The Event

Zombie or Post Apocalyptic themed fiction/stories.

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Redsky
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Re: The Event

Post by Redsky » Thu May 15, 2014 11:41 am

[.
Last edited by Redsky on Sun May 18, 2014 4:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: The Event

Post by Redsky » Thu May 15, 2014 11:54 am

.
Last edited by Redsky on Sun May 18, 2014 4:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: The Event

Post by Redsky » Thu May 15, 2014 11:55 am

I think at least ten positives would make me write the third part.

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Re: The Event

Post by Murphman » Thu May 15, 2014 12:34 pm

Positive #1.

Not sure what part 3 would be. The continuation of removing the infected?
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Redsky
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Re: The Event

Post by Redsky » Thu May 15, 2014 1:19 pm

Murphman wrote:Positive #1.

Not sure what part 3 would be. The continuation of removing the infected?
Still have 2/3 rds of the country outside of the government's control. I could see all kinds of scenarios.

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Re: The Event

Post by Spazzy » Thu May 15, 2014 1:53 pm

Awesome, and why can I see some shrink wasting time on rehab with people exactly as written. LOL
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Re: The Event

Post by 91Eunozs » Thu May 15, 2014 3:01 pm

Nice wrap up/tie-in Redsky... Great story.

When will it go off to the editor's/publishers?
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Re: The Event

Post by DAVE KI » Thu May 15, 2014 3:05 pm

Guess I'm positive 3.
Lots to be addressed yet.Such as why Rodney pretty much writes his ticket?(though I'm sure it was mentioned in some form).
How the military handles the exemption on draft status?
What the mission is such as recon beyond the Mississippi?
What happens when another ranking officer comes to the area and decides too change things agreed on by Jerry?
And the battle across the Mississippi.Sounds kinda hairy.
Ohhh you just got going good Red. :clap: :wink: :D
P.S. Gotta see if any of the squad ends up at the farm.
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Re: The Event

Post by MaconCJ7 » Thu May 15, 2014 3:37 pm

I'm thinking you should end it here, unless you have a plan for what's ahead. Part 1 and 2 had end points. Part 3 could go on forever, or until you got bored and stopped updating. Obviously you left a few things to tie into pretty bows as the story continues, I just don't want to see such a good story to die for lack of an end. If you have a plan, I would enjoy reading more. If not, you have done a fine job and it was really good to follow it all. :thumbup:
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Re: The Event

Post by JackOfVA » Thu May 15, 2014 5:20 pm

Please, more.

This story started out well and has only gotten better.

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Re: The Event

Post by FranktheTank » Thu May 15, 2014 6:21 pm

Great story, Redsky. I have thoroughly enjoyed it. Everybody always forgets about Indiana though, unless the people's republic of Illinois have over-ran it when the shit hit the fan........just kidding, we're the ones with the gun rights. :D

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Re: The Event

Post by idahobob » Thu May 15, 2014 9:00 pm

Here's a great big positive! :clap: :clap:

Without further ado, we need:


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Bob
III
People who are rather more than six feet tall and nearly as broad across the shoulders often have uneventful journeys. People jump out at them from behind rocks then say things like, "Oh. Sorry. I thought you were someone else."

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Re: The Event

Post by jackorchuck » Thu May 15, 2014 9:01 pm

Outstanding story and well written, thank you for entertaining us.

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Re: The Event

Post by airdrop » Thu May 15, 2014 11:57 pm

I don't think I could stand to have one more minute WITHOUT MOAR :words: that's right get back to work Mister , Always a pleasure to read your work, thanks .

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Re: The Event

Post by Halfapint » Fri May 16, 2014 3:32 am

I am fucking dumfounded...... 3 chapters ago I was nearly in tears as Recon was getting ripped apart and everyone killed or injured. Now at the end here I'm smiling from ear to ear as Jerry meets up with his family and friends. Now that Dawson is on the move I have a feeling I know where hes going.

If you don't start writing the 3rd part I'll be very angry. You won't like me when I'm angry.........


MOAR!!!!
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Re: The Event

Post by stalag17 » Fri May 16, 2014 5:42 pm

Really enjoyed the story, hope you will continue, I really would like to know about what happens to Dawson and a few of the others. You are a very compelling writer, thank you.

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Re: The Event

Post by Redsky » Sun May 18, 2014 5:43 pm

To all:

Thanks for reading and commenting on the story. As you can see I've taken the story off completely.

Couldn't delete the thread so editing took a long time.

I've decided to give publishing it a shot.

I will be writing another installment.

Currently the combined number of pages from both stories is over 1300.

I have some editing to do.

I post here once I know if it will get published.

Thanks again to all of you.
“Next time go faster! Fulton who the fuck told you that you could choke out a stenchie? Jesus!

Do I have to do everything?” he yelled at the squad staggering to his feet again.

