The Dead at Destitute Mountain

Zombie or Post Apocalyptic themed fiction/stories.

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Re: The Dead at Destitute Mountain

Post by goofygurl » Tue Jan 28, 2014 7:30 am

Late coming in here b/c of work stuffs and sickness infecting my whole house but I wanted to jump in and say thanks TB. I am very hard to please when it comes to a story and I sat pheening for the next installment of Destitute. I eagerly await the next installment...there IS a next installment right? ;)

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Re: The Dead at Destitute Mountain

Post by Delsaw » Tue Jan 28, 2014 6:12 pm

Thanks for all the work and time you put into this story. It was one great ride.

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Re: The Dead at Destitute Mountain

Post by techmonkey » Fri Feb 07, 2014 11:28 am

so....sequel?

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Re: The Dead at Destitute Mountain

Post by 91Eunozs » Fri Feb 07, 2014 8:26 pm

techmonkey wrote:so....sequel?
This.
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Re: The Dead at Destitute Mountain

Post by mariposa » Fri Feb 07, 2014 9:59 pm

Bring on the sequel, please!

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Re: The Dead at Destitute Mountain

Post by Nancy1340 » Sat Feb 08, 2014 12:57 am

Sighhhhhhhh :(

Ready for more. And thank you. :clap:

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Re: The Dead at Destitute Mountain

Post by Gun_Nut_2k1 » Sat Feb 08, 2014 3:07 am

Sorry TB is being held in an undisclosed location untill he either produces more story, gives Michael back, or escapes. Muhahaha Mine is an evil laugh.
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Re: The Dead at Destitute Mountain

Post by Gun_Nut_2k1 » Sun Feb 23, 2014 6:04 pm

Apparently he is still locked up.
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Oneswunk wrote:Interesting idea, but I still prefer the feel of wood in my hands.
tarzan wrote:Not a sound argument for having wood, in my opinion.
Tommy Tran wrote:Before I drop hammer on a 'clear' SG I full finger both tubes!

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Re: The Dead at Destitute Mountain

Post by mariposa » Sun Feb 23, 2014 11:37 pm

Perhaps a search party is in order.

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Re: The Dead at Destitute Mountain

Post by Tinderbox » Mon Feb 24, 2014 11:26 am

mariposa wrote:Perhaps a search party is in order.
Nah. I'm still here sheltering in my super secret zombie bunker --- aka the living room couch.

I have been mulling over an alternate ending for Part 1. It would require going back and tweaking things a little -- not editing what I already posted, but rewriting it and then just plopping down the whole reworked part in one big brand new block of text. My only worry is that it would end up being confusing. :ohdear:

Anyway, I'm still here thinking about where in the apocalypse our characters will go to next.
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And the burnt Fool's bandaged finger goes wabbling back to the Fire..."

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Re: The Dead at Destitute Mountain

Post by Gun_Nut_2k1 » Mon Feb 24, 2014 12:19 pm

So how did you escape my undisclosed location?
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Oneswunk wrote:Interesting idea, but I still prefer the feel of wood in my hands.
tarzan wrote:Not a sound argument for having wood, in my opinion.
Tommy Tran wrote:Before I drop hammer on a 'clear' SG I full finger both tubes!

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Re: The Dead at Destitute Mountain

Post by Halfapint » Mon Feb 24, 2014 12:27 pm

I would be up for a large block of text as an "alternative ending"
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Re: The Dead at Destitute Mountain

Post by WendyPlains » Tue Feb 25, 2014 1:51 pm

Halfapint wrote:I would be up for a large block of text as an "alternative ending"
I would be up for not killing off Michael..... :wink:

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Re: The Dead at Destitute Mountain

Post by 91Eunozs » Tue Feb 25, 2014 5:46 pm

WendyPlains wrote:
Halfapint wrote:I would be up for a large block of text as an "alternative ending"
I would be up for not killing off Michael..... :wink:
Ditto...

That said, I can't see how the story would work...or at least work as well...without him dying. Without reading too much into it, for me personally Michael represented everything inocent and his death coincided with the death of innocence. For me his death and sacrifice was the "dead" at Destitute Mountain.

