Dead Men do Tell Tales: A Duke Sledge Mystery

[Ponyboy314]

Wish me luck.



After I got outta sight from the office, I pulled that shotgun from under my coat, feelin’ the rattlin’ of my extra shells as I walked, wonderin’ how many I was gonna be needin’ before this whole deal ended. I like to plan ahead, but if you don’t know what’s waitin’ for you, plans tend to be hard to make. What the hell was in there? Was Rutledge still even there? What the hell was I gonna do if he weren’t? Hell, what was I gonna do if he was? I didn’t know nothin’ except where I was goin’, and didn’t have so much as a vague plan for what I was gonna do no matter what I found. That ain’t no way to go about anything, but what the hell else was I supposed to do?

Took me forever to get there, and every second it took made me feel like someone was gonna die what I coulda saved if I’d found this place faster. The warehouse didn’t look much different from any of the others around me, except for a fence around it. This place was damn sure a favorite of those folks what don’t want anyone peekin’ at the goods. I thought then that a bunch of big time bootleggers must have been usin’ the place for a while before Rutledge took the place over.

That chain link fence was about ten feet high and the top was covered with barbed wire all around it, and the gate was locked with a padlock the size of Crunch Baker’s fist. But that didn’t mean nothin’ to me. In addition to my roscoe, what else do I never leave the house without?

Right. My lock picks.

I was inside that fence in about two minutes. That lock fought me a bit, but it hadn’t reckoned on Duke Sledge bein’ the one to pick it.

I walked slowly around the place, and it was damned big. A few crates was here and there, lookin’ like they was already empty, and all the windows was high off the ground, and there was only one door on each side, all locked. Yeah, Rutledge chose this place well. But then, I sure wasn’t gonna use those picks to get in that way, was I? Anyone inside would know the second I opened the door.

So I stacked a couple of crates under the fire ladder which led to the roof, and that was not a fun climb. But I made the roof and managed to pick the lock of a sun window, and there was a lot of those on the roof, but I could barely see in and noticed that a catwalk was right under the window. So I crawled in and found myself in a place where I didn’t wanna be. That catwalk wound around the entire inside and a couple of ladders led down, but what I saw on the floor of the place left me scratchin’ my head.

Everything seemed to be givin’ off an eerie green glow, but I couldn’t tell what none of it was, and there wasn’t nothing I knew to even compare it to. A bunch of machinery what glows green? Think of any mad scientist flick you ever saw and that’s as good as I can do. I can, at least say, there was lots of it, but I was too high up to see anything in detail. Whatever Rutledge was doing in here, he’d been at it a while.

Knowin’ that anyone what was lookin’ up would catch a good glimpse of your old friend Duke, I moved towards a ladder and started down, and just like on the way up outside, that weren’t easy what with a sawed-off in my hand. But I made it down, afraid that I was going to hear someone yellin’ after me or takin’ a shot with his rod, but that didn’t happen. Instead, when I got to the bottom…

You know? I think this might be the time for a little story. Don’t get mad at me for interruptin’ the flow just before the climax of the story and all that, but I am goin’ somewhere with this.

Back in ’18, and you know where I was then, me and a few guys was pullin’ a night raid on this Hun trench, tryin’ to grease some artillery spotters what was makin’ some trouble for us. I was a corporal at the time, so I was the poor slob what had to lead the raid and all that, and we crawled on our guts through all this mud and dead guys, and we finally got there without those Huns knowin’ we was there. When I thought the time was right, we tossed a couple of pineapples in and blew a few of those guys to hell. You know, arms and legs flyin’ over our heads and all, and after that, we went at it, bayonets rippin’ right through those guys. It was over in just a few seconds, and when we got back, all the guys what was in our company patted us on the back, ‘cause we’d been gettin’ hit real good by Hun artillery, and we all wanted that position done with. They even gave me and one other guy a medal for it. But while we was killin’ those crumbs, something happened that's been on the mind here and there ever since.

