What are your top zombie apocalypse survival strategies?

[arrowolf]

I'm going with the Phil_in_CS Strategy.

[tookieblueeyes]

Have one over for DINNER!

[squinty]

My top plan for the zombie apocalypse ? Run like hell and hope I don't become a human Happy Meal.

I may become a meal, but I damn sure won't be a happy one. And the toy that comes inside me? Nobody wants it, I promise.

I'm going to re-locate up the dirt road a little ways to the old family farm......Where our 300 gallon diesel tank will keep our 18,000 watt generator running for weeks and weeks, and we'll slaughter a few cows and live off of beef jerky, pecans, satsumas and scuppernongs with the occasional "mess-o'-squirrels".

Sounds great. The only flaw I see in that plan is the part where you have to wait for the ZA before heading up the road. I'd be tempted to stock up on a little beer and just pretend the ZA was happening every couple weekends.

[ElevenBravo]

Move fast, and make reloads smoothly... And keep moving fast... Until I cannot see, hear or smell anything of harm. Then keep moving... (for safe measure)

Andrew

[azrael99]

seriously

go at the cabin into the mountain at the first sign of problem, before there is crown of living or undead in the street. otherwise. bug in my actual position and make it as good as it can be until i can move to a safer place.

[dizie]

Dont understand why people say they would go to a prison. Last I checked there full of bad people!!

The best answer ive heard, rural. Get as far from people as you can.

And wal-mart, hellz no. Hate going there when I have to. Spend 2 dam hours in there walking back and forth, back and forth. Ow yah and God for bid if you forget something and have to walk a 1/2 mile just to get some juice. Sorry bout the rant, just got back from walmart.

Side note, wonder if there could be a vegetarian zombie?
How long could a zombie go with out eating?

[squinty]

If there were a vegetarian zombie, who would be scared of it?

"Oh no, there's another dang zombie in the tomato patch!"
"Sigh. Get the shotgun - at least it isn't weevils."

If the Zombie Apocalypse happened while I was at Wal-Mart - and let's be clear, I probably will be at Wal-Mart 'cause it seems like I'm always there - I'm not sure I'd notice. In fact, I tend to get so fatigued after a protracted shopping trip and long wait at the register that I could be mistaken for a zombie, or a real zombie mistaken for a hapless shopper like me. It would get confusing.

The alternative - which I prefer - is to wait until the wee hours to do my Wal-Martian business, but then I can't buy ammo, and I still look like a zombie from being up late.

The only thing worse than shopping at wal-mart is driving twice as far and going to three different stores instead of just one store to buy my stuff, and paying more for it. So I'll keep shopping at Wal-Mart, while I kvetch about Wal-Mart, and brace myself for being at THE stereotypical worst place to be when the dead rise up.

[Tetra Grammaton Cleric]

Wal-Martian.

Is that word in the American Lexicon? Because it fucking should be, lol.

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[squinty]

Wal-Martian.

Is that word in the American Lexicon? Because it fucking should be, lol.

-

I use it as an adjective to describe all activities related to Wal-Mart that don't involve gun or ammo purchases. For those weapon related shopping trips I prefer "Wal-Martial."

If I die at a Wal-Mart using those aforementioned weapons and ammo to stave off a zombie horde, I think that would make me a "Wal-Martyr."

If I feel so much dread about going to Wal-Mart that I need to get drunk before entering the store, I mix up a "Wal-Martini."

back when I worked at Wal-Mart, I hated my strict boss. A real Wal-Martinet.

Somebody stop me...

[Tetra Grammaton Cleric]

Wal-Martian.

Is that word in the American Lexicon? Because it fucking should be, lol.

-

I use it as an adjective to describe all activities related to Wal-Mart that don't involve gun or ammo purchases. For those weapon related shopping trips I prefer "Wal-Martial."

If I die at a Wal-Mart using those aforementioned weapons and ammo to stave off a zombie horde, I think that would make me a "Wal-Martyr."

If I feel so much dread about going to Wal-Mart that I need to get drunk before entering the store, I mix up a "Wal-Martini."

You're welcome, language!

In the zombocalypse there will need to be some sort of civil rights movement for the Wal-Martians...

Maybe you could be Wal-Martin Luther King?

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[squinty]

Wal-Martian.

Is that word in the American Lexicon? Because it fucking should be, lol.

-

I use it as an adjective to describe all activities related to Wal-Mart that don't involve gun or ammo purchases. For those weapon related shopping trips I prefer "Wal-Martial."

If I die at a Wal-Mart using those aforementioned weapons and ammo to stave off a zombie horde, I think that would make me a "Wal-Martyr."

If I feel so much dread about going to Wal-Mart that I need to get drunk before entering the store, I mix up a "Wal-Martini."

You're welcome, language!

In the zombocalypse there will need to be some sort of civil rights movement for the Wal-Martians...

Maybe you could be Wal-Martin Luther King?

-

Or I could just nail up some suggestions for reform on the outside of a Sam's Club door...

One suggestion could be to finance a subway stop that opened up in the entrance to a Wal-Mart, for shoppers' convenience. A Wal-MARTA....

