Just a little bit I wrote tonight out of boredom. Wanted to try something different, and I noticed there were several journal-styled stories on here that were entertaining to read, so thought I'd see how it felt to write one. This is what I came up with.
decmbr 21 2009
i cant i cant. it hurtsand i hate this life. so close th noises like rainfall on the roof. its always there, i alwys hear them. groaning groaning groning never stops the gurgling the noises i cant gt them out f my head. god pleae make it go away please god im begging
fuck ths and all of them. im going home to see m wife and kids. so beatiful in the light smiling at me. i saved one bullet just t come home to them. i love yo marie, i love you
December 26, 2009
I don’t know where to start. I came home from work and there they were, all over my neighborhood. They were zombies, without a doubt, and I was really surprised at how recognizable they were. I mean, it’s not supposed to be like in the movies. Hollywood is always way off, right? Well this time, I knew what I was looking at. I had my pistol in my truck, so I just found a quiet place to park and tried to get something on the radio.
Well they found me in the truck so I got moving. I scavenged food from dumpsters and stuff for a while, but finding water was really hard. I managed though. Eventually after about a week on the run, I hit a couple and the truck wouldn’t go any further so I had to get out. I wanted to get away from the town, so I went into the woods. I figured I could make it to the highway on the other side and get a ride out of the insanity. But it got dark too fast and I was going to head back when I saw this place. It was a cabin, but with a big metal door. There were a bunch of bodies by the front just laying there. I checked inside and it looked clear. It was small, but had lots of food and water and stuff. There was one dead guy inside, and it looked like he shot himself. I dragged him out and laid him with the rest of the bodies, then went inside and locked the big metal door.
It’s been pretty dull here. I don’t really know how to pass the time. I guess I’ll try and get some sleep on the bedding that was laid here. It looks like whoever had this place first was really prepared-- I don’t know why anyone would abandon this kind of supply cache.
Anyway, I found this book by the bed, not far from that dude’s corpse. It looks like a journal, but it’s half full, and it looks like several people logged a bunch of entries. Might make for some decent reading, but I guess I should keep tradition, so I’m writing too.
December 27, 2009
Couldn’t get much sleep. I napped a little, but I woke up to that horrible groaning those monsters make. I checked around to find the zombie eating the corpse I had dragged out last night. I opened the door just enough to step out and smash its head with my crowbar. I don’t like killing these things, but I couldn’t just listen to it eating another person. I had to do something.
Well I’m back in here now, with no real reason to leave. There’s makeshift plumbing and everything. A gas generator runs all the electricity and there’s plenty of extra gas in here. One wall is filled with canned or dehydrated foods and the other is lined with jugs of water. This place is a paradise right now. I can’t believe no one was here when I found it, but if someone else tries to take it from me, I’ve got eleven .45 hollow points waiting for them. This shit is mine now.
Not really sure what the point of writing all this is. I mean, if anyone else reads it, it probably means I’m dead. It feels kinda like I’m foreboding my own doom or some shit. But hey, I have to pass the time, and this beats knitting, right?
I even found clothes here. This morning, I actually shaved. This place is the best thing that ever happened to me.
December 28, 2009
I don’t know what time it is. My watch was dead when I woke up and there aren’t any batteries in this place. It’s gotta be like two in the afternoon. God damn it’s fucking cold. I’m using a couple cans of Sterno to keep warm. All wrapped up in the blankets and stuff, but it doesn’t seem to help. I see zombies running around naked and stuff-- how the hell can they survive this? Well, not ‘survive’ exactly, but how can they just keep going?
I woke up to more groaning. It’s making it really hard to sleep, having to get up and take care of another zombie. When it warms up, I’m gonna move those bodies, like it or not. I can’t live with the noises they make-- it just has a way of taking your mind apart.
December 31, 2009
Okay, so I’ve been away from the journal a couple days cuz when I moved the bodies, one of the zombies got inside the safe house before I came back. I killed it and all, but then I had to move that body and clean up the mess it made. I ended up kinda randomly falling asleep cuz of the lack of rest lately. But I’ve got my schedule hammered out now, and I should be good. I’ve been told that a schedule is important to keep from losing your mind, and I like my mind where it is.
Anyway, with those bodies gone I shouldn’t have any more problems with the groaning. Last night I actually got a little sleep.
January 1, 2010
Unfuckingbelievable. I don’t know what it is that keeps the zombies coming here, but I woke up in the middle of the night with TWO of them groaning and gurgling outside. I didn’t feel safe going out there outnumbered, so I had to just sit in here and listen to it. It’s fucking with me.
I entertained myself by carving stuff into the wall. I drew a picture of a kitty. I didn’t know what I was doing at first but eventually it turned out okay. Not sure what to name it.
January 2, 2010
No sleep at all. This is getting crazy. Started eating more to make up for the energy I’m not gaining by sleeping. Does it work that way? Maybe if I eat enough I won’t have to sleep or something?