Re: a sequel, a natural extension would be the remaining team 1) finding a safe home for Hya and 2) tracking down Lex.

Just my $.02...

Again, great, great story and I'd buy this today if available...read a lot worse on my Kindle!
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Re: The Dead at Destitute Mountain

Post by Shellyann36 » Wed Feb 26, 2014 5:26 am

I must admit that I hate to see Michael's character gone. He is the glue that holds the rest of them together. I almost cried at his perceived death.
Wife to Keith, Mom to Michael (22) David (21) & Anthony (18) Lil Keith (2), Adam & Elijah (8 months)

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Re: The Dead at Destitute Mountain

Post by Gun_Nut_2k1 » Wed Feb 26, 2014 6:30 am

Save Michael or we Riot? Just to be clear I am not advocating or otherwise condoning any illegal activity, just funny ones.
GN
Oneswunk wrote:Interesting idea, but I still prefer the feel of wood in my hands.
tarzan wrote:Not a sound argument for having wood, in my opinion.
Tommy Tran wrote:Before I drop hammer on a 'clear' SG I full finger both tubes!

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Re: The Dead at Destitute Mountain

Post by Redsky » Wed Feb 26, 2014 12:57 pm

Gun_Nut_2k1 wrote:Save Michael or we Riot? Just to be clear I am not advocating or otherwise condoning any illegal activity, just funny ones.
I warned you TB.

They''re single minded ravenous creatures, will not stop until they get :words: MOAR!!!.

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Re: The Dead at Destitute Mountain

Post by osagemarine » Sat Mar 01, 2014 7:03 pm

Thank you for the story, um you have got to finish though! It's too good a story to just end! Sequel? Alternative ending, the aircraft circles back and kills everyone? No don't do that, there has got to be a sequel!

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Re: The Dead at Destitute Mountain

Post by Tinderbox » Mon Mar 03, 2014 12:26 am

91Eunozs wrote:
WendyPlains wrote:
Halfapint wrote:I would be up for a large block of text as an "alternative ending"
I would be up for not killing off Michael..... :wink:
Ditto...

That said, I can't see how the story would work...or at least work as well...without him dying. Without reading too much into it, for me personally Michael represented everything inocent and his death coincided with the death of innocence. For me his death and sacrifice was the "dead" at Destitute Mountain.

Re: a sequel, a natural extension would be the remaining team 1) finding a safe home for Hya and 2) tracking down Lex.
Well, that's the thing. I've written a bit more and even after adding some new characters, I've found myself in a little trap. I can't very well have them dragging Hyacinth with them through the apocalypse when they go to track down Lux. And I don't see them leaving her with anyone who they don't absolutely trust. Soooo...while I don't want to defang the story, I'm thinking of going back and changing things around just a bit. This is a rough draft, after all. :mrgreen:

One lesson this little trap has taught me -- always have at least an outline of the story sketched out all the way to the end! Less chance of having to go back and make major changes. :oops:

Thanks, as always, for the comments.
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And the burnt Fool's bandaged finger goes wabbling back to the Fire..."

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Re: The Dead at Destitute Mountain

Post by Halfapint » Mon Mar 03, 2014 2:25 am

Not that I condone killing of young children.... But after the ending you gave it honestly seems the natural ending. As someone above says the death of Micheal is like the death of innocence. After reading it I cant see it any other way.

So if you keep the original draft (as much as I hate Micheal's death) it is the natural end to the story. You have the survivors, you have them on a mission, Hya has already run off once, so it's logical that she will run off again. So you could write into the story that she took off running and straight into a horde of zombies. It sucks but..... I honestly don't have any emotion to Hya now that Micheal has died. Hya is innocent, much like Micheal. So having Hya die is something I could live with.

