DUMBEST F*&@king thing you've ever heard NOT ON THE ZS FORUM

[yossarian]

"Last time I was in Iraq the soldiers at the gate were using Marlin Guide Guns in 45-70 for car stoppers"

" The guy at Wal-mart told me I can use .380 in my by Makarov, they just won't go off every time.......He's right they don't"

"I don't plan on carrying a gun all the time, just when I need it."

"Do you have some kind of practice bullets that aren't as loud"

"I put the firing pin in backwards so it would go full auto"

"The Ruger LCP is made of polymer, the kel-tec is junk cause it's just plastic"

"The M-16 I had in Vietnam was made by Mattell" ( I didn't think anybody actually believed this but there was no convincing him otherwise, he remembered it)

Many, many more I don't remember right now.

[ei8htx]

1) You don't need to aim a shotgun.
2) You cross your thumbs when holding a pistol (he lost some skin that day).
3) Glock is DAO.

[vegasguy]

the ATF is not out to get you

[Krustofski]

And from the hunting community: "The bigger the bullet, the less you have to care for precise aiming."

Oh yes. "I use 9.3×64mm on everything, including roe deer. It's perfect. You can hit anywhere in the chest and it will simply pulverize the lung."
Okay... dude, it's a fucking European roe deer with 30 kg tops. Do you actually want to, you know, have meat left to eat? Also, "hit anywhere" and "pulverize the lung"? As a matter of simple physiscs, that's not possible. Even if it was, want a session on my ventilator with all dials cranked to the right to see how that feels? How about trying a clean heart shot? I know that doesn't always work, we can't all be Simo Häyhä, but at least try, for goodness' sake. What's next, .375 Holland for fox hunting? .50 BMG against elk? Actually, the last idea doesn't sound too bad, but gee, some people.

Another one from our fellow hunters, though admittedly from another type of hunter: "I only use FMJ. Anything different doesn't produce a clear exit wound. Without a clear exit wound the blood loss is not going to be enough and it won't produce a reliable kill."
Seriously? We make people go through a hunting exam that's akin to a damn Bachelor's degree, and they still lack any understanding of basic anatomy? It's neither a hollow sphere nor a solid block of flesh. It's a chest cavity, there's a lung and a heart in it. And major blood vessels. And guess what, it doesn't matter if blood is spouting from two holes on each side of the body, or if it pools up in the damn lung. Blood loss is blood loss. Plus, is "wound it and let it bleed to death" really your prefered way to kill something?

Oh, also: "Yeah man, I know I muzzle swept you, but come on, it's just a .22. Don't be a dick."
I want to stab him with a screwdriver and then go "Yeah man, that's much smaller in diameter then a .22 and it doesn't even expand. Don't be a dick about it." Not that I'm a friend of stabbing people with screwdrivers, but if that doesn't get the point across, nothing will.

[SwampRat]

Ooooo I wanna play!

My girls ex-husband (we call him mittens for short, long story) to my girl about the shotgun I gave her for home defense:

"No body uses mossy 500's for anything, they are pieces of shit. You shoulda got a ___________."

Later...

"Besides, you can't kill anything with a 20 gauge."

My girl, gotta love her, "Wanna test that theory?"

[Bunsen]

Seriously? We make people go through a hunting exam that's akin to a damn Bachelor's degree, and they still lack any understanding of basic anatomy? It's neither a hollow sphere nor a solid block of flesh.

As a physicist, I must disagree with your assertion regarding the non-sphericity of ungulates. The spherical cow model is widely applied throughout physics, engineering, and numerous other disciplines[1] and has recently been empirically verified[2]:

As we know that ungulates generally share a common morphology, we may therefore conclude that a significant portion of large game animals are, in fact, spherical[3].

The problem, I think, is that your hunters are only educated to the undergraduate level. Postgraduate education would make such reasoning as this second nature.