It sounds like there’s more of them out there now, like five or six. What the fuck am I gonna do? I only have so much ammo left and if I fire, it’ll attract more. Besides, as I’ve learned, the hollow points I have loaded are not so good for penetrating skulls. It’s kinda hit or miss with the penetration. What I wouldn’t give for some FMJ and a silencer.
Gonna try to get some sleep. Using some earmuffs to try and shut them up.
January 4, 2010
I forgot I had this journal. I’ve been occupied with Naz. Isn’t that a cute name for a cat? Naz? I thought it was cute. They say only God can create life, but I created Naz. I did. He keeps me company when I’m too depressed to think about this journal.
He’s just a woodcarving but he’s the closest thing I’ve got to a companion. Maybe it’s pathetic but it’s better than chatting up a zombie. I’m not crazy I’m just fucking desperate. I hope someone finds me here. I don’t think I can fight my way out anymore. I lost my chance.
January 5 2010
So fucking cold. I’m out of Sterno, I used it all trying to stay warm. I don’t know how long I can live in these temperatures and it gets worst at night. I cant sleep at all because of the zombies and now because of the cold. God won’t hear me pray anymore and even Naz won’t talk to me. I’m so alone just me and the supplies that keep me alive.
Fucking supplies wont let me die. It’s their fault that Im stuck here instead of dead somewhere. I don’t think I’d go to heaven. But hell sounds nice and warm, and probably has fewer zombies. That was a joke, at least I thought it was funny.
I don’t know how to pass the time now. I can just eat I guess. Im getting used to the groans and I think I’ll be okay. Just gotta live day by day, reset my brain every single day and wake up fresh and new.
January 6 2010
Finally got a little sleep yesterday or maybe I just passed out. I don’t know and I don’t care. I felt better this morning when I woke up.
I don’t even really notice the noise anymore. It’s the hopelessness that really hurts. There has to be like twenty of them out there. I think th cabin is surrounded.
I read some of the old entries in this book last night. Looks like there have been several people that used this book before me. One of them just stopped writing. Probably eaten. All the ones after him killed themselves. Isn’t that funny? I wonder if I’m gonna kill myself too.
There was even a woman who stayed here with her boyfriend. She was the one here before the guy that was before me. She writes about how her boyfriend got ripped up and then she poisoned herself. It reminds me a little of romeo and juliet except with less gayness and more zombies. Hey that was pretty funny.
Naz is talking to me again. He told me it will be okay. I want to believe him but I’m scared.
January 8 2010
today i started shitting blood. i thinks its cuz of the food. ive been eating a lot of salty stuff and probably not drnking enough water. naz thinks its an ulcer. i bet he's right, he knows a lot about this stuff. i ate a bunch of hotdog buns cuz bread is supposed to help that. i feel a little better.
the noise is getting worse there are so many out there. i don't know how many. i started to count the soudns they make but i cant remember all the numbers. its probably better i dont know anyway.
january 10 2010
i wish i coudl have been there for that poor woman. it mustve been so awful for hr to lose her man like that iwish i could have done somethng. she deserved so much better than what she got. its so fucking unfare. why dos god let this happen? why dos he let people like her sufer from horrible things like this? i should have ben there to take care of her. i should have don more.
these fucking zombis and this fuckin life. its so wrong its all so rong. why arent you stopping this god? what the fuck is wrong with you that you woud let this go on? i hate you i hate you so much.
janury 12 2010
they fucing kills naz. he wont talk to me at all i think the zombis got him. why the fuc wold they hurt a wood cat. i think this is jus god tryng to break me well it workd god. you win im broken. pleas just send them in. let me die pleas dont make me do it. i dont want to kill myself. i dont wan to be like the others.
jnury 13 2010
thts it i cant go on fuc you god for mking me do it i haet you. i have to bullets god, one for me and on for you you sick fuck
im sorry god, im sorry for my life and for wasting it like i did. im sorry that i hurt jane, she was a good wife and i never shod have left. im sorry i was a bad father. im sorry i didnt go to dans funeral and im sorry i never told anyone that it was me who slashed laurens tires. god pleas let my boys be safe please i dont wnt to see them in hell. i want them to be with you god im sorry im such a awful person
godbye you fucers im done with this place. whoevr finds this for gods ske pleas dont write in this book or you be dead soon. im sorry i never got to meet yo, if you see naz take care of him.
January 23, 2010
I can't believe I found this place just sitting here. The place is full of supplies, and looks like whoever was living here left behind almost all of it. The guy I found in here shot himself, put a .45 in his mouth. I found this journal on the bed. I haven't really read it yet, but I leafed through it and it looks like there've been several people in and out of here. It should be an interesting read later on.
My son seems pretty entertained with the little kitty cat carving on the wall by the bed. I think this place is right for us. Just goes to show that God will provide.
Anyway, I need to clean up a few bodies outside to make this place livable. I'll write more later.