DUMBEST F*&@king thing you've ever heard NOT ON THE ZS FORUM

[Caenus]

After further research, the facts relayed to me regarding the circumstances were wrong. Apparently the guy broke into the house and tried to assault him. That is what my sister was referring to. "If the guy has something he wants that bad, just give it to him and call the cops after he leaves."

She is convinced that it was a drug house and the guy didn't tell the police everything.

[zobmiedown]

I am betting that during the course of the Police Dept's investigation of the shooting if it was a drug house they would have noticed that.

[Ad'lan]

Not hating on our fellow Zombie Squad members in CA after all I bet most would carry if you could.

Lots of our CA members can and do.

Can we please get back to face palming stupidity, not political opinions about gun control.

[zobmiedown]

My point was not to be political but the stupidity of the logic that to take guns from honest people or rather restrict them allows crime to flourish as then only criminals have guns. If you noticed I compared my sisters view on gun control and the crime in her area vs. mine. But if it makes everyone feel better.......

I was old while buying ammo for my daughters .22 at wally world by a stranger "oh the .22 is the perfect home defense round as there would be no lawsuit like with a 9mm." This in a state with Castle Doctrine and no permit required for CC laws by a man openly carrying a 1911.

[Roger Brough]

While sitting beside a Wendy's Drive thru window in Schenectady last week, I was told that my order came to $4.16
I handed the young man a $10 and a $1
He put it the cash register and then looked at me in fear. I thought for a second that it was because I have a very large scar that runs from under my right nostril down to my chin and then up the other side to my eyebrow, kind of like a large checkmark, from severe reaction to an acne cream when I was younger.
But, it was because of his debilitating fear of math.
He handed me back change that added up to $23.
I told him that I was afraid there had been a mistake.
He replied that he was sorry but it had been so crowded that he computed it wrong and so he handed me another $5.

[AKFTW]

While sitting beside a Wendy's Drive thru window in Schenectady last week, I was told that my order came to $4.16
I handed the young man a $10 and a $1
He put it the cash register and then looked at me in fear. I thought for a second that it was because I have a very large scar that runs from under my right nostril down to my chin and then up the other side to my eyebrow, kind of like a large checkmark, from severe reaction to an acne cream when I was younger.
But, it was because of his debilitating fear of math.
He handed me back change that added up to $23.
I told him that I was afraid there had been a mistake.
He replied that he was sorry but it had been so crowded that he computed it wrong and so he handed me another $5.

Bahahaha, that's great.

[Dawgboy]

And I quote:

"I believe in an America where millions of Americans believe in an America that's the America millions of Americans believe in. That's the America I love." —Mitt Romney

Let's not get into the politics of it, but this just has to be one of the stupidest things to come out of a person's mouth in a while...

[Rebel Pariah]

as long as its not about the politics, I don't think dumb shit politicians have said should be banned from this thread... I am sure there are some gems to be heard,

I would probably not say who the quote is from if they are currently running for something or some other political jockeying, just to keep things clean, but that's just my .02, I will be a good member and head the bidding of my Cruel Masters Moderators

"I believe in an America where millions of Americans believe in an America that's the America millions of Americans believe in. That's the America I love."

does this mean our population is over 1 billion now?

[wamba]

Everywhere I've worked one way or another it's come out that I own & enjoy guns. And there's usually at least one person that gives me shit over it, well some years back there was full of himself 19 year old that loved to give me grief about "wasting my money". According to him my occasional grumpiness wasn't due to long hours & constantly cleaning up after sloppy coworkers it was because of not getting laid enough (he might have had a valid point ). One Monday we're at lunch & he's telling everyone about all the girls that wanted to ride on his jetski over the weekend.
He turns to me & say's, "You know if you'd buy a jetski you'd be getting some different tail every weekend, but instead you keep spend all your money on guns."

Well after pointing out that any girl who'd put out for a ride on a jetski should come with a visit to the clinic I said what was possibly the dumbest gun statement to ever cross my lips. "Besides you're overlooking the fact that with my guns I can have your jetski anytime I want it!" Not real proud of that one but it did shut him up for a good long while.

[zobmiedown]

Along that line I once had a boss that was also a decan in his church. One day he says to me all I know about you is you have big German Shepards and lots of guns. Before I could use my brain to override my mouth I told him to "keep that in mind when it came time for layoffs". He never really spoke to me again in the two more months he was our boss before taking a different job in the company.