[1]Kirkman, T. W. (1996).
[2]Szöllősi, G. (2009).
[3]

[sdkmcqueen]

A few years ago at my local gun store. My dad was looking at a Kimber 1911, (Before all the QC problems) and he dropped the slide, immediately some twitchy guy jogged up to my dad.
"If you let the slide go without a bullet to cushion it you'll shatter the barrel!!!" My dad who is ex-Navy and a retired Sheriffs Deputy looks at him and says,
"Thats the stupidest thing I've ever heard." The guy got a sad look on his face and skulked out of the shop. We all got a good laugh about that one.

[Einher]

I had a friend in high school who had no practical experience with guns at all, but wanted "a matched pair of 1911's" (or 'colt .45's as he called them) for home defense; one for each hand. I think he used the word 'unbeatable combo'.

Several of us tried to explain why his plan was completely foolish and dangerously ridiculous, but nothing would dissuade him.

[Czechnology]

Not that I'm a friend of stabbing people with screwdrivers

I totally am.

[Kommander]

I had a friend in high school who had no practical experience with guns at all, but wanted "a matched pair of 1911's" (or 'colt .45's as he called them) for home defense; one for each hand. I think he used the word 'unbeatable combo'.

Several of us tried to explain why his plan was completely foolish and dangerously ridiculous, but nothing would dissuade him.

If your going to go out you might as well go out in style.

[Dave_M]

Gonna add these to the list

[birdshot is] not a bad option if you live in an apartment. LL rubber slugs are a good idea from an overpenetration standpoint too. You could always load for HD so you've got two birdshot shells first, followed by two 00 buck shells, and then a slug just in case.

The 416 was based on the G36.

[Valarius]

This comes from a former friend of mine,

"Dude, you don't need to waste money on 7.62x54r ammo, just use .30-06 rounds in your Mosin. The 7.62x54r is just the Russian name for .30-06. They are the same round, it'll be fine."

This was followed by me smacking him upside the head.

Serious question here, because it's come up more than once. Can guns chambered for 7.62 NATO fire the 7.62 x 39 bullet?

(Bear in mind that I am not going to attempt to fire a Russian bullet through an FN FAL. I just want a short answer to give.)

[yossarian]

This comes from a former friend of mine,

"Dude, you don't need to waste money on 7.62x54r ammo, just use .30-06 rounds in your Mosin. The 7.62x54r is just the Russian name for .30-06. They are the same round, it'll be fine."

This was followed by me smacking him upside the head.

Serious question here, because it's come up more than once. Can guns chambered for 7.62 NATO fire the 7.62 x 39 bullet?

(Bear in mind that I am not going to attempt to fire a Russian bullet through an FN FAL. I just want a short answer to give.)

NO. 7.62 is the diameter of the bullet. 7.62x51 =7.62Nato.= .308 Winchester (roughly, there are significant pressure differences between military and commercial loads) There are several other .30 rounds that use the 7.62 designation including 7.62x39, used in the AK and SKS and 7.62x25 used in the Tokarez and CZ 52 and of course 7.62x54r used in the Mosin

[Skull_Hide]

Besides the case being totally wrong and I doubt it would fit so it would fire I thought Russian made 7.62 ammo was .310/.311 where American made 7.62 ammo was .308, that's why Ruger Mini 30 have a force cone in them to force the bullet smaller so its more passable/accurate. But I picked that up from a few different internet forums and we all know how reliable those are.

[Psycosis]

This comes from a former friend of mine,

"Dude, you don't need to waste money on 7.62x54r ammo, just use .30-06 rounds in your Mosin. The 7.62x54r is just the Russian name for .30-06. They are the same round, it'll be fine."

This was followed by me smacking him upside the head.

Serious question here, because it's come up more than once. Can guns chambered for 7.62 NATO fire the 7.62 x 39 bullet?

(Bear in mind that I am not going to attempt to fire a Russian bullet through an FN FAL. I just want a short answer to give.)

no, no, and no.

[HardcoreSlot]

"If you cant legally own a hand gun in your city then, legally, cops cant have em either. Just no one with enough money or balls have challenged it."