I had me a trench shotgun, which they gave to anyone leadin’ a raid, and after I blew this Hun’s head off, I felt something pressed against the side of my head, and I knew damned well what it was. But that Hun, he pulled the trigger and nothin’ happened. So I turn around and bayonet the guy in the nuts and beat him senseless with the butt of my shotgun, then I blast him in the face so he don’t gotta head no more. Before we skedaddled back to our trench, what with a few Huns shootin’ at us from the dark, I grabbed this Luger what that guy had against my head, and I saw that the dumb bastard left the safety on. Most guys what come home from some war got a story like that, about how the only reason they ain’t dead is because of some piece of luck. Seen it a few times back then. Shell goes off and tears a guy apart, but the Joe standin’ next to him ain’t gotta scratch. Guy aimin’ at you from two feet away but still misses…things like that. Well, that was mine. Dumb Hun didn’t take the safety off his Luger and that’s why I became Duke Sledge, legendary private eye, and not Corporal Sledge, killed in action.

Wonderin’ why I’m borin’ you with all this? Well I’ll tell you.

Because once you have a Luger pressed up against your face, you never forget what that’s like, or at least I don’t. And until the night I snuck into that warehouse, I figured that I’d never have a Luger against my mug again.

I was wrong.

[Ponyboy314]

You still thinkin’ that anything written in italics at the beginning of a section is supposed to be insightful or somethin’? I’m a little busy…I have a goddamned Luger against my face!



I immediately froze. I ain’t never been gotten before, and I guess there’s a first time for everything. One move and I get plugged, ain’t no doubt about that. So I just stopped moving and waited to hear the words I knew was coming.

“Lay that shotgun on the crate next to you, and slowly. Don’t do anything stupid.”

Yeah, those words.

The guy walked in front of me after I laid my double barrel down and stepped away from it, since I was sure he was sayin’ that next. He came into the light, and the business end of that Luger looked more like a rail gun at that range, aimed at my handsome mug. I guess you’ve already figured out who it was.

Meet Doctor Abraham Rutledge.

He then says, “Now then, who the hell are you and what are you doing here?”

With my hands held up a bit, I tried really hard at that moment to remember that I’m Duke Sledge, but a Luger in the face makes a guy forget a few things. Still, I managed to force out…

“For a guy who, not too long ago, was thrilled to have me in his office, you have a short memory, Doc.”

Rutledge’s face showed he was beginning to recognize his new arrival, and then, it turned to something like amusement.

“Well I’ll be damned…Duke Sledge, celebrity private detective and all around man about town. Never met a case he couldn’t crack and never met a woman he couldn’t charm. Been a little while, Mister Sledge, and the only time we’ve met, we were having a pleasant, if professional conversation over the body of an eviscerated young woman.”

“Yeah, sounds about right. But I meet so many people in this great city of ours, so it’s hard to place them all.”

“I’d ask what the hell you’re doing here Duke, but I’m not a fool. Who hired you to find me?”

“Who didn’t? Your wife is terrified that you crossed the wrong bad guy, and the feds are…well, you figure out why they’d be lookin’ for you.”

“I’d ask how you found me, but then, I’d get some semi-amusing monologue about how you’re Duke Sledge and you’re the best or what not, am I right?”

Yeah, he knew me too well. He sure kept his ear to the ground around here.

“Probably.”

“I guess I should be flattered, Duke. They sent the best after me. But I hope you understand that it doesn’t mean a thing. Thanks to your intrusion, I have been forced to accelerate my plans, and that means what I was going to begin tomorrow evening, I have to begin right now.”

“And that is?” Yeah, I was playing for time, and while I may not be an idiot, neither was Doctor Rutledge.

“You know perfectly well what I’m talking about. There’s no way you could have found this place unless you went through some of my personal effects. So, what else do you know?”

“I know everything, Rutledge. I know about that wounded kid back in France who died and came right back, I know why you went to work in the morgue, I know about you pitchin’ woo with every two-bit floozy in town, about you wantin’ to put a ring on Dolly Draper’s finger, the wires hooked up to brains…I know everything. I know you wanted to help mankind, but somewhere along the way, you turned around and decided to wipe us all out.”

“Since you obviously read my personal journals, I have to assume that you understand the motivations behind my imminent actions.” That Luger hadn’t moved an inch.

“Yeah, and you’re crazy. You can’t get people to stop killin’ each other by killin’ them yourself first. I don’t know what you’re gonna do, but you can’t go through with it.”

“And what would you have me do, Duke? I’ve seen things that are beyond your imagination. I saw things in the war that would break a man like you. Young men, not even old enough to vote, coming to me with their guts in their hands, screaming for their mothers, with arms and legs blown off…you have no idea what that does to a person, having to see horrors like that. Where were you when I was in the war, knee deep in the blood of terrified boys?”