Now..... If you rewrite it where Micheal and Hya (assuming that goodnight house doesn't burn down) hold up in good night house (or whatever you choose). It'll be a feel good story.... Nothing against feel good stories but they don't seem to be your writing style. Not saying you couldn't work some magic and make it work out. Thought Micheal would need a lot of rest and a lot of healing in order to get back to his former self. Time is something our hero's do not have, especially with the mission to get Lux back Lucas wouldn't wait. Sooooo..... As much as I truly hate you for killing off Micheal.... I see no other way.

PS Hya is a smart young girl. She contributes nothing except an extra mouth to feed, but after all this I see her as a quite reserved type. Something like Lucas.... But will have a hidden talent of sneaking into something to avoid the monsters and finding things the big people can't. SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO YEA...
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Re: The Dead at Destitute Mountain

Post by selen » Mon Mar 03, 2014 4:01 am

Halfapint wrote:Not that I condone killing of young children.... But after the ending you gave it honestly seems the natural ending. As someone above says the death of Micheal is like the death of innocence. After reading it I cant see it any other way.

So if you keep the original draft (as much as I hate Micheal's death) it is the natural end to the story. You have the survivors, you have them on a mission, Hya has already run off once, so it's logical that she will run off again. So you could write into the story that she took off running and straight into a horde of zombies. It sucks but..... I honestly don't have any emotion to Hya now that Micheal has died. Hya is innocent, much like Micheal. So having Hya die is something I could live with.

Now..... If you rewrite it where Micheal and Hya (assuming that goodnight house doesn't burn down) hold up in good night house (or whatever you choose). It'll be a feel good story.... Nothing against feel good stories but they don't seem to be your writing style. Not saying you couldn't work some magic and make it work out. Thought Micheal would need a lot of rest and a lot of healing in order to get back to his former self. Time is something our hero's do not have, especially with the mission to get Lux back Lucas wouldn't wait. Sooooo..... As much as I truly hate you for killing off Micheal.... I see no other way.

PS Hya is a smart young girl. She contributes nothing except an extra mouth to feed, but after all this I see her as a quite reserved type. Something like Lucas.... But will have a hidden talent of sneaking into something to avoid the monsters and finding things the big people can't. SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO YEA...
Unlike Halfapint :) I do have emotions for Hya because I think she represents the future in the story.May be I think like this because I'm a woman :)

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Re: The Dead at Destitute Mountain

Post by Halfapint » Mon Mar 03, 2014 1:00 pm

selen wrote:Unlike Halfapint :) I do have emotions for Hya because I think she represents the future in the story.May be I think like this because I'm a woman :)
LOL hey I said I don't condone the killing of small children... BUUUUUUT if it happens oops.... :rofl:
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Re: The Dead at Destitute Mountain

Post by Redsky » Mon Mar 03, 2014 1:26 pm

Halfapint wrote:
selen wrote:Unlike Halfapint :) I do have emotions for Hya because I think she represents the future in the story.May be I think like this because I'm a woman :)
LOL hey I said I don't condone the killing of small children... BUUUUUUT if it happens oops.... :rofl:
Hya (God! why couldn't he have named her Daisy, I can never spell her name!) is a symbol as well. A symbol of hope and the future. If there had to be a loss, I would give up innocence so that the future would have a chance.

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Re: The Dead at Destitute Mountain

Post by Mr. E. Monkey » Mon Mar 03, 2014 1:50 pm

Redsky wrote:
Halfapint wrote:
selen wrote:Unlike Halfapint :) I do have emotions for Hya because I think she represents the future in the story.May be I think like this because I'm a woman :)
LOL hey I said I don't condone the killing of small children... BUUUUUUT if it happens oops.... :rofl:
Hya (God! why couldn't he have named her Daisy, I can never spell her name!) is a symbol as well. A symbol of hope and the future. If there had to be a loss, I would give up innocence so that the future would have a chance.
Ooh! Very well said!

That aside, there was a reason Hyacinth ran off. Maybe it only made sense in a traumatized little kid's brain sort of way, but there was a reason. It was also a fairly major plot point.

Having her run off again would accomplish neither. "Freeing up" the grownups to go off on their adventure would be too contrived, and could rob the story of a lot of potential.
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