[Tribunal Power]

"I'm gonna need to see your concealed carry permit to make sure the serial number matches your gun." ("But officer... my gun's serial number doesn't go on the CCW permit. And even if it did, I could be carrying another piece. And even if I was, there's no firearms registration in Kentucky... x___x")

"Carrying a glock with a round in the chamber is dangerous because glocks have no safety. Just learn to pull the slide on the draw." (This is why I don't take self-defense advice from gun store owners)

"I carry a .22 Magnum revolver because .22 Mag is proven to cause hydrostatic shock. It's a man-killer." (Really? I must have missed that episode of Mythbusters...)

I'm sure I'll think of more...

[squinty]

Bird shot is the best for home defence. ( Police officer )

It's not a bad option if you live in an apartment. LL rubber slugs are a good idea from an overpenetration standpoint too. You could always load for HD so you've got two birdshot shells first, followed by two 00 buck shells, and then a slug just in case.

As far as stupid things I've heard, there was a shooting spree in Canada a few years ago at a college. The shooter used a CX4 Storm, I think in 9mm. He shot 20 people and 1 died. One of the survivors got on a soapbox calling the Storm a "military battle rifle" which has no place being legal in Canada. This from a guy who'd been shot in the head and neck and survived. Perhaps he'd rather the guy had shot him with a hunting rifle?

I would recommend buckshot in a HD shotgun. Mix'n'match ammo in a shotgun tube, gradually scaling up the 'lethality' of the rounds, is a bad SD strategy. Not quite the dumbest thing I've ever heard, but ironic to read it in this thread nonetheless.

There is no free lunch WRT overpenetration. What penetrates bad guys penetrates walls, what doesn't penetrate walls doesn't do a great job of penetrating bad guys.

Tribunal, I've also had police ask me if my guns were "registered" or if I had the "paperwork" for them. My state also has no gun registry of any sort.

And this may not count because it wasn't in person, but I remember seeing a "COPS" knockoff show, filmed in Atlanta, where a policeman arrested a young man on a bicycle and rummaged through his bookbag to find an unloaded HiPoint and a box of ammo. The officer asked the young man where he'd purchased the ammo, and the young man said "Wal-Mart."
The officer then said "now I know you're lying because these are Hollow Point Bullets, they don't sell these to anyone but police and military."

A friend of mine was speaking to his dad's new fiance' - a therapist and "life counselor" from Manhattan. She knew he was a gun enthusiast, and somehow (she forced the issue) the subject of semiautomatic weapons came up and she asked why anybody would own such a weapon. He explained the difference between full auto and semi, mentioned lower recoil, faster follow up shots and their utility wrt self defense and hunting (where a second shot can make the difference between a quick kill and a long drawn out stalk, during which the animal suffers, and in the case of dangerous game can save the hunter's life.) He talked about shooting sports where your shots were timed as well as scored for accuracy. He talked about the speed of reloading, bot as a defensive consideration and a way to get more practice in a shorter amount of time at the range. He talked a lot.
At the end of his little dissertation she took a sip of her drink and very primly said "Well I can't imagine a single reason why any person would want that kind of gun."
And he wanted to say "WTF I just gave you like SIX perfectly good reasons" but he didn't want to ruin his old poor old dad's engagement party.

The clerk at Gander Mountain who rang up my 629 purchase beckoned me to lean in closely and said, in a conspiratorial voice, that I should pour mercury into the cavity of .44 mag hollowpoints, and seal it in with molten wax. That way, the bullets would explode on impact.

OK ok, last and best: I heard nurses at work was discussing a trauma patient - a guy who'd been shot or stabbed or something at a local convenience store/gas station that's notorious for such mayhem.
One of them said "Oh gosh, I stop there on the way to work in the morning all the time!" and the other said "Not me. Once I get my concealed carry permit I won't mind going there though." Because of course, there's no reason to avoid violent or dangerous places at all if you have a gun. It makes everything magically ok.

[Krustofski]

As a physicist, I must disagree with your assertion regarding the non-sphericity of ungulates. The spherical cow model is widely applied throughout physics, engineering, and numerous other disciplines[1] and has recently been empirically verified[2]:

http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l0dkp ... o1_500.jpg

As we know that ungulates generally share a common morphology, we may therefore conclude that a significant portion of large game animals are, in fact, spherical[3].

