Why Bear Grylls sucks.

Zombie and/or other Post-Apocalyptic related movies for us to study and know what not to do.

Moderator: ZS Global Moderators

wanderingwaldo
* * *
Posts: 468
Joined: Tue Mar 18, 2008 12:09 am
Location: City of Angels (and Demons)

Why Bear Grylls sucks.

Post by wanderingwaldo » Sun Apr 21, 2013 4:09 pm

Image
Bear Grylls is the antithesis of survival, a shill, a whore, and a fraud.
A few reasons:

1) Puke factor: puking is one of the worst possible things you can do in a survival scenario; it robs the body of nutrition and moisture. I have never seen another "guru" eat so many vile, disgusting, putrid, and parisite ridden things as Bear. He seems to puke in every other episode. His practice of eating raw insects is particularly troubling as transmissible parasites are often found in the guts of insects. Grasshoppers are among the worst carrying a plethora of worms in their guts. Eat grasshoppers and bugs (as long as you do not have a shellfish allergy), just cook them first. Bear's survival staples consist of raw insects, rotten carrion, marginal plant foods, shit and piss. This is all about the shock factor and most of his primary food gathering techniques are tertiary or extreme emergency food sources for a knowledgeable survivor.
Image
Image

2) Energy expenditure: Using as little energy as possible is best in a survival scenario. Along with this avoiding injury is paramount to survival. Bear seeks out scenarios to shock people for ratings, pure and simple:
Image

Also the most dangerous scenes are staged as is the entire context of the show:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/7304617.stm" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Feel free to jump in, I've left his shameless whoring and brand of overpriced shit wide open for comment.
Mere placation of the ordinary prevents one from becoming extra-ordinary.

The world is an onion made of spiderwebs.

"I'll miss the sea, but a person needs new experiences. They jar something deep inside, allowing him to grow. Without change something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens. The sleeper must awaken."
-Duke Leto Atredies

User avatar
Stercutus
* * * * *
Posts: 13580
Joined: Wed Feb 10, 2010 8:16 pm
Location: Time Out

Re: Why Bear Grylls sucks.

Post by Stercutus » Sun Apr 21, 2013 6:17 pm

Haven't since a bear hate thread in a few weeks.

Dude it is TV, you might just have to figure out how to get over it. Also there is no Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, Great Pumpkin or Boogie Man. Zombies are not real either. The internet is real but many things on it are not.
You go 'round and around it
You go over and under
I go through

User avatar
Rev
ZS Member
ZS Member
Posts: 2645
Joined: Wed May 12, 2010 2:54 am
Location: Huntington, West Virginia

Re: Why Bear Grylls sucks.

Post by Rev » Sun Apr 21, 2013 6:35 pm

Blacksmith wrote:Haven't since a bear hate thread in a few weeks.

Dude it is TV, you might just have to figure out how to get over it. Also there is no Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, Great Pumpkin or Boogie Man. Zombies are not real either. The internet is real but many things on it are not.
:vmad:
Malo periculosam, libertatem quam quietam servitutem.

Zombie Squad Forum Rules: Read Me!
http://zombiehunters.org/forum/viewtopi ... 44&t=19895

User avatar
Stercutus
* * * * *
Posts: 13580
Joined: Wed Feb 10, 2010 8:16 pm
Location: Time Out

Re: Why Bear Grylls sucks.

Post by Stercutus » Sun Apr 21, 2013 6:37 pm

:oh:


What I meant to say was that no one has proven that Zombies are real yet.



But everyone knows Bear is a big faker.
Last edited by Stercutus on Sun Apr 21, 2013 9:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.
You go 'round and around it
You go over and under
I go through

User avatar
Boondock
ZS Member
ZS Member
Posts: 2691
Joined: Fri Mar 09, 2012 6:37 pm
Location: Chicagoland

Re: Why Bear Grylls sucks.

Post by Boondock » Sun Apr 21, 2013 6:37 pm

Blacksmith wrote:Haven't since a bear hate thread in a few weeks.
And not much about what he's up to lately; he sorta dropped off the grid.

User avatar
Stercutus
* * * * *
Posts: 13580
Joined: Wed Feb 10, 2010 8:16 pm
Location: Time Out

Re: Why Bear Grylls sucks.

Post by Stercutus » Sun Apr 21, 2013 6:39 pm

Boondock wrote:
Blacksmith wrote:Haven't since a bear hate thread in a few weeks.
And not much about what he's up to lately; he sorta dropped off the grid.
Where he is I am sure he is getting ready to jump off something very tall after drinking his own pee.


Damn it, now I'm doing it.
You go 'round and around it
You go over and under
I go through

Redeyes
ZS Donor
ZS Donor
Posts: 1460
Joined: Tue May 05, 2009 1:04 am
Favorite Zombie Movies: Night of The Living Dead 1968
Location: Augusta Georgia

Re: Why Bear Grylls sucks.

Post by Redeyes » Sun Apr 21, 2013 6:50 pm

Cable TV sucks. That is why I don't purchase that service. When they start having shows where they respectfully interview folks who backpack through the woods for fun and/or profit maybe I will reconsider my policy. If they keep up their current menu of stupid bullshit interrupted with plenty of commercials I see no reason to reward them with my $$. I can watch as many shows and movies as I want for a lot less by using the various paid internet services.