“I was there, Doc. I was in the trenches, and I’ve seen more than that. You only saw them when they was already shot full of holes. I was up front, seein’ how they got that way. I held dyin’ kids who never made it to no field hospital. I held their hands while they asked me to say somethin’ from the bible. You never had to see that. I know what it does to a guy, Doc. I see it all the time in my nightmares. You ain’t in no position to preach about life and death.”

“Then you should understand, Duke. You know…you know that we human beings are a diseased species, using our God-given intellects to devise nothing more than newer and more terrible ways to slaughter ourselves. You know who Hiram Maxim was?”

“Let me guess, the guy what invented all those guns that shot at me in the war…”

“Indeed. Maxim had this idea, that if he devised a weapon that terrible, no country would dare start a war, for fear of what that gun could do. And what happened? Barely thirty years later, we were using that blasted thing against each other in the trenches, and a whole generation was wiped out. That’s how we advance. That’s how we prosper…by mass slaughter. This is no way to exist, Duke. And it has to end. With the destructive power of our new arsenals, then we’re doomed to wipe ourselves off the face of the earth.”

“And what do you think you’re about to do, Doc?”

“My way will force humanity to unite to save themselves. True, millions will die, but our species will grow wiser, and more willing to work together rather than butcher itself for any petty difference. You know what’s going on out there in that world. Spain on the brink of civil war, a tyrant in Italy, another one in Germany, and Japan murdering their way across China…how soon before the next Great War begins? What will happen to us then? I alone can stop this. I’ll give humanity a choice…stand together or die apart. Humanity will hold its own future in its hands. Only then will they be worthy of the future I can provide.”

[Ponyboy314]

Just listen. This is the part you’ve been waitin’ for.



“What future? A future where dead people can come back and do what? What the hell do you think you’re doing for us?”

That was a question designed to get me a lengthy answer, and not for nothin’. Remember what I said before? Get them talkin’ and keep them talkin’, and he now has a chance to talk about himself, and never forget that everyone’s their own favorite subject. As long as he’s tellin’ me about his grand plans for humanity, or whatever’ll be left of it, the longer I have to maybe think of a way out of this. I seriously doubted that I could keep him yappin’ until the feds showed, but maybe I could come up with somethin’. That’s what I was thinkin’.

“Haven’t you ever lost anyone, Duke? Haven’t you ever wanted them back at any cost? Too many people die before their time, and those they leave behind never get past the pain of the loss. I can heal that pain. Disease, wounds…anything…I can conquer it…I can give every man, woman, and child the chance to cheat death. I saw terrible things in the morgue. I saw grieving mothers and brothers, sisters and children, who lost their loved ones in terrible, unspeakable ways. I can give people back those they lost. What greater gift is there?”

“For a guy who wants to give people their loved ones back, you’re sure willing to kill a lot of those folks to do it. Think you’re something of a hypocrite, Doc.”

“What good ever came without sacrifrice? A thousand die to save a million? People have always lived by that belief…that a few die for the benefit of many, but what good ever comes from what they do? Millions died in the war, and what did they say to us? That they died to end war forever? They tell you that? They told me that! And what’s happening out there? The world is heading right towards another war Duke, and this one will make our war look like nothing! This is what our future is now, and I am the only one who can stop it! I might kill a few thousand, but imagine the millions we can save if we stop this insanity and get people to actually work together rather than massacre their brothers! And why do they do it? Religion? Flags? Ethnic hatred? Money? Land? Power? We get better and better at killing ourselves, and sooner or later, we’re going to unleash something that we can’t stop, that we can’t control, and if that happens, you’ll see the deaths of millions and wish you hadn’t tried to stop me! What are thousands against the millions who will die? And once we all pull together to stop what I have released, then we as a species will finally be worth the gift I can give! This is what we have to do, Duke! This is our only chance!”

“No it ain’t, Doc! Maybe another war is coming, and maybe it’ll be worse this time, but this ain’t how you stop it! You really think people will work together to stop whatever you’re gonna do? This won’t stop people from doin’ what they do! You’ll just kill, that’s it! You’ll betray everything you’ve spent your life doing!”

“They’ll work together when they see what I can give them, Duke.”