The problem, I think, is that your hunters are only educated to the undergraduate level. Postgraduate education would make such reasoning as this second nature.

[1]Kirkman, T. W. (1996).
[2]Szöllősi, G. (2009).
[3]

Touché! Should have seen that one coming.

The 416 was based on the G36.

If that means the basic business idea was "hey let's do some lobby work and coax a government into buying a good and functional but tremendously overpriced rifle" then that's actually true.

[Tribunal Power]

And this may not count because it wasn't in person, but I remember seeing a "COPS" knockoff show, filmed in Atlanta, where a policeman arrested a young man on a bicycle and rummaged through his bookbag to find an unloaded HiPoint and a box of ammo. The officer asked the young man where he'd purchased the ammo, and the young man said "Wal-Mart."
The officer then said "now I know you're lying because these are Hollow Point Bullets, they don't sell these to anyone but police and military."

I've seen this as well. It's especially silly because it's illegal for the military to use expanding ammunition. I've talked baout that clip to other people before. Too funny.

... Although I'd hate to be that poor kid.

[Erik]

Okay, this is more first aid than guns, but it's one of the dumbest things I've ever heard.

I was getting tires replaced at a shop and the tech saw I had a first aid kit. He asked why I had one and I told him it was to help others in an emergency. It was naturally stocked with new sterile in-package bandages and the like. Here is the conversation that we had:

Him: I don't need a first aid kit. I would just rip up my shirt and use those to bandage in an emergency.

Me: But your shirt is filthy. It's covered in grit and engine grease.

Him: That would help stop the bleeding more.

Me: Aren't you worried about causing even more damage to the wound? Or at least infection?

Him: I think the guy would just be glad he was receiving help.

Me: Wouldn't he be more glad if you used sterile bandages? Here, let me give you some from my kit for free.

Him: No need, I have my shirt.

[squinty]

And this may not count because it wasn't in person, but I remember seeing a "COPS" knockoff show, filmed in Atlanta, where a policeman arrested a young man on a bicycle and rummaged through his bookbag to find an unloaded HiPoint and a box of ammo. The officer asked the young man where he'd purchased the ammo, and the young man said "Wal-Mart."
The officer then said "now I know you're lying because these are Hollow Point Bullets, they don't sell these to anyone but police and military."

I've seen this as well. It's especially silly because it's illegal for the military to use expanding ammunition. I've talked baout that clip to other people before. Too funny.

... Although I'd hate to be that poor kid.

"Please officer! Please take me to jail please don't "reason" with me anymore!"

My google-fu has failed, please someone dig up a video of SLim Pickens in Dr. Strangelove saying:

"Well I've been to one world fair, a picnic, and a rodeo and that's the stupidest thing I ever heard come over a set of earphones."

[minengr]

lightweight barrels aren't accurate
only heavy barrels are accurate
chrome lined barrels aren't accurate
222 Rem is more accurate than 223 Rem
223 Rem is more accurate than 222 Rem
only 223 and 308 are accurate because the military uses them
xxxxx is the best choice for hunting xxxxx because you don't have to be as accurate
223 won't kill deer
Anything that follows "my buddy that's a SEAL said"

To be honest, I've heard and read so much stupid shit, it doen't even register with me any longer.

[Czechnology]

And this may not count because it wasn't in person, but I remember seeing a "COPS" knockoff show, filmed in Atlanta, where a policeman arrested a young man on a bicycle and rummaged through his bookbag to find an unloaded HiPoint and a box of ammo. The officer asked the young man where he'd purchased the ammo, and the young man said "Wal-Mart."
The officer then said "now I know you're lying because these are Hollow Point Bullets, they don't sell these to anyone but police and military."

I've seen this as well. It's especially silly because it's illegal for the military to use expanding ammunition. I've talked baout that clip to other people before. Too funny.

... Although I'd hate to be that poor kid.

Haha somehow I don't think I'd be overly upset to be arrested for having JHP's on my person. I'd be laughing too hard to have a problem with it.