[KnightoftheRoc]

Along that line I once had a boss that was also a decan in his church. One day he says to me all I know about you is you have big German Shepards and lots of guns. Before I could use my brain to override my mouth I told him to "keep that in mind when it came time for layoffs". He never really spoke to me again in the two more months he was our boss before taking a different job in the company.

I believe this is the very first self-submission in the thread- congratulations, I think!

[Rebel Pariah]

Along that line I once had a boss that was also a decan in his church. One day he says to me all I know about you is you have big German Shepards and lots of guns. Before I could use my brain to override my mouth I told him to "keep that in mind when it came time for layoffs". He never really spoke to me again in the two more months he was our boss before taking a different job in the company.

I believe this is the very first self-submission in the thread- congratulations, I think!

there was one right before that jetskis and whatnot

[zobmiedown]

WE all say stupid things sometimes. But hey did I forget to mention I didn't get laid off......lol

[wamba]

Along that line I once had a boss that was also a decan in his church. One day he says to me all I know about you is you have big German Shepards and lots of guns. Before I could use my brain to override my mouth I told him to "keep that in mind when it came time for layoffs". He never really spoke to me again in the two more months he was our boss before taking a different job in the company.

I believe this is the very first self-submission in the thread- congratulations, I think!

there was one right before that jetskis and whatnot

That's OK, it's a "honor" that I'm perfectly happy to share.

More than one person over the years when seeing me pull out ear protection has said something along the lines of, "But I thought we were just going to shoot .22s?"
For some reason a lot of people think .22lr won't damage your hearing.

[zobmiedown]

Israel Weapon Industries (IWI) have also introduced a select-fire (full-auto/semi-auto) 7.62mm NATO battle rifle/carbine called the IWI ACE 52/52L/53 “Assault Rifle”, which is based on the combat-proven/battle-proven Galil
Source: DefenseReview.com (http://s.tt/178h9)

Umm whats the difference between combat-proven and battle proven?

[jamoni]

So some college punk was trying to convince me that the 2d Amendment only applies to National Guard. But that's not what got him sent to this thread.
Anyway, he's just throwing out made up "statistics" and hemming and hawing when I challenge him to cite his sources.
But that's not it either.
At one point he says "There are plenty of countries that have low crime rates and don't have guns!"
Says I "Name one".
And he replies "Europe."

[Polley]

I was reading a classmates "My Utopia" paper. This is how it started:

"In the world of society, [....]" I couldn't take it seriously at all after that intro. The fact they wanted to use bottle caps and paper money as a form of currency didn't help, either. My favourite part was the, "There would be no discrimination whatsoever, and the two groups (straights and gays) would be separated by being kept on different sides of the country."

Nope. No discrimination there.

[painiac]

While sitting beside a Wendy's Drive thru window in Schenectady last week, I was told that my order came to $4.16
I handed the young man a $10 and a $1
He put it the cash register and then looked at me in fear. I thought for a second that it was because I have a very large scar that runs from under my right nostril down to my chin and then up the other side to my eyebrow, kind of like a large checkmark, from severe reaction to an acne cream when I was younger.
But, it was because of his debilitating fear of math.
He handed me back change that added up to $23.
I told him that I was afraid there had been a mistake.
He replied that he was sorry but it had been so crowded that he computed it wrong and so he handed me another $5.

Haha
Sadly, even the most basic arithmetic seems to be a lost skill among teenagers.

This isn't gun-related, either, but what the hell.
After highschool, I worked retail. We had one cashier who was definitely not the sharpest spoon in the drawer.
I was going on break and grabbed some food and a 20oz drink. She was the only open cashier so I had to go through her line.
I can't recall exactly what the total was, but it was some odd amount, like $3.29 or something. I only had a $5 and some coins, and didn't particularly want even MORE coins jingling in my pocket, so I handed her the $5 and said, "wait a sec", counted out and overpaid with some coins. She looked at the $5 in her left hand, the coins in her right hand, and said, "um...wait, why are you-"
I interrupted her: "Just type it in, you'll see"
She does.
The display reads that my change is $1
Her eyes get huge. "HOW'D YOU DO THAT?!"
"Math."
I grabbed my stuff and walked away.