“Their dead grannies back? Dead is dead Doc, bringin’ people back…that’s…that’s sick! That’s against every rule I ever heard! You think people wanna see their loved ones come back while rotting like a slab of green meat? This is insane, Doc! You gotta put an end to this now!”

“Enough of this nonsense, Duke. I know perfectly well that you’re keeping me talking to give yourself time to think your way out of this, but you had best understand that you are not stopping what’s coming. Come with me. You might find this interesting. But first, I know you’re still armed. Lay your pistol on the ground and walk towards me.”

That Luger still had a bead on me as I took my six gun and laid it down. He had me, and there weren’t nothin’ I could do about that.

He led me to the center of the warehouse, past all those strange lookin’ machines, what looked like fancy, spaceman cylinders or somethin’. There must have been hundreds of them, all glowing that nasty green. I didn’t quite know what was in them, but I had me an idea.

He stopped at some kind of podium, like what the president stands behind when he’s making a speech, or what preachers use to lay their bible on while they make you feel guilty. But this one had all kinds of switches and knobs, and I suddenly got even more afraid than I already was. Whatever was about to happen, there weren’t nothing I could do about it as long as that Luger had me by the face.

“Take a look at the future, Duke.”

Rutledge pushed some button and some kind of cover slid off those cylinders with a buzzin’ sound, and I finally saw what he was planning on unleashing on us.

Each cylinder held a body, a dead one, some fresh, some rotted, floating in some kind of greenish ooze. Rutledge weren’t too particular about what he used, either. I saw old folks and little kids, Joes and dames, white folk and negroes…and he had hundreds…hundreds of these things. Every one of their brains was exposed, like their scalps was unscrewed like a whiskey bottle. Their brains all had somethin’, like…I don’t know, stuck to it with wires, somethin’ the size of a pack of Lucky Strikes. I felt my whole body go cold, my lips began to quiver, and I finally fell down and puked all over the place. What else was there to do?

I admit it. I was scared out of my mind.

“Duke, I’m going to give you a greater gift than anyone else on earth is going to receive. I’m going to let you bear witness to the new age. You’ll see soon enough that I am right, and that these, my creations, will finally be our deliverance. Our future is secure once I unleash these on the world. Don’t worry. They won’t harm you if I don’t tell them to.”

That damned Luger was still aimed at me while he flipped some switch, and the clear glass of those cylinders slid down, gushing that nasty ooze all over the floor, getting’ all over my expensive Florsheims. I saw those things on their brains start to glow blue, and their eyes open.

I ain’t kidding. Their eyes opened. They was dead, but their eyes opened.

Then, Doc Rutledge said something into a thing comin’ off of that console, lookin’ like a horn, the kind old deaf people use to hear better.

He said, “Assemble.”

And they all stepped out onto the ground.

[Ponyboy314]

Now you know what that madman was doin’. Happy? I sure ain’t.



They stepped out like…I ain’t got no way to say it where it’ll make sense. Like they all had one brain, one thing controllin’ them all, and that’s the best I got. Even in the army, I never saw precision like that. Everything moved as one. I couldn’t believe what I was seein’, and I still had the presence of mind to be glad I didn’t get coffee on the way there, or else I woulda pissed all over myself.

“Now then Duke, stand and watch. In time, humanity will thank me for what I am about to do, and they will thank me even more when I reveal that I can bring their loved ones back from death. Maybe then, we’ll know. We’ll know what awaits us on the other side. Our oldest question, answered, because of me.”

He spoke into that phonograph-lookin thing on the console, and said a single word.

“Go.”

They started marchin’, but not like how they stepped out of those gas chamber lookin’ things. They was movin’ by themselves, at their own pace, and they looked like a bunch of drunks staggerin’ out of the Marie Curie on a Friday night. They wasn’t makin’ no sound, not mumblin’ or talkin’ or nothin’.

“What…what the hell are these?”

“Our own dead, Duke. I can, at present, only revive the brain on the most basic level, and that means our two most basic instincts as human animals. They feel the need to eat, and to inflict agony on their fellow humans. I will discover the secret to bringing them back to what they were, but for now, this will do.”

“What? They’re gonna eat everybody?”

“Don’t look so shocked, Duke. After all, what do we humans do every day, but eat our neighbors?”

This horde, this mob, this army of whatever the hell these dead things were…were going to devour the world, all in the name of saving ourselves. I threw up again. I was certain that I’d lost this one, and everyone else with it. I was cornered, against the ropes, I was in a spot where Duke Sledge had never been before.

