor said.
"What is it, Comrade Tarkov ?" Major Danilov answered, pouring himself a cup of tea from a samovar. " Would you like a cup of tea as well, Tarkov ?" he added.
"No sir, but thank you for the offer." Viktor replied," Sir, Sergeant Vassiliev has brought to my attention that he has a German prisoner who has information on the bunker we are looking for. My request is that he is turned over to me and Sergeant Romanov for the mission so that we are not just blindly running around behind enemy lines without any idea of where we are going or even where we are."
The major leaned back in his chair and sighed. He knew Viktor was capable of handling Krieghoff, but he also knew what his superiors would do to him if Krieghoff escaped and found any Germans in the area.
"You are asking very big favor, Comrade Tarkov. I'll grant you this request, but if he escapes and informs the Germans of our intentions, I'll have you, Comrade Romanov and Comrade Vassiliev shot." he stated.

Viktor saluted Major Danilov and left the room. The major's words hung over his head like fog on the battlefield and he knew the major was serious when he said he'd have them shot if Krieghoff escaped. Viktor had seen firsthand what happened to soldiers who did not follow orders. He had seen Commissars (Russian political officers) shoot officers if they questioned Stalin's orders.

Elsewhere in the camp, Nikolai had assembled some of the other soldiers and informed them of the mission he and Viktor had been assigned.

"Comrades, we have been given an assignment that is of great importance. We are to infiltrate a secret German bunker and gather as much intelligence as possible. Now, where this bunker is exactly is unknown to us at this time, but we have someone familiar with the area going with us." Nikolai said to the group of men.
Viktor arrived just as Nikolai was finishing his announcement.
"Ah, Comrade Tarkov, do you have anything else to add ?" Nikolai asked.
"Da, Sergeant Romanov. We will be leaving from this spot in three hours. I suggest you bring enough equipment to last you a few days because we will not be coming back to the base until we have completed the mission. That is all." Viktor stated.
The chatter amongst the men prompted Viktor to make an additional statement.
"Comrades, you are not being forced to join us, you can leave at anytime between now and the three hour departure time." He said.", but I suggest you think long and hard about it. It's either join us or stay here and wait for orders to move on."

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Re: October Rising ( Formerly Into the Mouth of Hell)

Post by Narshalla » Wed Jun 30, 2010 10:49 pm

Are you all done with this? Because it's good, and I'd like to read more.

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Re: October Rising ( Formerly Into the Mouth of Hell)

Post by 12_Gauge_Chimp » Wed Jun 30, 2010 10:54 pm

Narshalla wrote:Are you all done with this? Because it's good, and I'd like to read more.
Nope, there's still plenty more to come. I'm currently editing the newest part and I'll add that one tomorrow.

Thanks for reading my story and I'm glad you like it. :D

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Re: October Rising ( Formerly Into the Mouth of Hell)

Post by 12_Gauge_Chimp » Thu Jul 01, 2010 1:35 pm

Three hours later, as Viktor and Nikolai waited for the men at the designated meeting place, only three of the seven men who they had originally chosen joined them.
"Well, it's nice to see the men have faith in us, Comrade Tarkov." Nikolai said, jokingly.
"I have more faith in my Mosin than I do in some of these so called soldiers, Kolya." came Viktor's reply.
The men who showed up were Private Chernov along with Privates Kunyevski and Sergeyavich.
"We're still missing the German, Comrade Tarkov." Nikolai said.
"Sergeant Vassiliev is waiting for us at the gate with him, Comrade Romanov." Viktor replied.

Viktor had arranged for Vassiliev to meet him at the gates of the hastily built base with Private Krieghoff, to avoid any altercations with some of the other troops. After all, the Germans were not very well liked by the men of Viktor's platoon and with good reason. Most of the men had lost family to German bullets and bayonets, Viktor himself lost two brothers. The loss of his brothers was one thing that deeply affected Viktor, but they had gone out fighting and Viktor could be proud of that. He only hoped that if it was his time to go, he could go out the same way his brothers did.

The prisoner transfer of Private Krieghoff went without any problems and to avoid any suspicion, Viktor had Krieghoff dressed in Russian clothing.
" I feel a bit strange wearing the uniform of an enemy, sir." Krieghoff said to Viktor.
" I understand it is a bit unusual, but it's necessary to avoid any suspicion from the regular troops, Krieghoff." Viktor replied. " and in the unlikely event should you try to escape from us and succeed, any Germans you find will think you are one of us and shoot you. That's if we don't do it first." With that, Viktor walked off.
" Was he serious, sir ?" Krieghoff asked Nikolai as he passed. "Viktor is always serious, Krigehoff. Deathly serious." Nikolai responded. "And he has good reason to be that way."
" Why is that, if I may ask ?" Krieghoff asked.
" Viktor lost two brothers to German bullets early in the war. He has also seen too much death for a man of his age." Nikolai responded. "For your own safety, I'd suggest you not ask him more than you have to, Krieghoff."