On another occasion, she was checking out a customer at her register and I heard her yell over to the service desk cashier, "how many fives are in a twenty?"
And figuring out what 10% is to give a discount on-the-fly? (Uh, just move the decimal place and subtract the resulting number from the original?) Fucking forget it. If there wasn't a button for it on her register it wasn't happening.

[BigDaddyTX]

You think kids math today is bad? My 19 year old brother in law came to stay with us thinking he was going to start new or some shit; he didn't make it a week because we had him go to work (why he was here) and gave him responsibilities around the house. He also keeps saying he's looking for a job in construction or equally blue collar labor when for the week he was here he helped at my dad's company doing odd jobs, digging a ditch, pruning trees, etc., for a whopping 20 hours and he couldn't hack that. Anyway..

I have a 19 month old who loves being read to. I had my BIL read him his favorite book, So Big! which is for 9 mo +. He couldn't get past the first sentence without screwing up. The rest of the book I heard him read was practically jibberish as he just picked words on the page to read in no particular order it seemed, and that's only the ones he actually read correctly as opposed to inserting a word that looked like the words. I mean, the hardest sentence in the book is "Baby Elmo drinks from a cup" He doesn't have any real learning deficiencies like dyslexia (yes, tested), he's just that bad at reading and he somehow graduated HS. He's a worthless piece of crap and his momma is letting him stay that way *sigh*.

[Polley]

You think kids math today is bad? My 19 year old brother in law came to stay with us thinking he was going to start new or some shit; he didn't make it a week because we had him go to work (why he was here) and gave him responsibilities around the house. He also keeps saying he's looking for a job in construction or equally blue collar labor when for the week he was here he helped at my dad's company doing odd jobs, digging a ditch, pruning trees, etc., for a whopping 20 hours and he couldn't hack that. Anyway..

I have a 19 month old who loves being read to. I had my BIL read him his favorite book, So Big! which is for 9 mo +. He couldn't get past the first sentence without screwing up. The rest of the book I heard him read was practically jibberish as he just picked words on the page to read in no particular order it seemed, and that's only the ones he actually read correctly as opposed to inserting a word that looked like the words. I mean, the hardest sentence in the book is "Baby Elmo drinks from a cup" He doesn't have any real learning deficiencies like dyslexia (yes, tested), he's just that bad at reading and he somehow graduated HS. He's a worthless piece of crap and his momma is letting him stay that way *sigh*.

I am literally the only person in my novels class that can read. I feel your pain.

[Ad'lan]

He doesn't have any real learning deficiencies like dyslexia (yes, tested)

Thank you. As a certified dyslexic (not many people have a certificate saying they are Special needs) one of the dumbest things I hear is people defending their bad spelling or similar with a claim of "I'm dyslexic". It gets my goat when it's on a forum, but in real life when it happens to come from students, I usually will never have seen said student at the DSO (Disability Support Office), and so I'll get to cheerfully point out:

"If you actually think you are dyslexic, come with me to the DSO and we can get you tested, it only takes an afternoon, and your local county council will pay for it while you are a student. Then you get extra time in exams and other help"

No one who has yet defended their Your/You're errors, or their their/there/they're mistakes has taken me up on the offer.

Defending your errors with the claim "I'm dyslexic" is one of the dumbest things I've heard because dyslexia makes things harder for you in some ways, but it doesn't stop you proofreading and using a spellchecker, even if both those tasks are harder than otherwise.

PS: Please call me out for any spelling errors I have made.

[squinty]

I was reading a classmates "My Utopia" paper. This is how it started:

"In the world of society, [....]" I couldn't take it seriously at all after that intro. The fact they wanted to use bottle caps and paper money as a form of currency didn't help, either. My favourite part was the, "There would be no discrimination whatsoever, and the two groups (straights and gays) would be separated by being kept on different sides of the country."

Nope. No discrimination there.

I can't read "In the world of society" without hearing it in Don LaFontaine's voice.

[painiac]

I can't read "In the world of society" without hearing it in Don LaFontaine's voice.

Definitely.
Reminds me of this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fVDzuT0fXro
(edit: I was thinking that was Don LaFontaine, but it isn't. Oh well, still funny)

[squinty]

I can't read "In the world of society" without hearing it in Don LaFontaine's voice.

Definitely.
Reminds me of this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fVDzuT0fXro
(edit: I was thinking that was Don LaFontaine, but it isn't. Oh well, still funny)

Hal Douglas definitely counts.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O8Yi93AF ... re=related