But I always have a backup plan.

That Luger dropped just a little bit as that gang of dead bodies got closer, not lookin’ at me or carin’ that I was even there. Doc Rutledge just stood, with that look of satisfaction on his face, like he was really about to save mankind or whatever. But I, like I said, had a plan.

How many guns did I bring? You remember that, don’t you?

I pulled my Colt .32 from the back of my belt, where I’d had it hidden. I chambered a round and Rutledge saw me, and started screaming.

“No, Duke! Don’t you dare! You’re not stopping this! No one is! You’re not stopping my life’s work!”

He took a shot at me, but missed by a mile. I fired, and I didn’t miss. I didn’t hit the guy, but then, I weren’t aiming for that.

I was aiming for that console in front of him.

I hit it square and a bunch of sparks and such flew all over the place, and there was all these sounds, like high voltage wires or somethin’ like that. But what I noticed most of all was those blue glowing things on those stiffs’ heads, they turned red, just like that.

“Duke! You idiot! You have any idea what you’ve done?”

I fired again, clipping the guy in the shoulder, but Rutledge stayed on his feet. But he and I both saw something…we both saw those walking things turn towards him and start moving. He started shouting in that horn thing again.

“Stop! Stop! Turn around and kill Duke Sledge! Kill that man behind you!”

They got their hands on him and pulled him to the ground, and I could hear somethin’ I never heard before, but I knew what it was. It was the sounds of a man being eaten. They was eatin’ him alive.

“Duke, you son of a…” That was all he said before he was ripped apart.

“Choke on that, you looney.”

I shouldn’t have said that. Those things what weren’t busy eatin’ Rutldge turned towards me, and of course, there weren’t no one to tell them to stop.

You might say I got a little more scared.

One started towards me and I let him have it. My shots ripped into that thing, but he didn’t slow down for nothin’. I almost yelped as I switched magazines and fired again, and that one just kept comin’. I was now about screamin’ when I fired at that glowin’ thing on his head, but I missed that. It hit his forehead, and he dropped like a rock. That glowin’ red thing went out, like a plug got pulled, which, I guess you could say actually happened.

But I only had a few shots left, and that looked to be a few hundred comin’ my way.

Seemed like a good time to run.

[Ponyboy314]

I hadn’t had to shoot at anyone since the war, and even so, I had a hard time think’ of those freakos as “anyones.” They was monsters, like right outta the movies, but they was real. Real and coming after me to rip me apart. I heard them eatin’ Doc Rutledge alive, and, well, I am who I am, but I did think for a second if this canceled out my fee that I was still owed by Lucy Rutledge.

Like I said, I am who I am.



For bein’ so slow, those things was hard to outrun. Maybe that was because they was comin’ from all over, and there weren’t too many places to run anyway. So I ran back to where I climbed down, knowin’ that my only chance was layin’ on a crate and on the ground. I got to my shotgun and revolver, and turned and threw a load of buck into the nearest one. I tell you what, a dead man’s head comes apart real easy. It also made me want to puke again, but I think I was empty.

Yeah, they was comin’ from everywhere, still not makin’ no sounds except for their shufflin’ footsteps. I scampered up that ladder like a thief runnin’ from the cops, even with my shotgun in one hand. I looked down but wished I hadn’t. It was like a sea of dead faces and glowin’ red things. And all of them was trying to pull themselves up that ladder, but they wasn’t coordinated for nothin’. I thought I was home free, even though I hadn’t figured yet on what the hell I was gonna do once I got outside and to the ground.

I caught my breath and headed down that fire ladder, tryin’ to reassure myself that they couldn’t get me now. I walked into that warehouse thinkin’ one sort of thing and left thinkin’ another, if you know what I mean.

Of course you do.

Anyway, I scampered down that ladder hoping to crack this case and put an end to this whole messy show, even though I knew I was up against somethin’ I never seen before and I was pretty sure I was gettin’ planted for my efforts. When I got out, I wasn’t thinkin’ much about the case (except for those few seconds when I was thinkin’ about that five hundred Lucy Rutledge technically still owed me), I was thinkin’ that I just walked into a different world and walked back out, and that everything I believed had just been wiped away, but still, I had a job to do. Damnit, I cracked the case, and now I just wanted to not get eaten!