Also, this thread is unnecessary. We all know his show and brand are a joke. I have never met the man so I won't say anything about him as a person. I will say that if I was going to spend money for someone to train me in survival skills it would be with someone else. Plenty of fish in that sea.
Image

Team Beards&Irons MilCopp 2013

Browning 35 for ZS President 2016. Make Zombie Squad Great Again!

dont_panic
Posts: 10
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 2:27 pm
Favorite Zombie Movies: Shaun of the dead, land of the dead... books are more my thing than movies. Even a low budget book is generally good.
Location: sc

Re: Why Bear Grylls sucks.

Post by dont_panic » Sun Apr 21, 2013 6:53 pm

Will say survivor man is the shit tho

User avatar
majorhavoc
ZS Donor
ZS Donor
Posts: 7146
Joined: Wed May 12, 2010 10:06 am
Favorite Zombie Movies: 28 Days Later, ZombieLand, Dawn of the Dead
Location: Maine

Re: Why Bear Grylls sucks.

Post by majorhavoc » Sun Apr 21, 2013 9:01 pm

Professional Wrestling is not real. Damn and they have such awesome costumes too. :vmad:

User avatar
Mr. E. Monkey
* * * * *
Posts: 9106
Joined: Sun Sep 30, 2007 11:38 am
Location: Utah

Re: Why Bear Grylls sucks.

Post by Mr. E. Monkey » Sun Apr 21, 2013 11:14 pm

Image
:crazy:
















No, not a Bear Grylls fan here, just haven't had an excuse to post that in a while. :awesome:
SMoAF wrote:'Tis better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness.
Beowolf wrote:Disasters are terrifying, but people are stupid.
wee drop o' bush wrote:THE EVIL MONKEY HAS WON THE INTERNETS! :lol: Image
Image

User avatar
majorhavoc
ZS Donor
ZS Donor
Posts: 7146
Joined: Wed May 12, 2010 10:06 am
Favorite Zombie Movies: 28 Days Later, ZombieLand, Dawn of the Dead
Location: Maine

Re: Why Bear Grylls sucks.

Post by majorhavoc » Mon Apr 22, 2013 12:22 pm

It's only a rumor at this point folks, but I just read something about Night of Living Dead being fiction.

Man am I gonna be so pissed if that turns out to be true.

Badger24
* * *
Posts: 649
Joined: Tue Dec 08, 2009 9:54 am
Favorite Zombie Movies: 28 Days later
Location: Vermont

Re: Why Bear Grylls sucks.

Post by Badger24 » Mon Apr 22, 2013 1:53 pm

Boondock wrote:
Blacksmith wrote:Haven't since a bear hate thread in a few weeks.
And not much about what he's up to lately; he sorta dropped off the grid.
Maybe he is a zombie now. :wink:

BigDaddyTX
* * * * *
Posts: 1998
Joined: Tue Apr 14, 2009 5:50 pm
Location: Greater Clear Lake Area, Texas

Re: Why Bear Grylls sucks.

Post by BigDaddyTX » Mon Apr 22, 2013 7:52 pm

I just leave this in all these threads. I don't know if it's been updated in a while, but it goes to show...

http://www.daughtersoftiresias.org/bear ... evelations" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
Image
mzmadmike wrote: I may even buy another semiautomatic assault weapon rambo killing machine for my small penis, with lots of large capacity non-reusable clips full of armor piercing incendiary mercury tracer poisoned explosive hollowpoint glaser black talons

User avatar
Boondock
ZS Member
ZS Member
Posts: 2691
Joined: Fri Mar 09, 2012 6:37 pm
Location: Chicagoland

Re: Why Bear Grylls sucks.

Post by Boondock » Mon Apr 22, 2013 8:53 pm

For me, I knew something wasn't kosher when I noticed the clothes would be wet and muddy by the time the shelter was built for the night. The next morning, the same pants and shirt would look as clean as when the trip began. And then clean again the next day. Magic? :?

User avatar
Bahamut
* *
Posts: 132
Joined: Wed Sep 05, 2012 4:59 pm
Favorite Zombie Movies: Shaun of the Dead, Dawn of the Dead, Resident Evil series
Location: Florida

Re: Why Bear Grylls sucks.

Post by Bahamut » Tue Jul 16, 2013 4:30 pm

Boondock wrote:For me, I knew something wasn't kosher when I noticed the clothes would be wet and muddy by the time the shelter was built for the night. The next morning, the same pants and shirt would look as clean as when the trip began. And then clean again the next day. Magic? :?
He utilizes a prototype of Smurf clothing technology. Smurf clothes remain clean at all times, but his takes more time to absorb the grime.
Beware the roving zombie honeybadgers mercenary gangs that have an affinity for switchblades!

User avatar
alpha_texas1969
ZS Member
ZS Member
Posts: 233
Joined: Sat Mar 09, 2013 1:27 pm
Favorite Zombie Movies: Shaun of the dead
Location: Texas

Re: Why Bear Grylls sucks.