[Tetra Grammaton Cleric]

Or I could just nail up some suggestions for reform on the outside of a Sam's Club door...

Very nice.

One suggestion could be to finance a subway stop that opened up in the entrance to a Wal-Mart, for shoppers' convenience. A Wal-MARTA....

Wouldn't that only apply to Georgia Wal-Martians?

Also, if there's going to be a nation of Wal-Martians rising up out of the zombocalypse you're going to need a new flag. Since Betsy Ross is most likely a mere husk of a zombie by then, might I suggest Wal-Martha Stewart?

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[squinty]

Or I could just nail up some suggestions for reform on the outside of a Sam's Club door...

Very nice.

One suggestion could be to finance a subway stop that opened up in the entrance to a Wal-Mart, for shoppers' convenience. A Wal-MARTA....

Wouldn't that only apply to Georgia Wal-Martians?

Also, if there's going to be a nation of Wal-Martians rising up out of the zombocalypse you're going to need a new flag. Since Betsy Ross is most likely a mere husk of a zombie by then, might I suggest Wal-Martha Stewart?

-

A nation rising up will face many enemies and require a strong military leader to unite disparate stores, defeat the zombie hordes and help build the new empire. We can only hope for a Charles Wal-Martel. He could have his own overture.

Pre-eminent philosopher of the new regime? Wal-Martin Buber, of course.

[Tetra Grammaton Cleric]

Or I could just nail up some suggestions for reform on the outside of a Sam's Club door...

Very nice.

One suggestion could be to finance a subway stop that opened up in the entrance to a Wal-Mart, for shoppers' convenience. A Wal-MARTA....

Wouldn't that only apply to Georgia Wal-Martians?

Also, if there's going to be a nation of Wal-Martians rising up out of the zombocalypse you're going to need a new flag. Since Betsy Ross is most likely a mere husk of a zombie by then, might I suggest Wal-Martha Stewart?

-

A nation rising up will face many enemies and require a strong military leader to unite disparate stores, defeat the zombie hordes and help build the new empire. We can only hope for a Charles Wal-Martel. He could have his own overture.

Pre-eminent philosopher of the new regime? Wal-Martin Buber, of course.

Officially approved livestock of the new Wal-Martian nation?

Wal-Martins.

The Wal-Martians will need to maintain good fencing though...

To protect their Wal-Martins from being preyed upon by Wal-Martens.

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[squinty]

Or I could just nail up some suggestions for reform on the outside of a Sam's Club door...

Very nice.

One suggestion could be to finance a subway stop that opened up in the entrance to a Wal-Mart, for shoppers' convenience. A Wal-MARTA....

Wouldn't that only apply to Georgia Wal-Martians?

Also, if there's going to be a nation of Wal-Martians rising up out of the zombocalypse you're going to need a new flag. Since Betsy Ross is most likely a mere husk of a zombie by then, might I suggest Wal-Martha Stewart?

-

A nation rising up will face many enemies and require a strong military leader to unite disparate stores, defeat the zombie hordes and help build the new empire. We can only hope for a Charles Wal-Martel. He could have his own overture.

Pre-eminent philosopher of the new regime? Wal-Martin Buber, of course.

Officially approved livestock of the new Wal-Martian nation?

Wal-Martins

-

And our armies shall be shod with Wal-Martens.

[Tetra Grammaton Cleric]

And our armies shall be shod with Wal-Martens.

Should be plenty of Wal-Marten pelts to make Wal-Martens out of, what with all the stampeding people leaving the cities in the initial phases of the Zombocalypse...



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[squinty]

And our anthem? The Wal-Marseillaise!

[Tetra Grammaton Cleric]

And our armies will be armed with Wal-Marttiini Knives.

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[squinty]

And we'll defend our territory by building the Great Wall of...um...Mart.

I got nothin' left.

[Tetra Grammaton Cleric]

And we'll defend our territory by building the Great Wall of...um...Mart.

Or we could just go in search of our space brothers...

Start anew...

Unless of course, you know - that's a problem for the Wal-Martians.


But alas, I fear the Zombocalypse may be universal so going to Wal-Mars may not get us anywhere.



We're fucked.



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[squinty]

And we'll defend our territory by building the Great Wall of...um...Mart.

Or we could just go in search of our space brothers...

Start anew...

Unless of course, you know - that's a problem for the Wal-Martians.


But alas, I fear the Zombocalypse may be universal so going to Wal-Mars may not get us anywhere.



We're fucked.



-

W emay be fucked - but we derailed the sheet out of this thread

[Tetra Grammaton Cleric]

And we'll defend our territory by building the Great Wall of...um...Mart.

Or we could just go in search of our space brothers...

Start anew...

Unless of course, you know - that's a problem for the Wal-Martians.


But alas, I fear the Zombocalypse may be universal so going to Wal-Mars may not get us anywhere.



We're fucked.



-

W emay be fucked - but we derailed the sheet out of this thread

Well, technically we were just workshopping our zombie apocalypse survival strategies. On topic I say! Our cause was just!

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[dizie]

WOW, train derailled. Lmao thow.

Need a wal-dictionary

[RickOShea]

A prison would be great for SHTF.....Unless the local Big-Bad has access to a tank or APC.