I started running towards the gate, and then I heard it. I heard the front doors bein’ banged on, and I didn’t quite know if they could get through those, but I weren’t sticking around to find out. I ran through the open gate and locked that padlock, not knowin’ what I was goin’ to tell the feds when they arrived, though I’d lost track of time. I didn’t know when they was gonna show up, if that security guard kid remembered to do his part in this.

I sure didn’t feel like waitin’ by a gate near a warehouse with a few hundred dead things with glowing brains or whatever, but there wasn’t nothing else to do at that point, but for the next couple of minutes, I must have gone through half a pack of Luckys. I was still shakin’ about the whole thing. That what was in that warehouse was built to kill a bunch of people and scare us into bein’ nice or whatever, that they was dead but up and movin’ around, and that too many of them just walked out of some Hooverville recently and never made it back. Now, I had all the answers, and unlike any other case, I wished I didn’t. Some cases a private dick wishes he could forget, and this topped them all.

How I was ever gonna sleep again, I sure as hell didn’t know.

By the way, you ever hear two big wooden cargo doors with steel reinforcements crack open? That was the night I found out, by the way.

I jumped up and looked where those doors was, and I saw them, a few hundred of those freaky dead guys with red glowing things on their brains coming right towards me. I guess whatever Rutledge told them to do, they wasn’t done just ‘cause they ate him.

If those heavy doors couldn’t hold them, a chain link fence ain’t gonna.

I yelped as I backed off, firing and loading my double barrel, dropping them easily, but not quickly, and it didn’t look to matter anyway, since there was a lot more of them than rounds in my pockets. I thought of running, but that message didn’t make it all the way down to my legs. I was frozen again, and I still wonder if, had they broken through, I would have just stood there and let them gobble me like a Thanksgiving turkey.

I dropped my shotgun and pulled my revolver around the time I heard the sound of a few dozen car engines. I didn’t look over my shoulder as they got closer. I already knew what was happening, but that didn’t stop me from firing at those freaks what was on the other side of that gate, reaching for me.

The feds had arrived.

[Ponyboy314]

Okay, just so you know, I ain’t never gonna talk bad about G-men again, at least not about these ones. They got there when I needed ‘em, they was payin’ me twelve large for this whole mess, and when all was said and done, they wanted what I wanted: Doc Rutledge found. I did that part already, but there was a hell of a mess needed cleanin’, and I was just about done doin’ my part of that.



I heard a bunch of doors open and slam shut, and a bunch of footsteps movin’ towards me with purpose. I was still shootin’, well, to be honest, I was pullin’ the trigger of an empty gun I hadn’t had the brains about me to reload, when I felt a hand on my shoulder, startin’ to pull me back.

“What in the name of…what the hell is that? Get back Sledge! For the love of God, get back!”

I could only say, “You have to shoot the head. Nothin’ else will hurt them.”

I heard the sound of a bunch of shotguns bein’ racked and Chicago Typewriters being loaded. They was leadin’ me to one of the cars when I heard one of the agents, who I thought was Special Agent Montrose.

“You heard the man! Hit the head! Shoot them in the goddamned heads! Open fire!”

I barely heard the sound of shotgun blasts and the chattering of Tommies as I passed out, and I mean really passed out. It was like someone was tellin’ me that they could take it from here, and I could go ahead and click off for a bit.

And that’s exactly what I did. If I dreamed about anything, I sure don’t remember it.

I woke up in the middle of the night, still in the back of a Bureau GM. It was past midnight and there was a bunch of stuff going on all around me. I remember thinkin’ that I was dreaming, and that I still had a case on the table, and it didn’t involve dead guys with glowing batteries on their heads, but as I looked around, I saw that no, it was all real, and things were still happening. This case was cracked, but it still weren’t over.

At least twenty Bureau cars was all over the place, with a couple of trucks here and there, with people running all over. There was folks loading bodies, some without their heads still attached, into those trucks, and once they drove off, more showed up, like a dead guy conveyor belt. I saw stuff bein’ burned, and agents lookin’ at all sort of equipment what they’d pulled from the warehouse. I walked around, still shakin’, still disoriented, until I almost bumped into Agent Montrose.

“Mister Sledge, I trust you’re rested.”

“I’m too out there to know, Agent Montrose.”