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Re: October Rising ( Formerly Into the Mouth of Hell)

Post by 12_Gauge_Chimp » Thu Jul 01, 2010 4:30 pm

The men walked for what seemed like hours to a small town that had already been gone through by advancing Soviet troops. The smell of gunpowder and blood was everywhere and the signs of a fierce battle were still very much visible in the streets. What had once been a quiet German town was now shelled to oblivion with very few buildings escaping destruction. Viktor stopped the men in what had been the town square and gave orders to search for any kind of supplies or any survivors.

"Search the houses and the bodies, see if you can find anything useful. I'll give double vodka rations to the man who finds me a map of the area." Viktor ordered. " Private Krieghoff, do you recognise the area ?" he added.

"Nein, I don't know this village, sir." Krieghoff replied. "But I do know the area. The woods where my brother and I saw the bunker are not too far from here."

The men searched the remaining buildings of the village for anything of use, with the promise of additional vodka being something the men couldn't refuse. Now all they needed to do was find a map.

"Hey, Chernov, look at this. What do you make of it ?" Private Sergeyavich said.

"What the hell is that, it looks like some kind of bite on the soldier's neck. Like a man bit him or something." Chernov asked, looking over a dead German soldier.

"Maybe he got into a close fight with one of our guys." Sergeyavich replied.

"Could be, Sergeyavich, " Chernov said. "Do we tell Comrade Tarkov ?"

"Nah, this is unimportant. Besides, he wants a map of the area more than anything else." Sergeyavich replied.

Nikolai called the men back to the town square and had them report what they found.

"Well, boys, what did you find ?" Romanov asked.

The men each stated what they found, which was mostly dead Germans and Russians.
"Did anyone find a map or something that would state where we are ?" Tarkov asked, taking a sip from his vodka flask.
"Nyet, Comrade Tarkov." Corporal Kunyevski replied. "All we found was some ammunition, a few rifles and dead bodies, but no maps. Perhaps the troops who fought here took them all." Sergeyevich said.

"That could be, Sergeyevich. Who knows how long ago this village was gone through." Romanov replied. "Comrade Tarkov, what do we do now ?"
" We continue on to the next village. Krieghoff mentioned that the woods where the bunker is located in this area." Viktor replied.

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Re: October Rising ( Formerly Into the Mouth of Hell)

Post by DarkAxel » Thu Jul 01, 2010 6:10 pm

I like where this is going.

So, ahem, MOAR!!!
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Re: October Rising ( Formerly Into the Mouth of Hell)

Post by maldon007 » Fri Jul 02, 2010 12:56 pm

Wir wollen mehr!
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Re: October Rising ( Formerly Into the Mouth of Hell)

Post by 12_Gauge_Chimp » Fri Jul 02, 2010 6:02 pm

The next village yielded little more info than the previous one, including another soldier with a bite on his neck.
" What would bite a man like that, Comrade Tarkov ?" asked Nikolai.

"I do not know, but I have seen marks like that before." Viktor replied.

" Where ?" Nikolai asked

" The last village, there was a soldier propped up next to a table with a wound like that. It looked like he got up close with either a dog or one of our more mouthy soldiers, Kolya." Viktor replied

" Lieutenant Tarkov, come quick, I found something you might want to see." called out Krieghoff.

"What is it, Krieghoff ?" He asked. " The bunker is this way, I remember this path to the river." Krieghoff answered.

Krieghoff led the men to where he had seen soldiers unload equipment and bring it into the bunker years before. True to his word, the bunker was exactly where he had remembered it.
"Chernov, Sergeyevich, you two clear the entrance, Romanov, Kunyevski and I will follow." Viktor said.

The entrance was easy to clear, considering there were no signs the Germans had used this bunker in quite some time. A pair of decomposing bodies lay at the entrance, along with a few spent shells. No one noticed that the bullet holes they found were all aimed back into the bunker, as if the men who fired the shots were trying keep someone or something from escaping. No Russian or any other soldiers had even known the location of the bunker, but from what the men had seen, a terrible battle had taken place there.

The deeper the men walked into the bunker the more it was evident that this was no ordinary bunker system. For one, it contained more scientific equipment than guns or artillery.
"What the hell happened here ? " Nikolai asked, looking at the bloodshed in front of him.
" Maybe someone snapped and took out their aggression on the only people he could find. Not that any of his victims weren't deserving of this." replied Kunyevski.

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FrANkNstEin
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Re: October Rising ( Formerly Into the Mouth of Hell)

Post by FrANkNstEin » Sat Jul 03, 2010 3:29 am

Good Story, comrade Chimpov! :mrgreen:

"feel free" to proceed. No, wait.... towarish: this is an order! Now proceed, dawai! dawai! :P

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