How would YOU kill a zombie?

[Lionheart]

Various insidious traps. And some long range face shooting.

[Funkenstein]

Until their brain boils. Then they flop over onto that buried gas tank and cut off your method of retreat.

[Trent]

Liquid Nitrogen + ball pin hammer + zombie = fun!

[Sgtlucky1987]

Fire!! The Biblical strength cleanser!!!!!!

That is the funniest thing I have read in a while.

As for me, well I live in a coldasac that has a downward slope all around and peaks up in the center, so I would use an A** ton of bleach and lime make a mini circular mote of death, and then I would post up on my roof and shoot some mofo's in the face, and once I ran out of ammo, I'm taking a lawn mower and bat and going to town in some rubber boots.

[Fire Arms]

"Just shoot them in the head."

That's the right answer, by the way. Every zombie movie seems to confirm it. But, if we're just doing this as an exercise in creativity...

1. Shoot in head with firearm.
2. Shoot in head with bow & arrow (my current ones might be inadequate but good ones would work)
3. Crush skull with pick handle
4. Crush skull with aluminum baseball bat
5. Crush skull with claw hammer
6. Split skull with Gerber Sport Axe (in BOB).
7. Split skull with Woodman's Pal.
8. Split skull with tomahawk.
9. Split skull with khukri (current one isn't very sharp or well made)
10. Split skull with machete (I am skeptical about the effectiveness of this)
11. Bash in head with shovel
12. Bash in head with e-tool
13. Bash in head with metal-headed cane
14. Bash in head with holly wood walking stick
15. Bash in head with Maglite
16. Run over skull with Jeep Cherokee
17. Spear in head with atlatl (I'm not good enough to actually do this, I think)
18. Stomp in its head with my boot
19. Push it down the stairs into the basement, then drop something heavy on its head
20. Trap it in a building, then set the building on fire
21. Push it through a hole in the ice, deal with it in the spring.
22. Push it out of an airplane (don't own one of these, but, you know...I fly on them sometimes...)
23. Push in front of el train (this method is definitely lethal, there are at least a couple of el suicides each year here)
24. Push into shark tank at Shedd Aquarium, Sea World, etc. (might result in zombie sharks, or the zombie might kill the sharks)
25. Send it back in time to fight dinosaurs

Um...that's all I've got.

First of why send it back in time to fight dinos?If it bites something you just (censored) the entire world(i say this cuse many movies indicate biting is #1 way to spread the Zomb disease.) Second You gotta have some god damn balls to do any of that which involves getting in the face of a zombie,doubt it'll stay still long enough to let you do half the stuff.Third what are you doing runnin'g into a zombie with a whatever it was,If he get's stuck on the front wind sheild hope you did'nt lock the doors.Fourthly stomp it?you been playing to much Gears of War?Hope you put some salt on your foot.Fifthly why would you set a building on fire?You know what's worse then a god damn zomb?A god damn zomb who has been set aflame?Why is this a bad idea?He'd set the entire city on fire and even he did'nt the building would do that all by itself and you just set A BUILDING ON FIRE,No matter where you live you'll be arrested unless the building was full of Zombs.Other then these i think your How to kill a zombie ideas are genuis.OOOH AND WHAT?AIRPLANE?PUSH IT OUT?IF YOU TOUCH THE (censored HE"D PULL YOU CLOSER and.......at least you'd see what the inside of it's stomach looks like.Sorry if the caps make you seem like a total (censored).

PS.How did it get on a plane???

[zXzGrifterzXz]

I plan on killing zombies by decapitating them with my razor sharp wit.

[animalu]

I'd grab one of the outstretched arms, set the zombie on the floor, immobilize it and keep it's hands behind it's back with pink fluffy handcuffs. It'd drag it by the feet into the hallway outside the livingroom, and take it's shoes off, replacing them with the high heel red ones my girlfriend wears. My girlfriend would videotape this from the livingroom. After putting on it's shoes, I'd hold it by the hair, and extend a hand to my girlfriend, palm up. She'd give me two chopsticks, and wipe my forehead quietly, all on camera. After that, she'd get to the livingroom, just left of the doorway, holding only the camera through the door frame, so she'd be out of view. I'd pull the zombie's hair/head backwards, and put the two chopsticks quite deep into it's nostrils, so that they stick. I'd pull the thing backwards on it's knees, then on it's feet, and slip by it into the livingroom, where I'd take the can of whipped cream and pour a big heart on my naked chest, beckoning the zombie. Girlfriend shifts the camera from the zed to me and back to him. He starts walking towards me, moaning. Girlfriend gives me the thumb up, retreating from the doorway. As the zombie enters the livingroom, it passes the girlfriend. I wave and talk dirty, to distract it. Girlfriend tosses me the camera over the zombie's shoulder, I do a closeup on it's face, then I zoom out slowly.. girlfriend is behind it, pulling the rug from under it's feet. It falls flat on it's belly, chopsticks go inside the brain, naked girlfriend jumps and waves at the camera, I pick some whipped cream off my chest, lick the finger, and start uploading the video on youtube.