“You saw him, didn’t you Duke? You saw Rutledge. What did he say? What the hell was all this about? What the hell could compel a man to do…whatever the hell this was?”

“Montrose, I have a few things back at the office you might want to look at. You’ll find whatever answers you need in there. But if you need a statement or whatever, let me know. It’s…a hell of a story.”

“And I’ll need you to tell it. For now, this is a hell of a mess, and we’re going to have it cleaned up soon. In a few minutes, Agent Thesz and I are taking you to the Bureau office. We’ll get your statement there. After that…”

“Yeah, Montrose. About that…what the hell am I supposed to tell Lucy Rutledge about all this? I still got a case, you know. What the hell am I supposed to say? I sure can’t tell her any of this.”

“We have people working on that, Duke. We’ll feed the press something they’ll swallow, and we’ll know what to do about Abraham Rutledge soon enough. After we get your statement, we’ll…you’ll go home. You’ll go home, close this case, and…after that, I don’t know. What the hell will you do after you close this out, Duke?”

“I gotta date this Friday with a smokin’ brunette. That’s somethin’ to look forward to.”

“I guess it is. Anyway, I’ll stop at your office on the way. I need to take possession of all evidence of this…incident, I guess. We can’t let anyone know what happened.”

“I agree with you on that, G-man.”

“Duke, if it means anything, and I understand if it doesn’t, a lot of people owe you a hell of a debt of gratitude. But for my own part, your government thanks you. We would have never found this place. I’ll be very interested to see how you did it. But thank you. You saved a lot of lives. I wish we could tell people what you did, but…”

“I’d rather they never knew, Montrose. Hell, I wish I didn’t know.”

“Come on, Duke. Let’s get you out of here. We’ll take a statement, get you some coffee, and Agent Thesz owes us breakfast. I believe you have a liking for the Full Moon Coffee Shop.”

“Thesz owes us breakfast?”

“I bet him that you’d crack this case and put an end to this whole thing. He didn’t think you were as good as your press would have us believe. Time to collect, once we’re done with you at the office.”

“Aces, Montrose. Aces.”

[Ponyboy314]

Duke Sledge always cracks his case. Duke Sledge always gets the job done. That’s what it means to be Duke Sledge. But if this case taught me anything, it’s that there’s a lot more to bein’ Duke Sledge than that. But you already know that. That’s why I’m your hero.

I wish I’d never met Lucy Rutledge, Julian Bernstein, that old nurse…wish I’d never had to rough up Tick Murdoch, or chat with Daindridge, Percy Blaxton, or Doc Hartmann. Wish I didn’t know what I know. But I know, and I can’t change that. All I can do is keep on livin’, if you know what I mean.

Of course you do.



Just so you’re aware, this was the headline in the L.A. Times a couple of mornings after that long, goddamned night.



Body of World Famous Doctor Found: Police Suspect Gangland Involvement.



What the rest of that article said, you can probably imagine, but just to give you the skinny on it, the feds claimed the body was found it because a certain legendary private eye was workin’ a case and happened to see it through until the end, even though Los Angeles and the rest of the world hadn’t even known he was missing. The story the feds gave the press was that he got on the wrong side of the wrong guy, and the whole story of his infidelities came right out, and it sure weren’t Percy Blaxton what got the credit for that one. But now that his government contract has been buried and the evidence destroyed, or at least soon will be, Rutledge is gonna be the past real soon. But I gotta give the G-men credit. They spun that story so I could still collect my green from Lucy Rutledge. Time will have to tell what’s gonna happen to Senator Aloysius Billings, but his chance for reelection literally got eaten alive. I got sworn to secrecy of course, and I went ahead and cashed that check for twelve grand.

The feds also covered up the warehouse gig by telling the papers that it was a standard raid on a building suspected of being used to house bootleg gin, and the press is already buying that. Why wouldn’t they? It sure ain’t an uncommon story these days.

But I visited Lucy Rutledge, who fortunately hadn’t read the papers that morning. I told her about her husband and his sleepin’ around, and she weren’t surprised, as you can guess. I told her that he was knockin’ boots with a bad guy’s moll, and got himself in to deep (in more ways than one, chuckle, though I didn’t say that part) and paid for it. She paid me the five bills she owed me and I told her I didn’t need the one hundred she owed me for the first week. I felt bad for that gal, you know? Pretty girl like her, married to a world-famous doctor, livin’ the good life with a depression goin ‘ on, only to find out her hubby’s pole liked the wet things in life, and findin’t out the way she did. Lucy Rutledge is a nice dame, and she told me she was getting’ outta L.A. I genuinely believe that this ain’t the type of city for hearts like what she’s got.