“Oh he’s fine. He’s back in asshole mode.” Erica said

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Re: The Event

Post by Manliest » Sun May 18, 2014 9:19 pm

Positive 2: I missed the last installment, I think. So I'm going to be buying the ebook.

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Re: The Event

Post by Halfapint » Sun May 18, 2014 9:35 pm

Good luck with publishing when trying to find a publisher use this as a link they can see the feed back. Perhaps also the one on the other site where the guy was plagiarizing your work.... You know nothing shows your love for something like imitating it. or something......

Good luck with getting it published I'd order it so let us know.
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Re: The Event

Post by ivanor » Mon May 19, 2014 7:20 am

to start, i loved your story, well all of it i was permitted to read, as you posted the ending on thurs and pulled it on sunday i am sure i am not alone in not getting to read the end.

the only thing that i would suggest would be about your introducing the new members of the squad, having dawson give them all nicknames, and then using their entire name/rank/nickname every time they were in the story after that...if you give them a nickname, just use the nickname for general references. the reading around all those full rank/name/nicknames got real dry real fast.

would be like if bruce willis, in the fifth element, asked leeloo her name..(Leeloominaï Lekatariba Lamina-Tchaï Ekbat De Sebat), had her shorten it to leeloo, then called her by her full name everytime he talked to/about her...

just my two cents, and as previously stated, i loved your story.

ivanor
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I find myself more culpable than capable...

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just some junk... <Completed 3/19/15> viewtopic.php?f=113&t=111852

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Re: The Event

Post by teotwaki » Mon May 19, 2014 8:24 pm

Let me start out by saying that the major theme of the story that I liked was that our country did not collapse because we repurposed our military to defeat the zombie threat.

Now, more two cents.... :words: .....before long you'll be rich from any forum nitpicking :mrgreen:

I kept silent on my major gripes because it was a free story. I'd like to see you be successful with your new venue so be sure to proofread every sentence and not rely on spell check. The large number of correctly spelled but wrong words was extremely distracting. Check your technical facts: there were a number of distractions with communications and weapons. One example of how to avoid it would be to say "Army helicopter" rather than call out a Kiowa or Apache and get tangled up in details that would distract savvy readers who know something about military rotorcraft.

Best of luck and keep us posted on your progress.
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Re: The Event

Post by 91Eunozs » Tue May 20, 2014 6:07 pm

^^^this^^^

- across

- there, their, they're

- etc.

But I'm just picking nits....and it's easy to snipe from the peanut gallery when the reality is you have more writing talent than I...by far. You have a great imagination and gift for setting the scene via your words.

You're the idea guy...let an editor sweat the details.

Awesome story and I look forward to being able to purchase it!
Molon Latte...come & take our coffee order
Doctorr Fabulous wrote:... It's fun to play pretend, but this is the internet, and it's time to be serious.
zengunfighter wrote:... you don't want to blow a tranny in the middle of a pursuit...
woodsghost wrote:... A defensive gun without training is basically a talisman. It might ward off evil, but I wouldn't count on it.

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Re: The Event

Post by Redsky » Wed May 21, 2014 11:39 am

ivanor wrote:to start, i loved your story, well all of it i was permitted to read, as you posted the ending on thurs and pulled it on sunday i am sure i am not alone in not getting to read the end.

the only thing that i would suggest would be about your introducing the new members of the squad, having dawson give them all nicknames, and then using their entire name/rank/nickname every time they were in the story after that...if you give them a nickname, just use the nickname for general references. the reading around all those full rank/name/nicknames got real dry real fast.

would be like if bruce willis, in the fifth element, asked leeloo her name..(Leeloominaï Lekatariba Lamina-Tchaï Ekbat De Sebat), had her shorten it to leeloo, then called her by her full name everytime he talked to/about her...

just my two cents, and as previously stated, i loved your story.

ivanor
You're right about the nickname thing. Don't know why I did that.

Sorry about you not getting to read the last couple of chapters.

I had to get rolling on the reboot and editing of the stories.

Again thanks for reading will post when the decisions have been finalized on publishing or not.

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Re: The Event

Post by Redsky » Wed May 21, 2014 11:43 am

teotwaki wrote:Let me start out by saying that the major theme of the story that I liked was that our country did not collapse because we repurposed our military to defeat the zombie threat.

Now, more two cents.... :words: .....before long you'll be rich from any forum nitpicking :mrgreen:

I kept silent on my major gripes because it was a free story. I'd like to see you be successful with your new venue so be sure to proofread every sentence and not rely on spell check. The large number of correctly spelled but wrong words was extremely distracting. Check your technical facts: there were a number of distractions with communications and weapons. One example of how to avoid it would be to say "Army helicopter" rather than call out a Kiowa or Apache and get tangled up in details that would distract savvy readers who know something about military rotorcraft.

Best of luck and keep us posted on your progress.
Your absolutely right about the nomenclature issue with the equipment. It would be some much easier that way. I am going through the story line by line making those corrections and shaking my head at some of the words. :roll:

Thanks for reading and the advice.

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