[Sgtlucky1987]

I'd grab one of the outstretched arms, set the zombie on the floor, immobilize it and keep it's hands behind it's back with pink fluffy handcuffs. It'd drag it by the feet into the hallway outside the livingroom, and take it's shoes off, replacing them with the high heel red ones my girlfriend wears. My girlfriend would videotape this from the livingroom. After putting on it's shoes, I'd hold it by the hair, and extend a hand to my girlfriend, palm up. She'd give me two chopsticks, and wipe my forehead quietly, all on camera. After that, she'd get to the livingroom, just left of the doorway, holding only the camera through the door frame, so she'd be out of view. I'd pull the zombie's hair/head backwards, and put the two chopsticks quite deep into it's nostrils, so that they stick. I'd pull the thing backwards on it's knees, then on it's feet, and slip by it into the livingroom, where I'd take the can of whipped cream and pour a big heart on my naked chest, beckoning the zombie. Girlfriend shifts the camera from the zed to me and back to him. He starts walking towards me, moaning. Girlfriend gives me the thumb up, retreating from the doorway. As the zombie enters the livingroom, it passes the girlfriend. I wave and talk dirty, to distract it. Girlfriend tosses me the camera over the zombie's shoulder, I do a closeup on it's face, then I zoom out slowly.. girlfriend is behind it, pulling the rug from under it's feet. It falls flat on it's belly, chopsticks go inside the brain, naked girlfriend jumps and waves at the camera, I pick some whipped cream off my chest, lick the finger, and start uploading the video on youtube.

classic manuveur.

[Lionheart]

I'd grab one of the outstretched arms, set the zombie on the floor, immobilize it and keep it's hands behind it's back with pink fluffy handcuffs. It'd drag it by the feet into the hallway outside the livingroom, and take it's shoes off, replacing them with the high heel red ones my girlfriend wears. My girlfriend would videotape this from the livingroom. After putting on it's shoes, I'd hold it by the hair, and extend a hand to my girlfriend, palm up. She'd give me two chopsticks, and wipe my forehead quietly, all on camera. After that, she'd get to the livingroom, just left of the doorway, holding only the camera through the door frame, so she'd be out of view. I'd pull the zombie's hair/head backwards, and put the two chopsticks quite deep into it's nostrils, so that they stick. I'd pull the thing backwards on it's knees, then on it's feet, and slip by it into the livingroom, where I'd take the can of whipped cream and pour a big heart on my naked chest, beckoning the zombie. Girlfriend shifts the camera from the zed to me and back to him. He starts walking towards me, moaning. Girlfriend gives me the thumb up, retreating from the doorway. As the zombie enters the livingroom, it passes the girlfriend. I wave and talk dirty, to distract it. Girlfriend tosses me the camera over the zombie's shoulder, I do a closeup on it's face, then I zoom out slowly.. girlfriend is behind it, pulling the rug from under it's feet. It falls flat on it's belly, chopsticks go inside the brain, naked girlfriend jumps and waves at the camera, I pick some whipped cream off my chest, lick the finger, and start uploading the video on youtube.

classic manuveur.

Brilliant as well.

[Lucretius]

How about... smearing a hand grenade with fresh brains? Success guaranteed!



You'd have to have a good supply of cadavers, though.

[Mr. E. Monkey]

"Just shoot them in the head."

That's the right answer, by the way. Every zombie movie seems to confirm it. But, if we're just doing this as an exercise in creativity...

1. Shoot in head with firearm.
2. Shoot in head with bow & arrow (my current ones might be inadequate but good ones would work)
3. Crush skull with pick handle
4. Crush skull with aluminum baseball bat
5. Crush skull with claw hammer
6. Split skull with Gerber Sport Axe (in BOB).
7. Split skull with Woodman's Pal.
8. Split skull with tomahawk.
9. Split skull with khukri (current one isn't very sharp or well made)
10. Split skull with machete (I am skeptical about the effectiveness of this)
11. Bash in head with shovel
12. Bash in head with e-tool
13. Bash in head with metal-headed cane
14. Bash in head with holly wood walking stick
15. Bash in head with Maglite
16. Run over skull with Jeep Cherokee
17. Spear in head with atlatl (I'm not good enough to actually do this, I think)
18. Stomp in its head with my boot
19. Push it down the stairs into the basement, then drop something heavy on its head
20. Trap it in a building, then set the building on fire
21. Push it through a hole in the ice, deal with it in the spring.
22. Push it out of an airplane (don't own one of these, but, you know...I fly on them sometimes...)
23. Push in front of el train (this method is definitely lethal, there are at least a couple of el suicides each year here)
24. Push into shark tank at Shedd Aquarium, Sea World, etc. (might result in zombie sharks, or the zombie might kill the sharks)
25. Send it back in time to fight dinosaurs

Um...that's all I've got.