But the next day, I had a date with one Judith St. James. By then, I had already locked away that letter I wrote her, since it weren’t needed no more, but I still wanted to hang onto it, just for shits and giggles.

I took her to see King Kong, but the real show was outside before the curtains went up. Here’s what happened.

“Hey Duke, look at that! That’s Faye Wray, the leading lady of this here picture!”

I did my best to look unimpressed. “So it is. You never seen a Hollywood starlet before?”

“Not this close, Duke.”

“Come with me, Judith. You might find this funny.” So I took her over to Faye Wray, leading lady of the best movie of 1933. “Faye! They’ll let anyone in here, won’t they?”

Faye turned and almost yelled, “Duke! How are you doin’, you wretched old gumshoe?”

Judith’s face froze, just as I hoped it would. “You know Faye Wray?”

“Sure. Worked a case a year back or thereabouts. This fan of hers was getting’ too close, so our friend Ms. Wray here needed someone like me to…straighten him out, we’ll say it that way. So Faye, this gonna be a masterpiece of cinematic art, or whatever you Hollywood types like to say?”

Faye kissed me right on the cheek. “Oh seriously, Duke. Thanks to you being here, I’m only the second most famous person attending this picture. And who is this?”

“This is my date, Judith St. James. Ain’t she a sight?”

“And thanks to you, Ms. St. James, I’m only the second prettiest.”

Judith blushed like you wouldn’t believe, or maybe you would, considering the circumstances. As she turned, Faye gave me a wink. She knew the angle I was workin’.

And so, we watched King Kong, and with Judith around, as I would hear in another movie years and years later, it looked like the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

Yeah, I wish I’d never met Lucy Rutledge. But what a way to level it out.

And this story that begins with a tall, beautiful dame, ends with another.


***********************************


I know what you’re expectin’. You think that ‘cause this is the end of the story and all that, that I’m supposed to give you some kind of clever or emotional sendoff, right? Something like a little wink, to let you know that my story ain’t really done?

Somethin’ like…

But that…is another story.

Okay, seriously, who writes like that? What kind of half-baked, two-bit writer ends a story in such an off-the-cob way? Anyone who writes like that ain’t fit to write the ship sailin’ notices in the papers, if you know what I mean.

Of course you do.

The End.

[Ponyboy314]

Check out these other titles in the Duke Sledge series, available from your local bookseller!



The Case of the Back Alley Blond

City Hall Serenade

City of Fallen Angels

Mulholland Mayhem

Mean Streets: a Duke Sledge Anthology (special order only)

Dead Men do tell Tales

The Man with the Eye Patch

The Hollywood Two-Step

The Finger in the Trophy Case

The Case of the Jilted Grandmother

Of Cheap Whiskey and Empty Guns

The Chinese-Speaking, Chinese-Looking Chinaman from Chinatown

Bootlegger’s Bounty

All the News that’s unfit to Print

Bullets on the Beach

A Decade of Duke: 10 Years of the Duke Sledge Saga

[EdRider]

Awesome story and you could write more serial stories about the notorious Duke Sledge!

I really like the variable writing style you have and each story is great!

As usual, MOAR!

[Braxton]

I get so sad when I get to the end.


MOAR MOAR mOAR

[Hammer31]

Another kick ass story PB. Thank you!

[Hudsonhawk777]

PB,,Thanks again for another story I appreciate the fact that your stories always have and ending. The sleuth story was an interesting introduction to the world of the undead hadn't seen that perspective before. What do you have for us next Ponyboy I think myself as well as some others here will read anything with your name attached.

[FrANkNstEin]

Thx for the great story PB!

[kcor_77]

Just finished the story great work ponyboy.

[McDutch]

Just finished reading this, I was literally on the edge of my seat when Duke entered the warehouse

Really vivid story, I thoroughly enjoyed it can't wait to see what's next!

[Zimmy]

Great story. Thank you for your effort and willingness to put these out there!

Did you wrote the other Duke Sledge stories? I'm having trouble figuring out via phone

[deathstalkertwo]

Another great read, thanks, and keep writting so we can keep on enjoying!