Post by alpha_texas1969 » Tue Jul 16, 2013 5:26 pm

Image


LEAVE BEAR ALONE!!!!!!!
Image

User avatar
Sins
* * *
Posts: 572
Joined: Sun Jul 22, 2012 3:58 pm

Re: Why Bear Grylls sucks.

Post by Sins » Tue Jul 16, 2013 6:04 pm

Image

User avatar
Jeriah
ZS Lifetime Member
ZS Lifetime Member
Posts: 18722
Joined: Thu Aug 11, 2005 4:12 pm
Favorite Zombie Movies: Original Night of the Living Dead, Dawn of the Dead 04, and 28 Days Later are my top three, in that order.
Location: Chicago, IL
Contact:

Re: Why Bear Grylls sucks.

Post by Jeriah » Tue Jul 16, 2013 11:22 pm

I saw him on tv doing some kind of Survivor-type reality show, team based survival stuff where he is a sort of leader and judge. And yes, he made them eat bugs and drink their own piss.
Image

Fletch
* * * *
Posts: 838
Joined: Sat Oct 02, 2010 10:12 am
Location: 25,000 light years from the galactic core, spinning at approx. 67,000mph on a tiny rock called Erf

Re: Why Bear Grylls sucks.

Post by Fletch » Wed Jul 17, 2013 1:38 am

http://www.youtube.com/channel/HCda_voHCF260

This guy is 1000x more interesting than grylls.


That is all :awesome:
Image
"They want their jobs to be easy, and a policeman's job is easy only in a police state."

Nutpantz
* * *
Posts: 333
Joined: Fri Oct 21, 2011 12:41 am

Re: Why Bear Grylls sucks.

Post by Nutpantz » Thu Jul 18, 2013 1:11 am

Yep.was looking at hydration bottles and had a store employee talk up a water bottle canteen cup modern update at some store last week...thought about buying it just to try it out..
Saw BG on it..found the packaging...
"sorry,I just can't but something endorsed by that guy.no sale"
He understood and said that happens often.. Gerber screwed the pooch big getting bare thrills to endorse their products...
Sadly I think he had wormed his way into the boy scouts in some way or form...
Equality can only exist between equals.
Civilization implies division of labor, division of labor implies subordination and subordination implies injustice and inequality.

User avatar
Manimal2878
* * *
Posts: 381
Joined: Tue Nov 16, 2010 4:00 pm
Favorite Zombie Movies: 28 Days Later, Dawn of the Dead, Dawn of the Dead Remake, Shaun of the Dead,
Location: Tampa Bay, FL

Re: Why Bear Grylls sucks.

Post by Manimal2878 » Mon Jul 22, 2013 10:19 am

Nutpantz wrote:Yep.was looking at hydration bottles and had a store employee talk up a water bottle canteen cup modern update at some store last week...thought about buying it just to try it out..
Saw BG on it..found the packaging...
"sorry,I just can't but something endorsed by that guy.no sale"
He understood and said that happens often.. Gerber screwed the pooch big getting bare thrills to endorse their products...
Sadly I think he had wormed his way into the boy scouts in some way or form...

From a marketing standpoint, bringing on Bear seems to have been good for Gerber. They are expanding his line afterall, more of his orange and gray stuff on the racks every time I go to a sports and outdoor store.

Most people are not knowledgeable in this stuff the way most people who would read a website like this are. They are the market for the Bear/Gerber stuff, not us.

User avatar
teotwaki
ZS Member
ZS Member
Posts: 4337
Joined: Sun Apr 05, 2009 11:58 pm
Contact:

Re: Why Bear Grylls sucks.

Post by teotwaki » Mon Jul 22, 2013 12:52 pm

I am mainly jealous that Bear is now filthy rich, better looking, famous and somewhat arrogantly satisfied with himself. :words: Somehow I'll survive, LOL
My adventures and pictures are on my blog http://suntothenorth.blogspot.com

BigDaddyTX
* * * * *
Posts: 1998
Joined: Tue Apr 14, 2009 5:50 pm
Location: Greater Clear Lake Area, Texas

Re: Why Bear Grylls sucks.

Post by BigDaddyTX » Mon Jul 22, 2013 1:26 pm

I like, aesthetically at least, a lot of the BG gear. I want to get one of Les Stroud's knives, but they don't really do much for me that a firesteel tied to my RC-4 wouldn't do. I'll still end up with one though.
Image
mzmadmike wrote: I may even buy another semiautomatic assault weapon rambo killing machine for my small penis, with lots of large capacity non-reusable clips full of armor piercing incendiary mercury tracer poisoned explosive hollowpoint glaser black talons

missouri dave
*
Posts: 89
Joined: Fri Dec 28, 2007 11:55 am
Location: lower alabama

Re: Why Bear Grylls sucks.

Post by missouri dave » Mon Jul 22, 2013 1:38 pm

Is he the one that squeezed water out of the elephant poo? I'll have to take my chances with dehydration.
I won't be wronged, I won't be insulted and I won't be laid a hand on. I don't do these things to other people and I recquire the same of them.

Post Reply

Return to “Zombie Training Films”