First of why send it back in time to fight dinos?If it bites something you just (censored) the entire world(i say this cuse many movies indicate biting is #1 way to spread the Zomb disease.) Second You gotta have some god damn balls to do any of that which involves getting in the face of a zombie,doubt it'll stay still long enough to let you do half the stuff.Third what are you doing runnin'g into a zombie with a whatever it was,If he get's stuck on the front wind sheild hope you did'nt lock the doors.Fourthly stomp it?you been playing to much Gears of War?Hope you put some salt on your foot.Fifthly why would you set a building on fire?You know what's worse then a god damn zomb?A god damn zomb who has been set aflame?Why is this a bad idea?He'd set the entire city on fire and even he did'nt the building would do that all by itself and you just set A BUILDING ON FIRE,No matter where you live you'll be arrested unless the building was full of Zombs.Other then these i think your How to kill a zombie ideas are genuis.OOOH AND WHAT?AIRPLANE?PUSH IT OUT?IF YOU TOUCH THE (censored HE"D PULL YOU CLOSER and.......at least you'd see what the inside of it's stomach looks like.Sorry if the caps make you seem like a total (censored).

PS.How did it get on a plane???

[PatchyMan]

Let's see...

-Take the reading lamp next to my bed and smash it's somewhat-dead face in, while screaming "DURKA DURKA DURKIE!!!!"

-shove it in the industrial-size freezer in my downstairs. Wait until I absolutely HAVE to get to the ice cream.

-Axe body spray+match+duct tape. Ya, you can see where this is going.

-Stab two sporks in it's eyes (or eyesockets) and watch while it stumbles around blindly and amuse myself by doing...things...

[Mr. E. Monkey]

Just for giggles. Use a snare to catch it by a foot...stump...whatever. Hang it upside down from a tree. Pinata!

(no, I'm not recommending this)

[AssistncefrmaDstnce]

I don't get up in the middle of the night and walk to the pisser without a sidearm, so I'd draw, explode his noggin', check for other threats and then call my buddies to brag about being the first kid on my block with a confirmed zed kill.

[MilknCheese]

Well, I've posted this elsewhere but it seems just as appropriate here...

I'd use this

in conjunction with this


Wile E. Coyote style shennanigans ensues...

[GEAR771]

Well, I've posted this elsewhere but it seems just as appropriate here...

I'd use this

in conjunction with this


Wile E. Coyote style shennanigans ensues...

Lmao, awsome

[madwolf]

Brilliant!!!!

[nimdabew]

Let's see if I can do this from memory...

1 nuke cola quantum
1 tin can
1 arbox cleaner
1 can turpentine

Mix and set aside.

Then

1 cherry bomb
1 lunch box of sufficent size
1 sensor module
10 bottle caps

Set on ground after combines. Then I would pop the cap off of a nuke cola and wait for the zed to come

[Korv]

__________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________

[Wrecking Ball]

since i have no guns, but a metal baseball bat in my room, if ONE were to come near me i would bash its face in, if it goes down - break it's legs, then grab a big knife i have in my kitchen and stab it in the head.

if a full horde charged my house, I'm BONED..

[ninja steve]

Let's see if I can do this from memory...

1 nuke cola quantum
1 tin can
1 arbox cleaner
1 can turpentine

Mix and set aside.

Then

1 cherry bomb
1 lunch box of sufficent size
1 sensor module
10 bottle caps

Set on ground after combines. Then I would pop the cap off of a nuke cola and wait for the zed to come

An experimental MIRV maybe?

[aydon]

If we're talking about just a single zed in a confined space with me, I would either use a low caliber pistol to finish it off fast without any risk to me, even though it will pull attraction to me. If I don't have a gun nearby, I would go for the nearest blunt object.

If there is space between me and the zed:
...and they are capable of running, I would try to run to the nearest cover and bunker down because after I shoot the one chasing me, the noise is going to attract all the other runners near me. A horde will ensue.
...and they are slow, just run.

[justsomeguy]

12 gauge with buckshot- in head.

[ackbar]

I would run into the mob with my phone cord wrapped katana while screaming "una salus victus" :p